Geesh, Lydia, my heart aches for you! I can soooo relate to so much that you say and it's really hard for me to respond, because I almost always feel like saying something like "RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN"...and I know how completely overwhelming that is... This forum is great for venting, but it is also public, so I am a little hesitant to 'let it all hang out'. I admire you for doing the post-secret thing...and not even anonymously!

One post secret I will say here is that I am secretly glad when the kids go back to Gary's and my life quiets down a bit. But I think some of that is due to financial stress...