SELFISH Lydia

I have a new plan for my life. I'm going to pretend that I really am a single mother. I'll have the perks of Kelly's income and I can use him for sex occasionally. Sounds like a good plan to me. Forget the not caring philosophy. This is the I really don't give a damn philosophy. Kelly and Katy stopped in during their date and Katy made fun of the way Lindy stuttered right in front of Kelly. He didn't say anything so I told her how rude it was to make fun of the way people speak. Maybe I should have just said nothing and explained to Lindy that Katy hates herself and likes to take it out on others. That kid can't be nice for 15 minutes, it is just not in her nature. So what's the new plan for my life going to be like. I have no idea. I have no clue, sounds just like my old life. I thought I might intrude upon Brandy and ask her if I could paint at her place but then I thought that by the time Kelly gets back it will be too late. I need a drink! I need two drinks! I might just take off for awhile. Go to a bar, a bookstore, anywhere! Sunday lunch with my hard of hearing (yet lovely) father in law is just not cutting it. I'm twenty-nine years old, yes I have four kids but I'm not freaking dead. I'm going to go downstairs. Shower. Put the outfit that makes me feel the best on. Make up. I'll go have a few drinks. Buy a book. Go grocery shopping. Maybe this is fantasyland. Maybe it will happen. Lets face it, Kelly has zero time for me and not much for the kids. I have lots of time for everyone but me. SELFISH Lydia has been born out of necessity.