Brain Damagement

I am pleased to announce, that I will begin a grammar course next month. With any luck you will no longer be subjected to the shizophrenia that is my punction. Or maybe that is my schizophrenic punctuation. It is something that I have been wanting to do for a long time. I hope that it will help me to write, or at least to convey my feelings in language that is understood by more than just two people that share the same brain cell. I am looking forward to it.
As I was looking at the course offerings I felt tempted to go straight for writing courses but then commen sense kicked in. I feel like this is a good place for me to start.
Yesterday I subjected Brandy to the build up of annoyances and dissapointments that have been brewing in my soul, and as I was reading the things that I was writing I began to think that I had not really made that much progress in my life. Most of my complaints probably are rooted some where in the fact that I have lost my identity as a human being. I continuosly put aside true desires (and not even selfish ones) because they are not convenient for others. I don't know how I have managed to rationalize it so long. B says I have like many women a martyr syndrome and I may, but that is not a title that I really want.
My man got back from his sober boys club and was in unusually good spirits. Apparently in the span of his three hour absence he recieved enlightenment of some sort and came to many great revelations about his life. This annoyed and thrilled me all at once. It annoyed me because he learned in hours what I have been trying to show him for years, and he admitted that he was a selfish SOB and so much more. ( Also annoyed me because I was thinking to myself yes I hear the words but show me the actions.) He also expressed that he did not like the fact that he knew that this was my opinion of him. At times that is my opinion of him but not always. I would not be with him if he did not have other great attributes. In most of my rants (after all they are my rants) I charactarize him as my oppressor, big idiot, having brain damage etc. He is essentially good and always my favorite character, I don't find myself writing about anyone else so often. The age old question why do I care what he thinks, wants me to do? Well duh, I'm freaking obsessed with him.