McAfee's SureBidAuction. Online Marketplace.

McAfee's SureBidAuction. Online Marketplace.

Okay all you auction sellers and buyers. You know how hard it is to get good names on any site. Well here is your chance. Brand new Auction Site with a whopping 19 Users. Just about any nickname you can think of is still available.

I know they are small but Ebay started out small too and it was just a few years ago and having been with them since thier beginning I can truly say they have not gotten better with age. They are bigger but they have done nothing but make the site more cumbersome for the last 2 years and it seems like everytime they post a profit they raise the rates.

The new auction site still uses a single page seller entry form instead of waiting for Ebays 5 pages to load. They have a .50 cent Listing fee and no final value fees. Even if you just sell one item a week you will be helping bring competition to the marketplace.

Be bold and pick your User name at this new auction house now.
And tell them Dragonlady sent you.

God helps those who help themselves

Okay Lydia. I admit Kelly has a problem and yes you are doing very good at the hormonal insanity that plagues all women but the first step in any process is to be honest with yourself. I love you to death and regardless of what I am about to say I want you to live with us on the old lady farm. But there comes a time when you have to become responsible for your own happiness.

Kelly's problems are that he doesn't really like women particularly strong women and he is very leery of women smarter than he is. And on the other side of that coin he likes women alot for all the usual male reasons but he wants to be in control.

Your problems are that it is easier to accept his condemnation of you than it is to do something about it or face the conflict that is going to be required to get you over this hill. I have no doubt your relationship can be saved but you are going to have to be the one to do it, because most men just hide and ignore things or bitch until they can no longer stand it and wake up one day with some other 23 year old that they can control better than their wife.

First off quit pretending to believe that you are stupid. Just because you have a different take on life than Kelly does not mean you are stupid and I would bet to be honest that you score higher on an IQ test than he does. I know what you scored on that IQ test and here is some national averages from some other place besides me. Maybe this will help you believe. Please note that you scored higher than college graduates in this country and higher than the average for 80 countries involved in the study. So for Gods sake get over the your not very smart thing. We all know better even if it is easier to pretend you don't. And when you passed your loan test with no problems no one was surprised but you.

Average IQ Score in US and 80 Other Nations

Next thing you need to admit to yourself is that you don't really lack focus you are just bored with the things Kelly wants you to do. When it is something you like to do your sense of focus is fine. (IE your volunteer and charity work and your work with kids.)Find what you love in life and quit just existing.

Last and most important don't you think its time you take charge of your own life rather than dangle on the end of kelly's string. The role of Martyr is one women play well but you will hate yourself for doing it even this long in 5 -10 years.

In this area things I am talking about are things like.
Get the fucking door handles fixed on the car. You are a big girl you can spend 30 bucks on your own and get this taken care of. You even have offers of help for installation so you have no excuse other than the fact that you like to use it against Kelly. And then there is the air conditioning in the car. Again Get it fixed. Need a ride for you and the kids back to the house so you don't have to wait at the mechanics with the kids. Well you know all you have to do is ask and any number of friends including myself would be glad to provide this service. You don't need Kelly's permission to do these things. You are his wife not his child and remember Texas is a community property state which means techinically you own half of what ever he has so I don't think anybody is going to think you evil for spending on things like door handles and air conditioning.

And finally to the housework, If you don't want to do it and you can't bring yourself to practice child slavery. Hire a damn maid. You can find someone or I can give you the number of a girl I know for $7.00 and hour you can find any number of people in this town willing to clean your house. I have two little girls that would do it for you also. Tessa and Natalie would both work. This means for $21.00 a week you could get somebody for 3 hours to clean whatever you wanted. And while it may take a month to get everything ship shape and begin to work on a deeper level of clean at least it would get done and you wouldn't have to worry about it. We are talking $84.00 a month here. Don't ask kellys permission just do it. When he comes home next time an the house is clean it will give him one less thing to bitch about. And maybe you can even find more time together to work on other issues you two have.

