I'm alive. (I think I am) I think there for I am or something like that.

Yes I am alive. I have not wanted to write lately because even I am depressed by my own writing. I am kind of in a funk of sorts. It was very odd how it happened really. I was pretty naively content with my life and then all of the sudden I became somewhat dissatisfied. I don't even feel like complaining about it anymore and then there is the issue of feeling selfish because obviously I have so much to be grateful for and here I am feeling this way. I got a haircut and then I felt a little better. I look a little better and vain as I am that always helps. Maybe it's the end of summer. I am loved. I am beautiful. I have family. I have friends. I want for nothing. Well almost nothing. I would like some time of my own but I guess that I made that decision when I decided to get married and have children. Some how I invisioned that I would continue to be me and have my own interests (that I would share with my family). It just has not worked out that way. I feel so consumed by them, these people that I love. Kelly is always going in his own direction and I guess that I need to learn to go in mine. I have traveled with him in his many endevors ignoring the paths that I wanted to explore.