2 weeks and counting

Transplant on March 9th getting closer all the time. I am about ready - Condo has been rented and paid for check in is scheduled for March 28th where I being the Death Chemo. Or as my Doc says with way to big a smile, The mother of all chemos. Its weird I have made it through 2 chemo sessions with hardly a blip I am still working though I scare small children at the mall with my masks and gloves. And I am scared of the last wave not so much the chemo though 7 days of death chemo cant possibly be fun. and its not even the transplant that scares me as that's just little bags of red koolaid leaching into my body. Its that 50/50 chance that the graft won't take, which is worse than it trying to eat me cause eating me they cab control its not fun but can be controlled but not taking is a death sentence, since I will no longer have the ability to make anything by myself. NO blood, no white cells no platelets and no time.

I cant imagine the end but I cant see past it either. so instead I plan for the worst, pray for the best and cry whenever I think of something I may not do again.