Prayer is great and should be practiced on a regular basis but

GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES

God answers prayers

There is a such thing as a low carb Margarita. Not as tasty as it's many carb sister but good enough for a girl trying to shed some unwanted pounds. I miss Kelly I really do. B please send Erin an invite. I don't have her e-mail. I keep giving away her cards but I never keep one for myself. I'm assuming that she left one with you. She is due for a call from me anyway. I have not spoken with her lately. I'm not afraid of her seeing any dirty laundry. She's never seen me nude though. I don't think that anything that she would read here would shock her. She already knows the dirt on Lydia. I'm rather fond of most of my dirt anyway. There is no shame in my game. I need to give up on a natural tan. I'm going to throw in the towel and go to the tanning salon. My legs and butt are white and my arms have a farmers tan. Yeah it's true I'm not a very good student of the don't care philosophy right now. I am however a good student of the hormonal mood swing philosophy. B your right about Kelly missing the scenery. This is one of the things that bothers me the most. It's all about the scenery! Even inattentive Lydia takes the time to take it all in. I need to pray more. God knows what I need. So I'm praying for God's will in my life and I am thanking God for making me his child and loving me and guiding me each day. I am thankful (in no particular order) I am thankful that I am capable of calm and gratitude. I am thankful for the frogs on my windows. I am thankful for low carb Margarita's. I am thankful that my husband is an exceptional lover. I am thankful that he has overcome his addictions. I am thankful for my healthy intelligent children. I am thankful for my animal and human friends. I am thankful for the blog.

I care infinitely what Kelly thinks feels etc. Can't say I feel that way on everyone's account though. Yes, I will try to drag  my dearest one into the counselors office. I will have to find a new counselor because Kelly is not comfortable with the one that I am familiar with. I like her though . So glad that B got to meet Erin. She is an Angel and I adore her. I do not have many friends but I count her among the few. I have learned a lot from Erin and I don't think that she will ever even know this. I would love it if she would write with us. I would like to get to know her better. I think that perhaps the readers of this blog may know me as well as anybody. I am as honest with myself as I can be when I write. Even when it is not all roses. I am not an enigma.
  I bet that Erin Hanna does not know that she in an round about way changed my life and helped me to be grateful and to be less self centered. Three years ago my little Blaze could hardly put two words together. The audiologist said that he most likely had some sort of nerve damage and that he needed extensive speech therapy. The school district evaluated  him and said that due to his speech delay and articulation problems that Blaze was eligible to go to Headstart. Blaze began Headstart and soon after we realized he had been misdiagnosed and a simple surgery that placed plastic tubes in his ears seemingly instantaneously corrected his hearing deficit. Speech therapy and Headstart worked wonders for the boy and he took off like a rocket. For this I was immensely grateful, I spent time volunteering for Headstart painting and doing crafts with the kids at Washington Headstart. (This is another story altogether). The  following year Blaze went left Headstart to go to Pre-K but I felt a need to stay involved with that particular center. The beginning of the next year I asked the teachers at Washington if all the children at the center were properly provided for as Washington Headstart is located within a very impoverished drug infested area. Ms. Rios mentioned a family without mentioning a name whose home had recently burnt down and that were in need of assistance. I left my phone number for the family. I asked Ms. Rios if she would give them my number and she said yes. I asked if she had at a later date and she said yes. I never received a call and I thought it was just as well I suppose. It was near Christmas time when Ms. Rios called me to seek help for this family. It seems that their six week old infant girl had died. She suffocated while sleeping on a couch with two older siblings. I took this news very hard and I called my church to see what help we could offer them. I was feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt for what I do not know. Perhaps for my inactions even if this did not seem logical this is how I felt at the time. I felt that I could have helped this family and some how this precious child would still be alive. This is the first time that I ever talked to Erin. So from that point on I try to do things a little differently in my life. I try to be a little more active and less passive. I have learned a lot from experience and from listening to Erin. I am thankful for Kelly as he is very compassionate and generous to others. So thank you God for my Blazy and his amazing intellect and for Kelly and his willingness to share what we have with others and for Erin who is a wise everyday Angel.

