I'm sitting here in front of a blank screen waiting for inspiration but it's not coming. Apparently no one has done anything to piss me off lately. I remember a time when I would write about a good feeling, the color of the sky. The sound of the birds chirping in the morning but now it seems as thoughthe only time that I can get myself to write a few sentences is when I am feeling irritated or annoyed with someone or something. I guess I could write about my issues. I miss my father but only in the same way that I have always missed him. He is suppose to be moving here in July. He plans on buying a big house or so he says. I never have really believed much of anything that he says or at least not in regards for his plans for the future. While I love him, as I've gotten to know him recently I realize that he's not all that good of a person. Not capable of a real relationship. That subject is too old and sad not going to go there. When I went to be with him while he was in the hospital this summer after he had his stroke I was afraid that he might die, but more afraid that he might die before I got to know him. Then I realized that I do know him, there just is not that much to know. Most peoples lives are molded and shaped by past events but he is continually living in a past that is so dark.
Bla Bla Bla... Sometimes I can't remember if I've written these things before or if I've just thought about them. I'm positive that this is not a money making essay. It could be a book. Possible titles, MY FATHER THE WAR HERO, DADDY YOU SUCK, BLAME MY PARENTS. I'm feeling kind of crappy today.


I am going to Chuckie Cheese tonight and I am honestly looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to seeing the look of delight on Rangy Roo's face. When I was in the hospital, he told me to tell his daddy to take him to chuckie cheese so that he can eat pizza and play games. Kelly has a hard time unserstanding Ranger. At first I thought I was special because I alone understood the Rangy language. Ranger is actually pretty easy to understand, it's just that Daddy does not listen like I do. Kelly brought me lunch, a microwave meal and I'm feeling nauseous now. Carrs baby powder air freshener is bothering me. These are unsuitable working conditions. So what if I'm being paid to do virtually nothing. I should be paid more to have to smell this nasty aroma. If I knew how to disconnect it I would. I want a Cocacola. The end.