the life of the nuetrophil Deficient

Long long ago when I was training to become a literacy tutor for adults I had to take a hard look at how I thought about the non reading population in the world. I always figured if you couldn't read it meant you didn't read books and couldn't spell. It was until after going through the program that it hit me that these people cant read groceries, street signs, a medicine bottle. And there I learned how devastating not mastering that one little thing could be. They weren't stupid, Some were even millionaires they just never sat down and learned the code for reading. It was a life I couldn't imagine having been an avid reader since I was 4.

Cancer is a lot like that, You hear about chemotherapy, In transplants you hear about immune suppression to keep rejection levels down. But until you live there you just cant quite understand it. When you are born you are gifted through your mothers blood supply with an amazing amount of antibodies and a perfect new little body specially made to fight off the little things in life. If your mother breast feeds you are gifted with continued protection while you grow. From birth on every cold, flu, cat scratch, upset stomach, and other ailments you get cause the development of antibodies to protect you from every getting that particular strain again. The reason you only get chicken pox and measles once and also the reason that people who are generally healthy and don't work in group environments tend to get fewer colds and such as they get older. as least until the virus or bacteria mutates.

By the time you are 40 you have immunity to a vast array of common disease that lives in our world on an everyday basis. What helps develop these immunities and the front line in disease control in your body is a little cell called a Nuetrophil. Of which you have millions running through your blood stream at any given time on the lookout for any invading substance. Kind of like pac man eating the dots of disease. For pic go to wikipedia where the info below was gathered. The most common place you will have seen these cells is in Pus. that lovely yucky eater of infection.

A little science for ya

a neutrophil count of 2.5-7.5 x 10 to the 9th power/L is a standard normal range. Neutrophils are the most abundant white blood cells in humans (approximately 10^11 (10,00000000000) are produced daily) ; they account for approximately 70% of all white blood cells (leukocytes). The average half-life of non-activated neutrophils in the circulation is about 12 hours. Upon activation, they marginate (position themselves adjacent to the blood vessel endothelium), and undergo selectin-dependent capture followed by integrin-dependent adhesion in most cases, after which they migrate into tissues, where they survive for 1–2 days. Neutrophils are much more numerous than the longer-lived monocyte/macrophage phagocytes. A pathogen (disease-causing microorganism or virus) is likely to first encounter a neutrophil.

Low neutrophil counts are termed neutropenia. This can be congenital (genetic disorder) or it can develop later, as in the case of aplastic anemia or some kinds of leukemia. It can also be a side-effect of medication, most prominently chemotherapy. Neutropenia makes an individual highly susceptible to infections. Neutropenia can be the result of colonization by intracellular neutrophilic parasites.

Exciting wasn't it - My neutrophil count today was .7 a week ago it was absolute zero. In not scientific terms what this means is the one piece of lettuce can kill you!!!!!


Without living through it you can't understand the handwashing, the pill taking, the mask and glove wearing. The constant fear that you are going to touch something you shouldn't.

People who know will attest to my incredible lack of houscleaning skills, My running around barefoot in all forms of goo playing with molded paper clay that is so rank you have to breathe through your mouth to use it and sharing food with just about every animal known to man. And I never got sick, for years and years and years and have a most awesome immune system because I have played inthe dirt and the germs for soooo long. Now I do practice good food safety and will not cook in a dirty kitchen but beyond that I am not the clean soul. Have been know to eat at restaurants and live in houses most people would not consider habitable.

And then there was chemo. and no more neutrophil, not a a few less - none - zip - nada. Where you must wash your hands every time you use the toilet or possibly die and don't forget to wipe down the seat when you are done and forget completely about sharing with someone else unless they are goingto disinfect after every use. Different rolls of toilet paper, hands peeling from the sheer amount of sanitizer. not being allowed to open a door eat at a buffet or touch anything that hasn't been wiped down unless you are wearing gloves and if you are wearing gloves the you must always remember that if your eye itches you must go remove gloves because they are now contaminated and you cant touch any part of your body with them particularly eyes mouth or nose. the wash then disinfect and then you can scratch.