Contrary to popular belief

Wives are not there for husbands and boyfriends to abuse verbally or physically. Now if women could only get this through their thick skulls. Hello this is intelligence knocking. Tell the pain in the ass to behave or get out. But no, we revel in our neediness, in our desire to make our life be one that makes men happy. We use our magic to craft the universe daily but we craft only for the desires of others. We ignore ourselves, we devalue our very beings to build this world and yet all we get for it is a kick in the ass and why isn't the house clean. And for that we are grateful. We are such silly asses at times.

Lydia you and Kelly definitely need counseling of some type or at least an honest(scary thought) Conversation. You need to drag all the baggage out and let it fall where it may. Kelly is not that bad a sort I think he has just had to many mommies and doesn't know what to do with a grown wife, with God Forbid a mind of her own. I am most positive that early on he saw you as the lost little girl he was going to save. Lost little girls are never supposed to question their new masters and they are supposed to be sufficiently in love and awe that their mans every wish is their desire. Which they of course fulfill happily. Now this is a role I am sure you can play and maybe even enjoy more than your current one. But the problem with this little fantasyland is that you have 4 kids you have no choice but to be competent and after days on end by yourself up to your elbows in diapers and nursing and dinners and school and school projects and rental house and loan officer school you have very little time left to be the little lost girl. You also don't care about the house which is one of those little girl facets that men don't think about when they are pursuing such individuals. So you can't find your keys. Who cares, did you miss the part about 4 kids. I don't have any kids and I can lose my keys anytime and I don't even use the damn things so its not like they moved. I have been known to lose lighters without ever moving from my position on the chair. It has taken days to find said lighters before. I think this is a backfire of my magic or God just likes to play tricks on me. And while my husband has laughed at me and spent many moments crawling around on the floor looking for said lost items he has never suggested that this trait might be linked to some form of adult ADD, And I certainly never thought of it. Don't you dare drug yourself to keep your husband happier. If you want to take drugs to make you happier,(Read Prozac etc..) go for it but don't drug yourself with pschoactive compounds that turn you into a person you are not just so you can try to live up to someone else's standard of who you are.

But then I don't believe ADD really exists, I believe different people do different things and travel at different speeds through life. Lost keys are not a symptom of anything except being human. Tell Kelly to kiss your ass and that anytime he wants to spend two weeks at home with 4 kids or even 2 you will be glad to compare the house and children at that time.

You worry way to much about what Kelly thinks. Do not let him define who you are. Actually you worry too much about what everybody thinks. You are falling behind in the doctrine of who cares. You are obviously someone put on earth to raise children and animals and watch frogs on the window. Did you really need more and if you do do you have any doubts that you are capable of achieving what ever you want. I don't.

Kelly's biggest problem is that he doesn't see what is passing him by while he is hurrying to get where he is going and since you never arrive where you are really going in this lifetime until you are dead he is missing all the scenery on the way by.


Okay I am done, For now. Onto other things. Met Erin today she came in to take care of the girls storage payment. Very nice lady and recipients were very grateful. I told her about the blog because I try to mention to all women I meet and might like but it is up to you to invite her to join if you want. I am used to airing my dirty laundry in public which is of course why all the people I consider friends are writing on this blog. They have all Seen me naked before so dirty underwear is no big thrill. So if you want to invite her to blog I can tell you how to invite or I can do it for you with your permission of course. I am the God of the Blog but I am a benevolent and understanding God. If not I will never again mention this discussion. Really it didn't take place and you haven't read anything. Please return to your TV set to calmly watch static while slowly going out of your mind. Lots of other semi to really major stuff going on in my life mostly bad but I can't yet share these items publicly as they are not primarily my concern and while I am often willing to bare my naked truths I try to avoid bearings others' as they are heavy and all that naked truth stuff gets sticky in the heat of July.

PS Thank you for giving me someone elses problems, other peoples pronlems are so much better than our own.

