I am bad at a few things, housekeeping maybe #1

I don't know if I am bad at relationships but I feel lonely a lot, even though I am surrounded by people most of the time.  I really was attached and dependent on my connection to my ex, and it appears he was not....it's taking me a long time to get over this one and move on.   Meanwhile I am diving into my songwriting and cleaning my space up, going through crap I should have gone through ten or fifteen years ago (which is actually interesting and has unearthed some fun things).  I guess I tend to shy away from people since I am around them all the time at the studio and it's RIGHT HERE so I have to separate myself spiritually and not let it wear me out.  Dealing with the health crap has taught me that.    I am interested to hear Brandy and April's test for 'does he really care about me'...could you elaborate?

I do think it will be difficult to find someone for me
A. I am a slob and my house is bizarre place half dorm/half storage
B.  I am not going to put up with any controlling bullshit or pushy behavior.
C.. I have herpes (ugh)
D. I work too much and have little free time that is not taken up by grandbabies, music or Mishytime