Just how vain am I?

Apparently extremely, although you would never guess this by looking at my slovenly Mommy wardrobe and my general lack of good posture. I am in a pretty shitty mood. I woke up this morning from a whacked out dream and things were going as well as they could. Then my four year old whacked me on the head with I'm not really sure what but it hurt like hell and now I have a nice black eye. My husband caught a trinket that hot rodeo girls were tossing out into the crowd and gifted it to the woman beside him and not me. I felt eyes on me and looked across the crowd and noticed a former lover and even though I realize that I was viewing him from across the room he looked damn good to me and I thought to myself time makes him look better and I look like crap. My family has sucked the ever living soul out of me and I feel hateful at the moment. So I pretended I was pissed that Kelly gave the stupid plastic necklace that I was trying to catch to the fat bitch next to him when I was really disturbed that Casey Jones was looking pretty fine. Not that I wanted him but it seemed awfully unfair to me. I went out of the arena to go find alcohol because I decided this would be a good time to get drunk but unfortunately I arrived 1 minute after they stopped selling it. Well fuck me!