Philosophy of Lying

You can skip this blog or read it and dismiss it as only the words dribbling out of the mind of a distressed woman. What defines a lie? A half truth? A creative embellishment, a broken promise. I have have on occasion attempted to define what a lie is and is not, with a little help from my friends. The general consensus is that if you mean something at the time you say it then it is not really a lie. This is in no way my opinion. I think that if you say something and act contrary then it is a lie.
I have been lied to time and time again, I should no by now not to believe a damn thing that falls out of your face.
By definition you are a very honest man as I sincerely believe that you truly mean every word that you say in the moment. The problem is that you are prone to your whims and are easily sold by a good sales pitch. This apply's to all areas of your life. I have on occasion considered myself a real seller but for some reason you are immune to whatever it is that I am selling. You half heartedly appease me and applaude me when my ideas flourish but on the other hand I get raked over the coals and I told you so for every one of those ideas that bloom into something mediocre. You think nothing of changing our lives at the drop of a dime, and I am unsure how I should feel about this.

We went to look at a little house in Callallen, not too far from town. Plenty of room, virtually no neighbors. A big kitchen, lots of cabinets, and the price is right. Once again you sucked me in, I didn't want to get too excited before we signed a contract but you were already telling me everything you were going to do to the place. The kids would be able to have animals. All kinds of pretty little lies. I know you and I know that you are prone to changing your mind I accept and expect this from you. This is a normal part of living with you. You seemed so excited and I was smiling. Because we have often wanted a little room to roam but have been hesitant to leave the city and this would be a nice compromise. I had butterflies in my stomache waiting to hear back from the seller.

Then you got a phone call. A man telling you about a job two hours away from home, more work less money. I didn't see how this could make sense. You'll be gone more, make less money. I was just not getting it. I am kind of slow at times then it fell out of your face and hit me. I finally understood when you said it. You brought up the house and said that I really didn't want to consider this new opportunity because I had my heart set on that house that we don't even know that we'll get. I honestly hadn't even thought about the house. The way you said it, seemed to chastise me for looking forward to something that had not yet happened. Which was funny because just the day before you had encouraged me to look forward to it. So the house thing isn't going to happen, the job thing may or may not happen but I know why you do what you do now. Finally figured it out, you are afraid to be happy. One day you are telling me your dreams and the next day what you are actually doing is whatever you can to sabotage them because you will always want some reason why you cannot ne happy.
The theme of the last month was that you just want to make money and be close to your family. Now you want to get an apartment in another city and visit us on the weekends and for less money even. I really wish you would come out and say it. Just say that you don't love me and that you don't want a family because that would make more sense and I could accept that. I feel like I'm living in an parralel universe with you some times. We were actually in the middle of a conversation about our plans for the future when you got the call. I didn't know you wanted that. Maybe you didn't know you wanted that, so your really not a liar because you meant what you said when you said it, you just change your mind alot. I'm pretty damn pathetic, I just sadly said do what you go where you want I'll go with you. So if you are not a liar what are you? A man afflicted with multiple personalities that are polar opposites from one another? It's a strange trip with you my love. The best means of coping that I can think of is to let everything you say go in one ear and out the other.