The Times They Are A-Changin'
Whew! What a crazy last week it has been! So the boyfriend has officially moved in. And it has been chaos ever since. I knew it was going to be difficult having a new addition to my studio apartment (actually two new additions which would include his lab mix: Guinness), but I honestly didn't forsee it being this hard. First off, let me tell you that I have lived on my own for almost 5 years now. My own place, my own things, my own quirks, my own rules, and my own time. I was definately "set in my ways" so to speak. That has all changed within the last 4 days. My world has been turned upside down. I now have to deal with the fact that their is a clumsy stoned ADHD man who lives with me now. Who is the father of my unborn child. And even though I freakin love him to death, he is driving me crazy at this point! A list of arguments we had this weekend: Friday Night (Date Night): I took him to the Phoenix SUNS game. I sold two extra tickets that I had for 80 bucks. My tickets. I sold them so I earned the money. Well he automatically said, "Well I guess I know who is paying for dinner." Um nooooo. I didn't just make this money so I could spend it on our dinner tonight Mister! And so he ended up paying for dinner and was upset about it. Saturday morning: It's around 9:30am I believe and all is quiet in the house until the boyfriend says loudly while standing over my bed, "Are you sleeping?" "Yes I am sleeping." "Well are you going to get up? Whatcha doing?" "You just have no consideration do you?" I say grumpily "Why should I?" Upon that answer I get up immediately from the bed furious and rush into the bathroom to take a shower. I get dressed and as I walk out the door I tell him, "I'm leaving." "Where are you going?" "To my mom's" "Well I can leave too." "You do that!" I said with my voice slightly raised As I am about to back out of my parking space he sarcastically waves his hand goodbye at me and smiles. I in return, flip him off and speed off out of the parking lot. Of course we have gotten over both these arguments already. But these little arguments are tremendously draining for me at this point. Ugh... How much longer can I put up with this!?
posted by AliceInWonderland at 4/04/2011 03:52:00 PM
4 Comments:
Loving someone is easy, living together id freaking work. My only advice for you is, not that you asked for it is and it is kind of two fold.
1) Always keep in mind that men are very very stupid, don't expect them to easily understand concepts that come easily to you or any random female child.
2) Try and communicate calmly without blowing your top.
Okay it's more than 2 things and I am speaking from experience on this one. Don't do anything for him now that you don't expect to do for the rest of your life or the life of this relationship.
Always remember that he is your DOG and it is your responsibility to train him. Otherwise you will end up with one like mine and by the time you realize what you've got yourself into you won't have the will or desire to change anything. Oh wait, I'm talking about myself.
Take care of yourself Cleo, get some rest.
Well I just have to say that is fantastic advice. I have had many veryvery hard times with mike and trust me more then once he should have had his teeth kicked in. However what really makes it work fir us is
A. Like lydia said do nothing for him. If his socks are on the floor he should be picking them up.
But you must strike a balance and this is were poor lydia and many women are getting screwed. Mike does everything for me. To the point my family has pointed out that I act like he is my slave. But it works like this 95% of my time is spent trying to make him happy. From cooking his fav meal making, his drink to anything he could think to ask. He knows if it's in my power and he asks then I wlll do it. However I know he does the same for me. The other 5% of the time you will be fight or just trying to hide from your growing family. But it only works if you both do it. I will ask mike to get something even if were both already seated and eating dinner. He gets it with out complaint but if he forgot something while up. He may ask me to go. We could have each gone fir our own things but we find more happyness in doing it for the other person. If he is happy he will try harder to make you happy.
Awesome advice from both of you ladies! Thank you so much.
Also, I remember my mom always told me growing up that men are like dogs and you have to train them so not only is that familiar advice, but I also got a kick out of it hearing it from someone else other than my mother.
You know, I have not been reading the blog and I don't think I know who Cleopatra is! Hi!....but I learned a whole lot from this post and thread that I guess I never really learned in my 53 years...thank you ladies =)
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