Defeated

I am feeling very worn out and defeated after this weekend's events. 

Awhile back I confided in my mother and told her that I was planning on trying for full custody of Ri this year (2017). She seemed worrisome of this decision even though she has told me on numerous occasions that she hates Ri's father, Ric and has said that he is "messed up" or wishes "he was out of the picture". Her attitude should have brought up a red flag, but I thought she was just being her usual moody self.

Well last week Ric and I got into a heated argument over her dicussing her religious beliefs with Ri. And instead of her just confessing to her mistakes of continuing to bring up her religious bullshit to my daughter, she instead texts Ric notifying him of my plans to take him to court this year to try and gain full custody. And when he responded with, "You need to stop now and realize what you're doing!" she replied with, "I was just warning you about Alice... I thought you might want to know... maybe I was wrong. Sorry... I don't want Alice to get custody/take her away from us." 

So somehow in her sick little mind she has the right to teach my innocent 5 year old daughter her religious beliefs as well as have some sort of custody over her and now she doesn't want me to have custody at all! I'm so completely hurt and appalled by this. I have been through a lot with my mother since I was a child well into adulthood, but this definitely takes the cake. I can't keep rationalizing her horrible behavior anymore just because she is my mother. I can't just let it slide anymore. I can't just keep quiet about it and act like it never happened. 

All of this has truly brought to my attention that she has not "grown up" over the years and changed for the better at all. She is still the same crazy mom that was feeding me lies when I was a child. Still the same crazy mom manipulating me as a kid. Same controlling sadistic woman I knew growing up.

For this reason, I have chosen to no longer speak to her unless absolutely necessary. I will no longer put up with this abuse anymore.