Angry Father Cuffs Himself to Government Minister

iWon News: "LONDON (Reuters) - A disgruntled British father handcuffed himself to a government minister on Friday in a bid to draw attention to a campaign for divorced fathers' rights."

I am not sure stunts like this would make me want to give fathers more custody rights. Would most likely make me want to keep the children far far away. But then again I am not a big one for custody rights in general. Having been raised through 2 divorces and various step fathers, I realize now as an adult it is not possible for a man to actually meet the needs of two families successfully. I resented many things about the whole arrangment, suffered various jealousies and was used in some ways as a pawn for both sides. And my parents were actually pretty good people. I hate to imagine life for divorced children with people who are less than basically thoughtful.

Because of my early life when I became pregnant with my son and his father decided that he was too young to be a responsible parent I gave him two options, either be in my life or get the hell out. He chose out, On my sons birth certificate it says father "none". I never asked for child support and there was no visitation. My son grew up great as I married a wonderful man when he was a year old whom I am still with. This is who he considers his father and he did not even know he wasn't until he was 10 or so. He has since met his real father and they have developed an excellent relationship as adults. This is how it should be. Not forcing children to be torn between loyalties and using them as pawns against exes. And never speak badly about the other parent to the children. Even though I was left pregnant at 15 with a boy/man who didn't want to be part of it, I never spoke badly of him and to this day love him in that I was a child sort of way. I was always honest about the relationship including my part in telling him to go away and I do not regret a moment of it. If his father regrets it I am am sorry for him but he made his choice.

As adults our children can understand the vaguaries of human relationships as children they only understand loss and betrayal. Custody battles are evil no matter which side is doing the fighting and all parents should willingly do what is actually best for the child and that is love them always, support them if you can but never force them to divide their loyalties in court. In other words be the parents in the situation not the children. And if you have to walk away from the relationship or you don't have as much time as you would prefer, make the most of what you have or rediscover the relationship when they are adults.

The wife of son's father asked him if he didn't hate his dad for not being there and his response was no why would I, I had a dad.