And food - there is no fresh fruit unless it is think skinned and scrubbed and disinfected and then people by someone else of course cause you can't touch it. A salad becomes a bed of unimaginable death and fast food well suffice it to say that you must take it home and re-nuke it before you can touch the hamburger bun recently slapped together by your average food handler. And children - my doc calls them horrid little bags of germs. And husbands - the other day I made a grave error. I kissed my husband on the lips - We both forgot - Then had to run to bathroom and disinfect mouth. There is no sex, clothes can be worn once and must be washed. I could go on and on and on, with all the little things like not being able to visit with or touch or hug and kiss my grandaughter without us both in gloves and masks, she is much cuter int hem then I.

And there are perks like not being allowed to do dishes or laundry but then I didn't usually do those anyway.

Like the reading you think that it is the big things that will get you someone with a cold a flu and yes those people are deadly, but they are also fairly easy to avoid with proper glove and mask use along with constant washing of the world around you. But its the bacteria you live with everyday that is most likely to kill you.

Prior to learning I had cancer I found out I had gun disease and I only learned I had it through a sheer fluke. there had never been any pain, swelling or other evidence of disease, but apparently the evil bacteria had been eating the bones and gums that hold my teeth in place for years unnoticed.

I went to the dentist did all that he told me and had been working for 3 months prior to the cancer diag to rid myself of the bacteria through various means. An I had done good the dentist would have like to still pull a few but if I kept up the regime I could keep my teeth. Then I lost those little neutro babies and what was a painless bacteria that I had lived with for years unnoticed, became a full fledged and painful infection requiring 2 days in the hospital and 10 days on IV antibiotics. It was a joy.

Most recently - like last night I made goulash nothing exciting, hamburger, noodles, cheese and tomato sauce. All cooked well and then nuked again for safety once they were on my plate. No garnish and not a fresh vegetable or piece of fruit to be had. At 5AM this morning I awoke in the most horrendous pain I had felt since childbirth. My stomach and back felt like they needed to explode and I spent the next 6 hours sticking my fingers down my throat and eating and throwing up various things to try and help yogurt antibiotics juice. Finally I killed whatever it was and it wen t away. No one else eating the food had more than a pleasant burp of enjoyment.

After the transplant I will have new blood making power and fresh new nuetros, but they wont really be mine and unfortunately they have to kill them off before they grow so that they don't eat me. Cause that's the problem with transplants they don't like being in new bodies they think they are evil and they do their best to kill them sometimes. So to help you adapt they just turn of the marauding eaters of germs with various steroids until the new dna takes a firm hold and your blood cells can become confused and think they are home. During this 100 day period everything is deadly. I don't get to be in the same room with my granddaughter or any child in the public school system. I don't get to eat lettuce or touch doors and all the people who are being kind enough to take care of me have to obey stringent rules of cleanliness. Lucky for me - I also get to lose every antibody I have every gained in my life and every bug I have ever had can now kill me. Talk about having a target painted on ya. On the plus side after 2 -3 years the new dna will be integrated enough that there will be no more problems and I most likley will not have to take suppression drugs for the rest of my life. If I am really lucky because I have such a close match I wont have to take them after the 100 days - 6 months. People who receive organs take them forever and live in constant fear of Death from a doorknob or head of lettuce.

So on March 9th this year as you are praying for me because yes it is National pray for Brandy day on MArch 9th, For those dedicated to my survival - fasting and constant prayer and sacrifices for 10 days until the 19th hoping for an early and non deadly engraftment are encouraged and allowed. I don't have to know you feel free to sacrifice yourself on my behalf. Because the better the engraftment and the cleaner the transplant the shorter time it will be until I have nuetrophils again. And can once again enjoy the little things in life like lettuce and tomato on a burger or kissing babies and lets not forget that all time favorite sex.

It is almost cruel to be hairless with no shaving and not get sex. God is laughing way tooo loud. And I would really like to know why it is that chin hairs and mustaches grow back first on women, I mean really isn't bald bad enough.