Still an addict

The only thing that stays the same is the fact that life is always changing. I read a sign today that said that if you want to hear God laugh that you should tell him your plans, and life can change so fast that it takes the wind out of you and brings you to your knees. I know this and yet I forget it all the same, I grow complacent. I slide away from God little by little until I am completely absorbed in my selfish nature.

I wanted to talk to an old friend today even though I know that this person is shit for me. I am using my better judgement but I have come to realize that as smart as I may think I am that deep down inside I am just really an idiot. Even if I don't give into my stupid nature, I have stupid thoughts all the time. It's like I am constantly fighting against my inner loser.