The scenery in North Carolina was unbelievably beautiful. God is the supreme artist. The explosion of red, peach and gold hues on the autumn leaves intoxicated my soul to the point that my whole adventure was a whole weeks worth of fulfilled psychic visions. Maybe my brain took a needed break from reality, or maybe my mind started my vacation without me months ago. Maybe it was the rough gems that Lindy and I unearthed blessed by God with some mystical power. (Could be my hereditary mental illness has finally manifested itself)
The first day was spent digging in the red Carolina earth and at the end of the day, Lindy held a ruby colored sapphire crystal in her hand. We are told that it might star when it is cut. We got lost on windy steep mountain roads. Ran off a road, stuck in mud and rescued by a true southern gentlemam with wine on his breath a drawl in his speech and I'm positive that if my daughter was not with me I would have thanked him proper.

Being away from the boys and men in my life reminded me that I am indeed and actually a person that might have another purpose other than to serve them. My husband and family will not be irrevocably damaged if I live for myself a bit. If I act like an actual human being and have an independent desire, is not some flaw that I must crush or feel guilt for. Maybe I have been afraid that if I will not be loved if I am myself. Not just a servant, caretaker, entertainer and lover. Vacations are a good thing. Everyone should take them. I may take my next one alone.

Lastnight Kelly was in a pissy mood probably due to the fact I presented him with estimates for the dental work that the children need. He seems to think that Blaze does not need anesthetic to go along with his root canal. Ordinarily I would laugh but this just pissed me off. But I held my tongue, I didn't say what I was thinking. Namely your an idiot! But before he left for work this morning he ran his hands up and down my body and told me how much he loved me so I decided not to leave him. I am ultra easy to manipulate. You can yell at me and treat me like dirt, just show me some affection occasionally and I'll stick around. Kind of like a dog I am.

Maybe he suddenly remembered that he wanted me to type his new resume today.