Communication Problems

My skin is clammy, my fever has broke. Some interesting yet sad turn of events. I wanted to have some meaningful communication with Kelly and I told him that I did not understand why he has to hang out at the Mortgage Assistants when he was home couldn't he do the things that he does there here. He said that nothing would get done here. I reminded him that he is gone half the time and that when he is home he really isn't ever really at home(well except for on the weekends). I told him that honestly I am feeling very left out. Of course I got a lecture about the fact that he was trying to get somewhere and of course I just kept thinking to myself that this man just doesn't get it. Then I got to hear about how I cannot be a part of anything because what I can be trusted with is limited. He said he would never trust me to pay the bills because he would be afraid that I would screw them up. Of course he brought up the stupid tile mistake.   I feel sad that this is what he thinks of me and I wonder why he would have chosen to be with someone that he regarded as so inept. Here's a little analogy for you. I once had a friend that owned a lawn care and cleaning business. He said that he purposely hired people with low intellect because he found that he could keep those employees the longest and pay them the lowest wages. Maybe Kelly thinks that incapable people are easier to control and since he is a control freak he of course married me. I don't see myself the way that he sees me though. Yes I misplace my car keys in the house a great deal. Never lost them outside the house. Never lost the car. Never lost a child. He yelled that he was not going to let me sabotage this! Meaning exactly what I don't know. I think that we need counseling and I'll suggest it, yet another way that I will be diverting his attentions from the master plan. Kelly is sick. I only tonight just realized this. I think that it bothers him a great deal that I am often times so inattentive. I think that he believes that  if only I just tried I could change. I don't like losing my keys all the time, it is frustrating. If I could remember to always leave them in the same place I would. I wish that I was not so easily distracted. I think that I will try taking some medication for my this Attention Deficit of mine. I will have to wait until I am done nursing the Rangy Roo.

Lydia is a big fat whining baby!

Dear Kelly,
  I have no patience for you at the moment. You hurt me tremendously on a continual basis over the most trivial of matters and if I were not so fearful of being a single mother with four children than I would run far far away from you. It baffles me that you are so kind  and genial to others but you save your wrath for my witness. For me alone when you know that no one is looking. It is hard for me to know exactly where to begin. I was so ill yesterday and yet you made no effort to be home to care for the children so that I could rest and at the end of the day you accomplished nothing of great significance. It was almost as if you stayed away longer because you knew that I needed you. I don't know why but I some how expect that you will be there for me when you can. I picked up the supplies for the tile job by myself even  though I had a fever and was feeling miserable. I don't know why I did it, perhaps because you asked me to. I almost abandoned the mission as Ranger was crying and I felt weak and dizzy but I thought to myself that you would appreciate this. I wrote down and read the list in front of you repeating the amount of tile. Imagine my surprise to hear you yell at me that I had fucked it up as usual. I asked why you had even asked me to go as you knew I was ill and to that you replied, "because I am color blind." That was really a good one! You should have said because I didn't want to do it and the more of my crap I can get you to do the better because you are a lazy housewife who does nothing that benefits me whatsoever! So I'll pile all my little crap on you Lydia so that I can torment you when you screw it up. You are a big stinking baby! I'm lying on the couch with a fever and you yell at me over forgetting a few boxes of tile (though I did get the exact amount that I was told to).  Kelly you are an asshole, essentially you were yelling at me because this meant that you would have to go to the Home Depot (2 minutes away) grab a couple boxes of tile on the way in(they are outside) proceed to the self checkout. Wow a whole 10 minutes of your life will be wasted due to my negligence. I also want to know why you have to make things hard on me? I asked you if you could please pick up some wormer for Iris and Rebel while you were already at the store and you said I don't think so. You seem annoyed that I asked. Why are you so opposed to doing something nice for me? Instead I had to leave and get some as soon as you got home. When I asked you about this you just act dumb and say I didn't know what kind to get. You act like a jerk and then you make excuses for your behavior.  

