Baby's got back!/ Foot Fetish Fairy

Well Dona, it's not really that I'm energetic. I do like being overweight and all but if my arse gets any larger it's going to have to create it's own religion. My booty has never been one of the places that the fat on my body has chosen to occupy. I was always envious of women with nice rumps. Something about turning 30 or having the fourth kid has totally changed my body/metabolism. It's like the butt fairy came and bestowed infinate blessings upon me. Soon people from foriegn lands will be making the pilgrimage to Corpus Christi to worship my Bo Bo. Speaking of fairies, what kind of foot fetish freaky fairy would come into my grossly disorganized room and steal one of each of my big ugly clunky black shoes? I'm asking you this Dona because if anyone would know it would be you. Nothing else is missing. Not like I'd really know this but the shoes were hard to miss.