Sneaking

I'm sneaking a quick blog. Mom will be here tomorrow and I have accomplished virtually nothing and here I am procrastinating again. I filled up the tub with hot water and watched as the water coursed through the jets and suddenly I felt afraid. I wondered if my mother would even show tomorrow. Maybe she'll call with a good excuse. Then all at once I had a lot of child hood feelings and memories come back. Unwelcome feelings, I started thinking about all those times I would wait for, she said she would come when she never did. I thought about standing in my grandmothers dirt yard holding onto the chain link fence and just staring down the block waiting sometimes for days and my Uncles would tell me to come inside, that she was not coming. I would say yes she is, she said she was. Then they would say she is a liar and I would say no she's not. She would always have some sort of excuse when she finally showed, and I was never mad that she never came when she said she would.
I woke up this morning to the sound an imagined ringing phone. It was almost 5 am, I called my mother to make sure she was up and traveling towards LAX. Her flight leaves at 6:30. Now I am slightly concerned that she still had not left the house. Now if I was a betting person I would bet that she missed that planr but I am not going to call her because I don't really wnt to know that right now,Most likely she will call me at 2pm when I am waiting at the airport like an idiot. She's a little last minute and irresposible, the missing of planes is something that is commen practice for her. I know I need to not be so hard on her.