Family Adventures

Interesting developments are brewing on the Lydia front. My Dad (biological) called to say that he, my brother Paul and bro's family are driving here from Kansas to see me. Paul is stationed in Kansas, and my father is visiting them from California. They will be here tomorrow. I'm feeling anxious and nervous. I have not seen my brother in nearly 10 years. He was just a skinny little boy when I last saw him in person and now he is a man with a family! Two little ones, a 3 year old Paul JR and a 1 year old girl Serena that I'm told looks exactly like me. My father and I have no relationship to speak of, I barely know him. With the exception of the occasional camping or road trip we did not spend any considerable time together. He was too busy drinking with his war brothers to raise a daughter. He was never really in the picture even when he was. Up until recently I have always had this great desire to really know him. It was only this year that I truly gave up hope of this and accepted him for who and what he was and resolved to not care. Now isn't that how life always is. He is going to spend a week here. I wonder what events will transpire? I look like my father, with my dark features and high cheek bones, brown hair and eyes. It is strange to think that how just 30 years ago interracial relationships were not as prevalent and now they are a common occurrence. Kelly will not be here for my morale. Kelly is slightly annoyed\disappointed that he will be missing this. The original plan was for Dad to visit late May when Kelly would be here. Then there is the small matter of my disgusting abode. I'll be in a cleaning frenzy just as soon as I end this blog.This family visit might just be the adventure that I was seeking. I feel tense. I am breathing and I'm am inhaling only positive energy. I am letting go of everything negative. I am letting go of resentment and hurt. God I am asking you to help me to not be afraid to allow my Dad to see who his daughter is.