Re-training dumb animals/PMS

PMS, Kelly could say or do just about anything tonight and I think it might make me want to rip his arm off and beat him with it. Ordinarily I am not a violent person but I have a severe case of PMS and am feeling rather irrational and argumentative. We had a nice evening in Louisiana and we were on our way home when I had a sudden hormonal shift and instantly almost everything Kelly did seemed to piss me off. The bumpy Louisiana highways made me car sick and I started feeling nauseous. After I barfed in my empty big gulp cup about four times. I asked the oblivious man to please pull over, as if he didn't get the hint that he should stop the car when the hurling first commenced. He said, no I can't stop because we have a chance to make it to Houston before rush hour bla bla bla. He did end up stopping thirty minutes later, possibly only because the barf cup was pretty much full and he was beginning to sense the evil things I was plotting against him in my mind. I was actually going to spill the remnants of my waffle house breakfast on him. Not sure that I would have actually gone threw with it but I was thinking about it. I asked him if I could change the radio station and he said no. I then got ticked off and asked him If he really thought that it was fair that he got to pick all of the music yesterday (8 hours straight in the car) and today. He said yes it was fair because he was the one driving. Then I got pissed off because he wouldn't let me drive. There were a dozen other little things that irritated me today, and really a lot of these things bother me all the time, I just ignore them. I ignore myself. I told Kelly today that he pisses all over my dreams. I wonder why it is that every thing that he wants, and dreams of needs to be sought and fought for with the utmost urgency and he doesn't even think that there is a need for me to have an ambition that doesn't fit in with his plans for his future. I would say our future, but I feel like with him that I just happen to be there. If he read this he would probably say that everything he does he is for our family. He made some dumb ass comment about me wanting to be involved with everything in his life. Of course I had already exceeded my quota on mature responses. So I just said Fuck You, Fine. Do what the fuck ever you want (like he doesn't anyway) Kelly deserves the man of the year award for waking up each morning, going to his well paying job and paying the bills. Because, he does this he deserves to act like an asshole 60-80% of the time.

God continually blesses this man of mine and he just gets more ungrateful by the minute. I wonder if some day God is going to get tired of hearing him pissing, and moaning and being mad at the world and is going to give him something to cry about. I can whine because this is my rant. I know he's my dog, and the way he acts towards me is my fault because I haven't trained him well. Do they have Petsmart obedience training for husbands? Can I read a book and learn effective techniques for eliminating unwanted behaviors. Can I squirt him with a water bottle? Rub his nose in it? Swat him with a rolled up newspaper. (Note to animal lovers I would never do any of things to my actual dog, but he is much better than my human dog) Maybe I should right an instruction manual for him. 1) If you don't give a shit about what I'm doing or what I want to do, just humor me. Pretend to be interested, and that you actually care about my happiness. The spell checker says that barf and fuck ared not real words. I beg to differ, I guess technically the latter is an acronym. I guess I should type it in all caps then. I hate PMS!