Going back to Cali

Knock Knock who's there, me the idiot. Okay I did lose something in Cali. I've lost alot of somethings there. So I'm getting on a plane and going to the city of my birth. I'll just be driving through though. I have a funeral to attend. I've rented a car like an adult so my parents don't have to pick me up. They'll be busy grieving. I am going to be there for my father, he has lost his father.
I will be there for him. I knew this was coming, just didn't know how fast. I didn't really know the man. He did not particularly like my mother which is sad because she ended up being the one to lovingly care for him during what would be the last year of his life. His son, that was not his favorite, my stepfather was the one that helped him keep his dignity and allowed him to be the King of his castle til his dying day. He was not ever my grandfather, we were just some kids that came along with the package when his son married my mother. I don't feel any particular loss but I do grieve for my parents. I think I am missing some basic human empathy, I don't really view death as negative. The loss for the living is what is indeed sad. There are some losses that I do not want to imagine. I cannot fathom losing my children or my mate. I do not want to know what that particular feeling is like. I had a hard enough time losing my Rebel, and he was only with me a few years.
To me each loss is a reminder of other losses. I barely remember Lindy, I remember the loss and the lack of her in my life more than I actually can recall an abundance of memories involving her. She is like a dream now, and alot of it has melded together with the passage of time. I have pieces of her still, parts of her are with me. A part of her is me. I have her freckles, I have her quirks, I have her namesake.