I briefly considered starting a blog to chronicle all L's crazy but then I though better of it. That doesn't mean that I still might not do it. I have done many things that I have thought the better of. It has been an especially trying time with L. It is emotionally just so exhausting. One day I am declariong myself a one year old at a cake smash and the next week I am just so tired. I am so emotionally connected to her and even though I am typically a great fan of rollercoasters. This one is no fun. It's like a rollercoaster without a seat belt or proper restraints and you are always fearing the next loop. Holding on so tight. So I only woke up with the slightest hint of a headache, a ghost of a migraine. I don't always express my emotions in the proper manner. There are a lot of things that I do not do properly. I am not a proper person.