Mommy Dearest

I do not identify with my mother. Not even a little bit. Sometimes I wonder how she could have even given birth to me. We are about as different as two people could possibly be. I am practical, she is frivolous. She talks, I listen. I talk and she interrupts to say how whatever I said somehow relates to her. I forgive her, she holds a grudge. Yet still like a child I desire for her to take an interest in who I am. She lies to people about my life, like the imaginary daughter that she has created is somehow better than me. I am vain, she is insecure. Though vanity and insecurity may be related. I like my life, it is not perfect. Sometimes it's not fulfilling but for the most part, it's pretty damn beautiful. At times I suspect that she is jealous of me, and that is sickening and perplexing. I cannot imagine ever being Jealous of Lindy. I am so proud of my daughter! I see myself in her and at the same time I see this totally different new person. That really knocks me out. I am enjoying watching her grow. When my mother visited this summer and she tried to impose her will upon and manipulate Lindy, I was livid! My mom keeps asking to take Lindy for the summer. I think not. Oh,yes mother I will give you the opportunity to stunt my daughters emotional growth. Yes, you may repress her and damage her self esteem. Yes, teach her to be shallow and vapid. I don't think so. Yeah I'm a little bit bitter :). I'm working on it. Kelly says that when we feel like strangling someone we should pray for them. My prayer list just keeps getting longer and longer.

Lydia's Bio
Knows herself but is confused by others
chronically inattentive
Loves her somewhat controlling husband (#3) and her 4 beautiful unruly kids
Over analyzes everything
Loves to write
Wishes she could go on an adventure
Prays