Surgery is on for the 19th and Introspection Is So Not My Thing

The kidney saga has drug on for longer than a year now, mainly due to my kidney stone and removal surgeries. So if anyone is thinking about donating a kidney please don't think that it is as long a process as it was for me. Most of the time it is just a matter of months and not over a freaking year.



My father made me cry tonight, and yes even though he is not the man that donated the actual sperm that gave me half my genetic material for once in my life I will fully admit that he is the only real father I have ever known. Not always a perfect father but my father none the less. That's a whole nother (is nother a word) it is now. Don't you just love how I am always saying that's a whole nother blog but never actually getting to that other blog. Sort of just telling half the story. Some day...

In fact I have tears in my eyes now as I right this. Even though as I was growing up I really thought my father was a bit of a hard ass,in general, he is not good with confrontation or imposing his will upon me. Unlike my mother (nother blog there too). In fact most of the time when he has directly confronted or questioned my actions on something he has generally been prodded by my mother. She's quite the puppet master or he is just her fool, perhaps a bit of both.



My mother says, "Your father has something he wants to say to you." Then she hands him the phone and you can tell that he is very hesitant to say his piece but he does so anyway. Basically he is adamantly opposed to my donating my kidney. He worries about me he says. He begins asking questions like the kind of questions that you think one would ask sooner (like lets say a year ago when I first announced all this) I found myself justifying myself to him. I told him not to worry and to have faith in God. It was a sad conversation. I felt like a disobedient child. He said he really wished I wouldn't. I was slightly offended that he would even say this to me especially now. He could have said all this back when there was even the slightest chance that I might change my mind. I was intending for this to be some sobby heart tugging bit but honestly I'm not feeling that deep at the moment.

Yang sent me some new magnets, one of them said,"Introspection is so not my thing".

Sometimes I just don't give a flip.

I am tired and cranky and have so much to do before my mother arrives but I am going to lay down and procrastinate because I have discovered that is the one thing that I excel at. Don't think you can unthrown me because you cannot. No one can delay anything more than me. Not even the inevitavble.