If you like animals better than people

It means that you prefer to deal with an intelligent species.

If you want to hear things you wish you had said take April out with you one day. She grew up listening to me, dona and another friend Cathy with all the things we wish we had said. Gives me the shivers and makes me want to melt into a wall at times with what is coming out of her mouth. This is a trait she gets from her father. Les has been known to comment on people in public which usually also makes me want to pretend I am not with him. Things like, "Did your mother raise you to be fat rude and stupid" Usually said to large person not looking where they are going or doing rude things like cutting in line in front of his pregnant daughter. From what I understand he carried on a rather long rampage over some stupid woman at home depot the other day that basically pushed April out of the line so she could be next.. Said person was Mexican and did not speak English so I doubt she understood everything he was saying to her and it certainly didn't make her move any faster. Thankfully I wasn't there. His other two favorites are "Do I look like I need your fucking help" when in a hardware and approached by some cute little boy in an Apron. And the always favorite telephone skills. He firmly believes it is rude to ask who is calling so he will not tell who he is but he will tell them,"If I wanted you to know who I was I would have told you" or "Is it any of your fucking business" Needless to say there are reasons we don't take him out in public much. And believe it or not he has mellowed in his old age. Now I operate on a completely different method, since brute force is not my strong point. I just make people want to do things for me, Mainly men, by being nice to them, kill them with kindness is my motto. As for the little boys at hardware stores I find one on the way in and make him push my cart around and show me where everything is. They become my personal shopper until I leave. To me this seems so much more civilized, but then Les never Claimed to be civilized.

In order to deal with Katie peaceably you need to learn a couple of simple rules. First the kill them with kindness works on bratty children also. However in order for it to be effective you must learn and practice life's greatest secret. What is the all important secret that will save you hours and hours of grief. Are you sure you want to know because it is very powerful.

Okay if you insist..... Quit caring, Yes it is that easy, this doesn't mean be rude or passive aggressive and it certainly will save you from those migraines, it just means you accept the fact that she is going to be a brat until she grows up and you quit caring. Accept her for the brat she is and then you can have some fun.

Killing with kindness is my other favorite, not to be confused with giving or presents, treats or in anyway altering rules. No matter what she says or does be nice. Be disgustingly sweet nice, the nicer you are the more belligerent she will get until she realizes she can't fluster you anymore and she will quit. May take a few months. But you will be amazed at how much personal gratification you will get from her confusion.
This also works on Men. One of my favorites is when men get to controlling and stupid you just drop to your knees start bowing and going yes master. After which they feel like idiot and shut up or at least go elsewhere to regroup and leave you alone.

Other tricks which also work are the lectures; My children have them numbered in their minds for any situation. Now a lecture to be effective has to cover all bases and must be brutally honest, you must ground your lectures in facts. Honor and guilt are good things to use to be more effective. And feel free to actually use personal things. My children were never allowed out after 11 even when they were 16 or 17 years old. It didn't matter, my ass had to go to work and I shouldn't be required to suffer stay up late and wait for them. You will here the lifetime excuse of Mom you don't have to worry just go to bed. This does not work, You are responsible for their ass until they are 18, If they screw up and get in trouble you the parent will be the one paying for it., If they get caught drinking and driving in today's world this can even lead to the possible removal of your other children and no they can not stay out. Use worse case senarios make them long and drawn out. A good lecture should last for at least an hour if not two. Bring in anything historically or legally relevant as this also teaches them history and law and government. Do not let the child sit and roll their eyes take them for a walk in public where they have to look attentive or be seen as not cool because they are in trouble. This gets a much more animated response.

And last but not least you are the grown up who gives a shit what the kids wants. Be honest she wants you dead and her parents back together, since it is not going to happen quit caring and letting it hurt you. No one else can hurt you are responsible for your own emotions and reactions, they can't bother you unless you let them.

Oh yah, remember to laugh, preferably right after the child has given you an ultimatum. Make this long rolling laughter, Laughter after all is a great way to start the lecture where you tell the child in no uncertain terms exactly what you think of their present attitude or predicament whichever the case may be.

Okay it has taking me two days to write because I have been trying to find a way to sugarcoat it. But honestly Lydia are you fucking nuts????????? If I had won a trip anywhere to only question in my mind would be when is the plane leaving. I would never consider asking Les' opinion or approval. While I admit I have done a lot of stupid woman things in my life (This blog is not long enough to list them all) I have never gone that far (Okay well maybe I have in other ways but this is a family blog and I can't list them here, besides they would just piss me off). Kelly not wanting you to go is one of the most selfish ass backwards things I have ever heard.

Lets take a look at his excuse: Because you had been in the hospital. If I remember correctly you ended up in the hospital for so long because you were pregnant and left home alone to deal with 3 kids multiple rentals, bills, etc...... In other words you were fucking exhausted and needed a vacation. Kelly telling you not to go had nothing to do with your health it was merely a control factor and it was a mistake on his part. Does he not realize the amount of good sex and other goodies a wife is ready for after her husband sends her away for a few days to stay at a nice hotel with no responsibilities, I mean really he didn't even have to shell out money. For an all expense paid trip to New York I would probably even clean house and cook (at least for a few weeks)

I am astounded that he did this even more than I am that you would agree to it. Women do stupid things for men all our lives. We bitch about it but and then wonder why our daughters get stuck in the same type of relationships. I know I told April different but I didn't show her different and for that I am ashamed of myself. We have to start, we are the mothers we have the control and are capable of turning out boys who understand how we feel, and what honor and truth and love really are. But we have to teach them. You can't leave it up to daddy because to be honest most men don't have a clue. They don't even know anything about themselves much less women.
We have to change.

I love men, I love my husband but the sad fact is that while I would miss him terribly if he were gone I am no longer willing to give up parts of myself for his happiness. In that regard I just don't care anymore.. You told me the other day that you are afraid of Kelly. I may be wrong but I would guess its not Kelly you are afraid it is being alone. Alone with the kids the bills and the uncertainty. I discussed this with Les who said he should "A Mans Guide to Marriage" should be humorous reading if nothing else. He said the funny thing is you have nothing to be afraid of , Kelly loves you and he is in way to deep to get out now. Do you know what it would cost him to leave you.

So do what you want, takes his feelings into consideration but don't keep giving up your dreams and other parts of yourself because if you do you will end up hating him in the end and when menopause does hit (Dona is right about this) and you mind out the true meaning of moodiness it will not be pretty. Believe me, I am not joking about crying for two years wondering while I ever considered getting married and having kids when all they do is suck the life right out of you. I told Les one day I was considering suicide because at least then I could rest. He smarted off with just don't use my gun. I replied of course I would use his gun in his bed so that he would be inconvenienced as much as possible. I turned into the evil bitch from hell and I meant every word. Now I manage to only go 2 or 3 days being really pissed before I tell him what is wrong and amazingly enough he still hasn't left, the world has not fallen apart. Indeed it has actually gotten better and I am much happier and even glad most days I didn't leave him or off myself.