I'm a liar, pants on fire.

I'm back, to blog my rant. Don't stone me - B said I had to and we all know that defying Brandy is like asking for bad kharma. I will try to give the Reader's Digest version.
Darrel's daughter, Tracy is a 25 year old single mother of 3. Never been married, oldest 2 by same father, youngest by different guy. The kids are 7, 2-1/2, and 1-1/2. She works full time and admittedly does her best, as she is totally unworldly, naive to the nth degree, and has a 9th grade education. However, she has never acquired, or been taught, any parenting skills. Last Dec. 13th we moved her from about 100 miles away to Anthony, KS, which is about 20 miles away. She was in a very bad situation with the father of her youngest, who she had been with for about 2 years. Very abusive relationship. Anyway, lots of drama has ensued, which we have dealt with both emotionally and financially.
The 7 year old has gotten totally out of control, to the point where I worry about the safety of the 2 "babies." He is VERY abusive to them physically (kicking, punching, out of the blue and for no obvious reason, and even shoving the youngest out a window) and has begun to be verbally abusive to his mother and lately has begun to be fascinated by matches, lighters, and starting fires. (Which makes me realize the title of this blog is wildly unappropriate, but I really wasn't thinking of that when I wrote it, and besides, I'm generally wildly unappropriate myself.)
Anyway, my darling other half tonight began to fill guilty that he has not spent enough time with this child and went on and on all night about how he doesn't want to, but he has to start spending more time with him and maybe he should come live with us....
Here's where the problem arises. I've turned into a basically selfish, self-centered bitch. I know I should embrace this child and help him as much as I can. I know this in my mind. In my heart, I flat out don't want to do this. I raised my child and a couple of stepchildren over the years. My child was the adolescent from hell. I do not want to do this, especially at a time in my life when I feel I can finally live my life for me. As a mother at 17 (no one's fault but mine, I agree) I never had a life that was centered around me. I do now and I'm not ashamed to admit I relish it. Besides the selfish aspect of this dilemna (which I readily admit is a huge part of it) there is the fact that this boy's mother (btw, all 3 are boys) has asked a couple of different people over the last 6 months for help with this child as she "just can't deal with him." Both people have jumped at the chance to be involved, but told her, "You have to back me up. This won't work if I institute rules and then you undermine them." She, of course, agreed wholeheartedly, and then did just the oppposite. If he was told he couldn't watch t.v. for a week, she let him watch t.v. If he was told he couldn't ride his bike for a week, she let him ride his bike. Even after this "back sliding" was pointed out, she agreed she was wrong, but continued the same behaviour. Which has led me to believe she doesn't want to do what it takes to make it right and help this boy onto the right path - she wants someone else to wave a magic wand to make it right, with no effort on her part.
So...what do I do? Do I bide my time and see what happens? I really feel that left unchecked this boy will someday seriously hurt one of his younger brothers and be removed from the home. (Not that I think removal from the home would be a necessarily bad thing for him, but we all know what happens to kids once they become part of "the system.") The 2-1/2 adores his big brother and copies everything he does, and has begun repeating his older brother's favorite line to their mother - "I hate you." Not good. And a shame, as the 2-1/2 year old is really a sweet, loving, gentle soul when his older brother isn't in the vicinity, and a joy to be with.
Do I tell my other half, my soul mate, my reason for getting up every day that I want no part of this and damage our relationship forever? (Which is, between you blog ladies and I, exactly how I feel when I'm being totally honest with myself and not trying to be something I'm not.)