Diamonds and Shoe Fairies

I called Brandy and asked her if I could store my mobile meth lab at U-STOR but she said, "the management is kind of frowning upon that at the moment". Yesterday I went to one of the auctions that B advertised and won the mystery furniture box and assorted other crap. The box was a big let down as it contained a broken 40 inch plasma TV. Among the assorted other crap was two back backs full of lingerie, mostly nice, and what initially appeared to be a bunch of pairs of sexy size 7 and eight shoes. It only took about 20 minutes to clear out the whole unit. When I get home as I'm going through the junk I find a beautiful pair of diamond earrings and a matching pendent. I took them to a jeweler today to have them authenticated. They are 1 1/2 carats total! Yippy I found diamonds. I sold the broke TV to a repair man for $15.00 (it was pretty demolished). I only paid $50 so it was not bad at all. Lindy is also very pleased with her 6 brand new purses that were her share of the loot. Before the diamond discovery I was hoping that I would make my fifty dollars back by selling the lingerie and shoes on ebay. Upon closer inspection I discovered that the shoes were not pairs, go figure. My theory was that a jilted lover stole one of each shoe and put them in a storage untit for revenge. Brandy thinks that perhaps the shoes belong to a one legged gal, either that or the other shoes were stolen by fairies. I disproved the one legged gal theory after observing that the very sexy shoes were lonely left and rights with no mates. Which still leaves the foot fetish fairy theory, which is possible because I have been missing one of each of my many black clunky shoes for some time now. It is possible that a garden variety goth funky foot fetish fellow broke into our home and chose to steal one of each of my well worn shoes. Why didn't he or she (I'm not eliminating any possibilities!) take both shoes? I just don't know. Perhaps he or she was stealing them for his or her one legged girlfriend. The heels were high but they were clunky and kind of masculine and I do have a rather large foot so a small man could easily have gotten his foot into my shoe. Maybe the culprit has sold them on ebay.