Beautiful L (Can't you see the resemblance?)

Who else votes that she should stop dying her hair red?

Alexander Skarsgard is L's father

L asked me if I thought Dad would care if I wallpapered my room with pics of Alexander Skarsgard. I said that I doubt that he would mind but that I would definately get made fun of. Then I revealed to her that Alex is her Bio Dad. She was completely pissed off, as if I had just ruined all of her 14 year old sexual fantasies forever. I'm still laughing about it. Who's yo Daddy?!

Proceed with extreme caution

I did a backround check on an acquaintence lastnight, my daughter was sitting on the couch beside me. She asked me if I usually run the criminal history of all my friends. I guess friends was really the key word there, the friend category is not that big a pool.
As a rule no. The thought has rarely crossed my mind, however if I have a reason to I might. Generally these days I am quite cautious especially where my children are concerned. Not that a lack of criminal history means anything. It could just mean that you are very good at what you do. Mostly I rely on instinct and it has served me well except on the couple of occasions where I have behaved completely and utterly ignorant. In those cases there was something that was motivating me to ignore the reality of the situation.
Today I find myself examining my motives. Everyone has motives, be they innocent and just motives they remain. The word sounds sinister. I am one of the most selfish and self centered people that I know. That's a pretty big admission.

I swear that I am not making this shit up

I went fishing with my K and the boys today. I am not particularly interested in fishing but it has dawned on me that this may be the only way that I will be able to spend any time around my husband outside of the house. It was not too bad, I got a little too much sun. K even invited me to fish with him tomorrow night, well he did anyway. The invitation was canceled a few hours later when he decided that he wanted to go fishing with a friend tomorrow during the day rather than in the evening with me.
We went to Academy to purchase sunglasses for the boys. Lil K needs adult size glasses because his head is rather bulbous for a 9 year old or for an adult even. Any way I found a pair that I really liked for lil Kel but they did not have a price on them. There were a few other pairs like them and they were all were unmarked. I went and found a scanner because just my luck the pair I want is always the most expensive. They ended up being 88 cents. I was pretty amazed and since I liked them so much I decided to get a pair for myself. My tight ass husband made the comment that we were there to get glasses for the boys and him and not me. I said to him," you do realize that these are 88 cents right?" Then he gave me a smart ass well we aren't shopping for you. I swear the man was completely serious. So I said fine and put them back. That is pretty much what i do every time I shop with him. He only enters a store with me if it is to get something for himself and on those outings I am highly discouraged from making any other purchases whatsoever. For some reason I decided to inform him that not only was I not getting the cheap glasses tonight but that when I did get a new pair I would be spending a lot more than 88 cents on them. You should have see the man hold onto those glasses. It was kind of comical really. He even bought me a 7 dollar strap for my 88 cent glasses.

K and the tax guy are lovers (maybe)

K has an appointment to do our taxes at 11 am. He calls them his taxes even though we are married filing jointly. He must call them his taxes because he is the one that is employed. He calls a lot of things his that he should call ours and it is no personal slight on me. Ours is simply not a word that is in his vocabulary. This morning I decided that I would like to go with him. So that he would not be surprised when I headed out the door with him I casually mentioned that I would be going with him. His eyes got a little wider and he asked me why I would want to go. I got the feeling that he did not want me there. K values his alone time. You would think that being absent from our home over half the time would be enough but perhaps not. He has made an extra special effort to spend time with the family and by family I mean his two sons and his good buddy. I think that I have just begun to realize that K is not opposed to home or family in general it is me personally that he is displeased with overall.
Living even half the time with someone that does not like you is not a pleasant experience, and even worse is living with someone that does not like themselves.

I used my influence to get my Uncle to kill himself and two others just so I could go to Disneyland (NOT)

I was hesitant to write anything because I was not sure that the blog was working and we all know how I need an audience. Even if it is just a few people that read this. I was afraid that I had broke the blog. Apparently since Cleo was able to post it is working after all. The time is about 6 am right now and that is a little earlier than I have risen in quite awhile. It is actually closer to the time that I have been falling asleep lately. Due to some extenuating circumstances in my life I have become a little bit emotional lately. IF someone breathes on me the wrong way and I will probably cry. That is how it feels right now anyway. For example yesterday I called K to ask him to pick L up for me, I had kind of spread myself thin and while it was not impossible for me to pick her up I asked for help because I needed it. K ended up picking her up but not before yelling at me a few times in the process. I tried to remain mature and calm while on the phone with him. That had me crying, and then he was pissed off at me when I got home. Apparently because of the expense of my recent CA trip. He makes it seem like I was on vacation instead of to attend a funeral. He claimed his anger was because I had spent too much money on the credit card while I was there. Other than gas I rented a smart cart for my luggage, bought a snack on the plane and spent about 100 dollars on school clothes for L and a pair of converse for our youngest son. In reality he is just upset that I left period. I was gone for 8 days. I would not have known that he was angry as that is pretty much just a big part of his regular personality but he was in a rare communicative mood. Which is good I guess. I was sitting down on the couch next to him, I had just kissed his face and was trying to get close to him. I felt bad because he had become upset earlier over the picking up L thing and I wanted to tell him thank you for doing it. He wouldn't even look at me, and that is when he without looking at me announced how mad he was over the money I spent. Since I went to CA nearly a month ago all I could say was that I was sorry that there was nothing I could do about my past actions. I guess I could have tried to justify my position but sometimes it is just not worth it.
It is important to stand up for yourself but sometimes, when you know who you are dealing with - you just have to back down.

Friend or Foe?

Now do I have a story for you!

I have been thinking about this a lot lately and just can't help, but to put it all down in writing. So I was dating a couple for a few months. Then we broke up and still remained friends with benefits. That quickly passed because I had wanted to move on in the dating world. They both said that they were having a hard time with it, but that they did understand and still wanted to remain friends. Well it turns out they find out that I am dating someone else and the man in the relationship decides to make things awkward and just stop talking to me without any notice. I figure okay, I suppose he doesn't value our friendship afterall. I guess he was just in it for the piece of ass. Well at least I have my best friend still. That unfortunately didn't last long either. After a great night out with her and some other friends she starts avoiding me. So after about a week of this I confront her and ask he if everything is okay. Turns out she is having a hard time dealing with me dating others and that she just needs space. I ask her if she still wants to be friends and she insists yes. Another week or two passes by and her birthday is coming up. She text me the day before her birthday to let me know she is going out, but no invite. I say have fun. She says thanks. And I haven't heard a word from her since. So much for still wanting to be friends...... If you couldn't handle being my friend like a normal person you should have just said so instead of leading me on and then dropping all communication. No closure. No nothing. And they wondered why I didn't open up to them too much because I had a feeling they were going to be flaky like this...