Creative Parenting

Whenever my children have committed offenses that they will not readily admit to I have often employed a little known but highly effected trick of the trade. Note unless your kids are particularly naive this technique is only effective till about age 8 or so. Unfortunately after this point they start to wise up. My parents used a variation of this method on me and it worked longer than I care to admit. I know that many of you dear blog readers might believe that DNA testing is only useful in the crime solving and paternity arena. If you are a parent of a stubborn child that would rather die than tell the truth this new use for DNA testing may just come in handy for you. Especially since your local Walgreen's, CVS, Eckerd, (insert any local pharmacy name here) has started carrying those results in 15 minutes DNA tests. My eldest son Blaze was about t o cry after learning that yet again another one of Walgreens DNA strips had caught him red handed trying to torture his sister by offering her a cup of lemonade that smelled suspiciously like, well I'm not going to say. Just imagine something else that is liquid and yellow. The worst part about it was that he was going to have to pay back the cost of the DNA testing with illegal child labor. Ever since I implemented the new rule that if you force me to resort to DNA testing because you won't stop lying and the results of the DNA test implicate said child. The guilty party will have to pay Mommy restitution for the cost of the DNA test. In any case I was about to start gloating for cracking yet another case when my husband walks up and calls me an asshole and hugs Blaze and tells him that I'm a compulsive liar. He then goes on to tell me that the reason my kids are such smart asses is because I am innapropriate and immature. Well I took a pole and everyone involved agrees that my actions were nothing more than a stroke of genius creative parenting. So I encourage all parents to employ this technique, and for those of you that are not yet parents you may want to keep it in your files. Who knows when it might be of use to you.