Obviously my last blog was pure fiction. Not that my real life has not been that exciting really it has been and in so many unwanted ways. I keep wondering what it is that God is trying to teach me. Some mystical lessons that do not reveal themselves until after I have lived through them.
Brittany is with her GP's. A civil judgement declared that was what was in her best interest,but it is not all sad news. I got to hold hands with a deliciosly handsome fireman today. He gazed at me as he removed my wedding band. Well something like that anyway, he was actually cutting my platinum wedding set off my swollen finger. NOT FICTION. I wish it was, my finger is sore, I got it caught in a department store door, bent the band quite a bit. Swollen finger that resulted in the trip to the Fire Station. I tried soap, windex, oil, soaking in ice water, taking motrin and holding hand straight up. Then started to freak out and consulted the internett, where I learned that the fire department has such a handy tool for just such occasions. Also lost a diamond. Boohoo! Would rather have lost 40 pounds. I went to Kelly's sober people meeting to hear a speaker. The man had a really honest story to share but he spoke in such a monotone voice that it did not hold my interest, as a nervous habit he kept looking at his hand. I was positive he may have written his notes there. Kelly asked what I thought of the speaker and because I am a shithead I said he needed more jokes and shared my thoughts about the note hand theory. Since Kelly is incabable of providing wit he shared this with others and of course it lacked my delivery or maybe it wasn't really funny but no one laughed. I pretended that this bothered me but secretly I was delighted. Brandy bought me Irma Bombeck books, I need to steal her shtick. I could be the Irma Bombeck of the new millenium or not.