Assholes are everywhere by Lydia and Brandy

Short Stories of my Life

Once upon a time there was a Big Asshole. It was gigantic, puckered in the middle, diameter must have been 6 ft across strangly enough there was no actual ass connected to it Just a head inside.

Wait its not just one head each little crease was infact a head- Okay so the creases weren't that little since it was 6 feet accross and one of the heads appeared to be a red faced irishman but in reality it was
my next door neighbor Max. The resemblence to the irishman was uncanny and considering he is an albino puertorican just a little odd

I invited him over for dinner

He responded rather rudely with "Does it look Like I am in any position to come over for dinner?' If you were a real woman you would bring my dinner to me.

I stood back and looked at my painting taking in the whole picture from a different perspective. It was crude, rude and really not me Afterall I had enough assholes in my life why should I let another one in .

Stepping to the canvas I found the widest brush I had and covered it with giant yellow flowers.

Sold the painting 3 years later for $2000 - titled it "Hidden Assholes of my Life"

Smiled all the way to the bank