REAL ESTATE PORN

I've thought of a way to spice up my love life. I am going to talk real estate to Kelly while we are having sex.



Kelly called me yesterday morning, he was in a pleasant mood we talked for an hour and I felt so loved. Then he calls back a few minutes later and we talk some more and he happens to mention that he was looking at the real estate section of the paper. I thought he was just looking to entertain himself as god knows we don't need another project right now. We are about embark on 2 simultaneous remodels, a feat never before tackled by the incompetant real estate tag team that is the Nolens. On approximately call 3, I'm feeling pretty special. I've actually managed to convince myself that Kelly is jealous of Dona and henceforth he will be husband of the year. He doesn't want to suffer the humiliation of being left for another woman and a bunch of goats. So he is going to start calling me multiple times a day to declare his steadfast love for me. Call four he gives me great detail about the apartment complex that he just called about that he noticed in the paper. I notice level of enthusiasm increasing with each phone call. Well I would chronicle calls 5-9 but it was pretty much him about to cum in his pants over these rathole apartments. Calls 1-3 were just to butter me up so that I might actually consider this endevor. Yes honey it'smy dream come true to own a 24 unit flop house oh goody! Just can't wait to evict all the druggies and illegal immigrants. That sounds like a good time babe.
Seeing as real estate gets him so hot and bothered I think I'm going to start showing him pictures of houses and reading him the Sunday Homes while I'm on top of him. I'll excite him with phrases like.
Positive cashflow!
No down payment!
Owner financing!
Tax Sale!
Assumable loan!
Owner financing!
OOOOOHHH OOOOOHHHH OOOOOHHHH 3 Car Garage!