Dear CC,

Can I call you Jerk? Your note made me laugh yesterday. I know it was not meant to be humorous but I could not stifle my giggles when I saw you parked outside my house waiting for a response and I'm glad you didn't linger any longer because I was about to call my whacko neighbor across the street and have him ask you what the hell you were doing. I have a couple of questions for you. Question #1 Are you a moron? I have always considered you to be a somewhat eloquent writer (that was the way you won my heart). I was easily impressed at the time. That letter was pathetic, if it was suppose to pull at my heart strings you really failed in your mission. Helpful hint for your future, if you are trying to beg and whine and illicit sympathy it would be better not to use"take it or leave it",as your closing remark. This doesn't quite jive with the pitiful message you are trying to convey. A better closing statement would have been, please, please, please, I know I have been an asshole to you but I am working on myself. Who cares if it is not true it would have been more convincing. Then I would have only found the letter sad and not sad in a funny way. That's just me though, I tend not to fully appreciate demands from those who are begging favors I am not inclined to grant. But thanks for the funny, I do appreciate funny. Question number #2 Do you have any memory what so ever? Wasn't it you who was threatening me just a few months ago. I am not inclined to feel sorry for you. I have always been more than kind to you. I have treated you lovingly and with respect, and you have paid me back with malice. Even when people that I love have told me what ill intentioned snake you were, I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. You sure did throw the God word around, don't think I didn't see through that one. I resent that you label your failure to uphold your responsibilities as "our differences". This has nothing to do with me. You choose your own actions and now you are dealing with the consequences. I do not feel sorry for you. Be a man, and grow up.