Send in the clowns

Some of you have heard some of this saga already, so bear with me.
Wednesday March 19th:
As some of you know, my son in law was sent to Afghanistan last week. Okay, this meant lots of extra stuff going on here with daughter and grandkids, etc. but that's okay. But, in the midst of it all, I got sick. Trudged through. Then last Thursday I had a doe ram another one, causing the rammed do to kid early. Beautiful twin Purebred Kiko buckling and doeling, brown with wattles. Stayed up day and night to try to convince them to live, but they both died Saturday. Not sleeping for 2 days didn't help the sickness and I kept getting worse. Went to the doctor yesterday - I have bronchitis and possibly a touch of pneumonia. Okay, no problem - get meds, get well.
Tuesday I noticed a first time expectant Boer doe acting odd. She didn't look ready to kid, but definitely was not acting her normal self. Darrel came home that night and noticed this doe's dam was running every other goat away from the expecting doe. (This dam and daughter are totally inseperable.) So, we knew something was up and penned both does up. Thinking all would be well till a.m., I downed good drugs and crashed. Hubby got up to twins - a dead doeling and a live buckling. However, this new mom obviously had no clue and wasn't letting the kid nurse. Hubby had to go off to work, but I thought no problem - this doe has always been the sweetest "lap" goat on the place. Ha!
She wouldn't let me get my hands on her!! I have spent all morning back and forth watching. Never did see the kid nurse, but noticed that one side of her bag is full, full, and the other "deflated" so obviously he is nursing. She let me touch her just long enough to discover the full side is "crusted" over. Okay - I'm going to clean the teat and milk that side out. Again - Ha!
Chasing her around the pen (did it not occur to you, Dona, to just get some grain in a bucket??), I ran head on into a panel we had horizontally over the hut to keep goats from jumping on top of it and out of the pen. Knocked myself out cold. Woke up with my face covered in blood. (Head wounds always bleed like you are going to die.) I now have a nice gaping gash across my forehead and a huge "goose egg." (very attractive!) NOW I think, "Get some grain, stupid!" Doe caught, side milked out, all is well.
A little later, I hear fire trucks racing down our road - Someone was burning pasture and it got out of control. The field directly across the road in front of my house is ablaze! OH LORD! The fire has SURROUNDED US!! There are about 5 fire departments here. This is SCARY! Okay - fire out. At one point there were flames higher than me in the ditch in front of our house. Never want to go through that again!! But, the air was unbreathable here and needless to say all the animals and I were breathing it in. (I'm sure this will be a great help with the bronchitis.)
Darrel came home for a while (due to the fire), looked at my nice swollen black and blue gash on my head and said, "All you need is bolts in your neck and you'd look like Frankenstein." Such a dear.
Thursday March 20th:
Ha ha ha. It just gets better and better. Guess what I just did?? Yep - ran into the same damned panel!!!!!! At least I wasn't actually "running" and it hit just above the current gash/goose egg. Then I accidently let the 6 New Zealand does into the buck pen. Six "no human hands will ever touch me" does, four "AH! WOMEN!!!" bucks, and me, running around a corral. The whole time me yelling, "NO! Don't you mount that doe!!" like the bucks are going to listen. Luckily husband has built a bunch of "catch pen" type gates and areas and I was able to round them up without any breeding happening. I live in a circus!! Ha ha! At this point I can only laugh and stay inside before I mess something else up! Ha ha. I have to quit laughing before the men in the white coats show up!!