Life Lessons & Other Goodies from the Email Bag

As I Mature

I've Learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I have learned tht no matter how much I care
Some People are just assholes

I'cve learned that it takes years to build up trust,
and it takes only suspixion, not proof , to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes.
After that you better have a big Willy or huge Boobs

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others -
they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do
unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first
The Passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house ,
one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken too soon
and all the less important one just never go away

The was one more about the amount of vomit possible but it was just too early for vomit

Grandmas House
We were having Sunday dinner at Grandmother's house.

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When
our son received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Son, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.

"I don't have to," the little boy replied spryly.

"Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we always say a prayer
before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," The youngster explained, "but this is Grandma's
house and she knows how to cook!"