God helps those who help themselves

Okay Lydia. I admit Kelly has a problem and yes you are doing very good at the hormonal insanity that plagues all women but the first step in any process is to be honest with yourself. I love you to death and regardless of what I am about to say I want you to live with us on the old lady farm. But there comes a time when you have to become responsible for your own happiness.

Kelly's problems are that he doesn't really like women particularly strong women and he is very leery of women smarter than he is. And on the other side of that coin he likes women alot for all the usual male reasons but he wants to be in control.

Your problems are that it is easier to accept his condemnation of you than it is to do something about it or face the conflict that is going to be required to get you over this hill. I have no doubt your relationship can be saved but you are going to have to be the one to do it, because most men just hide and ignore things or bitch until they can no longer stand it and wake up one day with some other 23 year old that they can control better than their wife.

First off quit pretending to believe that you are stupid. Just because you have a different take on life than Kelly does not mean you are stupid and I would bet to be honest that you score higher on an IQ test than he does. I know what you scored on that IQ test and here is some national averages from some other place besides me. Maybe this will help you believe. Please note that you scored higher than college graduates in this country and higher than the average for 80 countries involved in the study. So for Gods sake get over the your not very smart thing. We all know better even if it is easier to pretend you don't. And when you passed your loan test with no problems no one was surprised but you.

Average IQ Score in US and 80 Other Nations

Next thing you need to admit to yourself is that you don't really lack focus you are just bored with the things Kelly wants you to do. When it is something you like to do your sense of focus is fine. (IE your volunteer and charity work and your work with kids.)Find what you love in life and quit just existing.

Last and most important don't you think its time you take charge of your own life rather than dangle on the end of kelly's string. The role of Martyr is one women play well but you will hate yourself for doing it even this long in 5 -10 years.

In this area things I am talking about are things like.
Get the fucking door handles fixed on the car. You are a big girl you can spend 30 bucks on your own and get this taken care of. You even have offers of help for installation so you have no excuse other than the fact that you like to use it against Kelly. And then there is the air conditioning in the car. Again Get it fixed. Need a ride for you and the kids back to the house so you don't have to wait at the mechanics with the kids. Well you know all you have to do is ask and any number of friends including myself would be glad to provide this service. You don't need Kelly's permission to do these things. You are his wife not his child and remember Texas is a community property state which means techinically you own half of what ever he has so I don't think anybody is going to think you evil for spending on things like door handles and air conditioning.

And finally to the housework, If you don't want to do it and you can't bring yourself to practice child slavery. Hire a damn maid. You can find someone or I can give you the number of a girl I know for $7.00 and hour you can find any number of people in this town willing to clean your house. I have two little girls that would do it for you also. Tessa and Natalie would both work. This means for $21.00 a week you could get somebody for 3 hours to clean whatever you wanted. And while it may take a month to get everything ship shape and begin to work on a deeper level of clean at least it would get done and you wouldn't have to worry about it. We are talking $84.00 a month here. Don't ask kellys permission just do it. When he comes home next time an the house is clean it will give him one less thing to bitch about. And maybe you can even find more time together to work on other issues you two have.

Prayer is great and should be practiced on a regular basis but

GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES