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So Kelly goes over there and tries to get the guy to apologize to me. The neanderthal is not even a little bit contrite and in fact is really loses it, goes postal and whacks Kelly on the head with a two by four, Yvonne's husband Andy the blackbelt had to go over there and put a serious hurt on them. We'll probably be sued, I had to bale Kelly and Andy both out of jail (Yvonne was going to leave Andy there). Kelly got depressed and went and got drunk with Andy at a topless bar and we up until 30 minutes ago we hadn't seen either of them since yesterday. While they were out boozing it up Kelly's skanky 22 year old girlfriend called she was concerned because he missed a meeting. I told her that she could come over and pick up all his stuff. I changed my mind when she got here and told her that if I ever see her near my husband again that I was going to arrange for her disappearance, I also told her t hat I was going to tell her parents, since they apparently attend my church. Then I picked up the phone and pretended I was talking to them. So she picks up one of the blocks around the mesquite tree and chucks it at my van's back window. I started laughing my ass of when it bounced off and onto the windshield of her little peice of crap car. I should have ran inside or called the cops but instead I just stood there in shock and awe like a dumbass. She picks up another block and I'm about to be concerned when my neighbors rush over and tackle her to the ground. She starts yelling get off of me I'm pregnant. At which point I start to feel my lunch come up my throat, and I really have no idea why since Kelly has had a vasectomy. They are still holding her down while I am searching for the church directory to call her parents. I couldn't find it but then remembered that dad is a CPA so I called his office and got him, he didn't seem too shocked, he asked me to keep her there and please not to call the police. They stayed on top of her for the fifteen minutes that it took Daddy to get there. All the while she's yelling get off me you fucking beaners, Kelly is going to kick your ass,He's gonna kill you. He hates you, he's gonna buy your house and kick you out. I go back inside and the kids are still watching cartoons so I make myself a rum and coke and sit on the swing and just stare at the mad girl. Kind of sympathizing with her but not too much. I don't know why but I then told her that Kelly went to a topless bar yesterday and got drunk. So when daddy gets there she's pretty much just sobbing. He called a tow truck for her car and apologized profusely, said that he was taking her to Padre behavioral. I informed him that she possibly might be pregnant. Then her Dad starts yelling at her and calling her a whore and a slut and telling her that her life is over. I begin to wish I called the police instead. As soon as they are gone, I just started to cry. The kids finally came down stairs and my neighbor sends her teenage daughter over to babysit them so I can have a my nervous breakdown. I didn't really feel like having a nervous breakdown right then so I drove to brandy's because nervous breakdowns are always better when you are with those you love. When I pulled up I noticed that two cars were in the parking lot and decided to just go home but first I stopped by home depot and bought a couple of quickset lock kits, and I'm laughing while I'm installing them. Kelly gets home about 5 minutes after I finish up with the locks and lil kel opens the door for him. Instead of asking why the locks are changed he asked why all the glass is outside. I told him that his psycho girlfriend showed up here and broke out her own window at which point Kelly says, "What girlfriend" He genuinely seems confused. Just keeps denying that he even knows this person. I'm not really sure what to think at this point.

Time To Say Please

Ranger and I are crazy about Mo Willems and time to say please is a very cute book that adults and children can both benefit from. I myself sometimes forget about the P word.

I dropped by the house on Scotland to see how the work was progressing. The workmen did not appear to be there, there was a truck blocking the drive way so I parked on the grass. I hesitated to do so for a second but then remembered that I had seen Kelly park there before and went ahead and parked there against my better judgement (for some reason though it did not feel right), I did so only because my allergies are killing me and I was feeling to lazy to walk any farther than necessary. I saw Yvonne outside of her house, and of course since she is my favorite tenant I went over to her house to talk to her. The previous day her husband had called about our contractors filling up there trashcan with construction debris and to inform us that they had brought a dog with them that was crapping all over their lawn. (Their house is right next door to the one being worked on.) I asked Yvonne if everything was okay now and then the topic drifted to the children, energy conservation, and how much she loves the house. A man walked up and said that the guy working on the house was going to want to park there when he got back, and I told him that I would move in a minute. I just said matter of fact, and went on with our conversation. A few minutes later I hear a man say, "She said that she'll move in a minute" Then I hear a rough loud voice yelling, "Move your car!". I turn around and say excuse me, hoping that he'll recognize me as the owner of the home. He yells, MOVE YOUR CAR! So I walk towards the car and say, I heard you say please right, and I'll move it since you asked so nicely. Then he yells, Is this your house? Then I say Yes it is, I met you the other day when you were working at the house on David. My husband is Kelly. This is the part where any sane man who enjoys getting paid 15 dollars an hours says sorry. Apparently the man is a raving psycho cause he just goes on about how dare I request a please. In fact questions the that I'm even Kelly's wife. I say goodbye to Yvonne and then go into the house to check on progress. (Yes apparently since I am used to freaks yelling I found no danger in doing so.) This really pissed the dude off, he informs me that he called my husband about the incident. I said what incident, and then he goes off on the please bit again. This is the moment when I recognize that I am dealing with a Dumb Fuck so I just say later and walk out. Kelly is over there talking to the jerk now. I am slightly concerned. I asked him to take Les with him. Which probably sounds kind of silly but I thought it would be prudent. Maybe he should have just taken a copy of time to say please.