Okay I'm done with my imaginary letter to my shit head husband but I am sick and feel like complaining. I feel so sorry for him, he is constantly waiting to point out my flaws and I'm afraid that I do not make him wait long. I am so human. I do not think that he likes me very much. He doesn't watch the frogs on the glass like I do. I've read a few books this week, some Anne Rice that Brandy loaned me. It's nice to read a book in bed when you are sick. Kelly keeps complaining and saying that I should be reading his real estate books instead. I laugh and remind him that he reads all kinds of evil things. He told me that Anne Rice was sick and that I shouldn't put those things in my mind. All this from the man that likes reading the biographies of serial killers! News flash Mr. Nolen, Lestat the vampire is not real but Ted Bundy the killer of innocent women is. So he wants to tell me what to read, this is definitely a new wrung in the ladder of control! He says things like why don't you read something that can make us some money? I think I'll tell him that I plan to start a new religion (for profit of course) and that I am studying Anne Rice purely for educational purposes. Bravo for Lydia, Kelly just called to ask if I'd be well enough to purchase light fixtures tomorrow and I said that i really don't know. Then I said that I thought that he could probably pick them out as well as I could. They aren't going in my house so I really don't care what he puts in our rent house. I would like him to hang the ceiling fan in our bedroom that he bought me for Christmas as this December that will be three years ago. Can't think of anything else that is bothering me at the moment.
  

China musings...the beginning and middle...

I traveled to China for two weeks, expecting to study with Chinese master artists, and learn something about their pottery and clay-art techniques. It turned out I learned so much more, equally as valuable in terms of it’s affect on my teaching, and my life. When I think about my incredible trip, and all that I saw and learned, the biggest impression, was the people, their friendliness, charm and comfortable nature. The art, the architecture, the food, the landscape, all were so very beautiful and so different from our western culture in many ways. They live quite differently than us, but the people seemed to have hearts of gold and be giving and loving.
We started in Shanghai, where we visited the Shanghai Art Museum and spent a few hours there. This museum has so much to offer that it would be interesting to spend a day or two and really see everything properly. The ceramics collection was case after case of "Ah HA!" and "I have to videotape this too!"…which you can see in the tapes I brought back. Incredible ancient Chinese ceramics collection…and a very cool museum shop too. Prices, we noticed right away, were very cheap, even in classy shops like the Shanghai Museum. While in Shanghai we also shopped in a market, with many shops and stalls and some prices were more expensive than the museum shop, but haggling is normal, which we did with a calculator or a piece of paper to circumvent the language barrier. Two nights was barely a taste of what Shanghai has to offer, what a huge city, we dubbed it city of "buildings on steroids".
Next stop was Jingdezhen, porcelain center of China where we saw a contemporary, working porcelain pottery factory and also visited a living museum showing the ancient techniques and production. We shopped at a pottery market, mostly porcelain, toured a porcelain museum, and visited a master artist’s porcelain studio where we saw demonstrations by three different artists, showing their techniques of painting on unfired porcelain vases. Then each of us chose a vase or piece, to paint on, using their oxides and left them for firing overnight. Delivery was the next day, just before we left the city. We watched them glaze our pieces, for single fire, their normal method of production. We all enjoyed massages during our stay here, I had a wonderful foot massage for four dollars, from a very cute, sweet 20-something Chinese girl.
We took an overnight train to Suzhou, with a cabin sleeper, very fun, and not uncomfortable. Suzhou is a silk area, and known for it’s beautiful gardens. We visited a garden, and had a wonderful tour. We also toured a silk factory, and learned how silk is produced and made into the beautiful things sold in their large shop. The group enjoyed shopping and purchased silk items.

btw, Lydia...

Btw, Lydia - send them to Brandy anyway. I paint absolute CRAP with this program, and yet Brandy sees something in every one that I would never have seen until she pointed it out to me. Oh...to have a mind like hers!!! Okay - we'ld probably end up in a sanitorium, but I'm sure it would be a pretty one with lots of green grass and piles of sea grass and wicker to weave. That ain't so bad! (and there would probably be lots of frogs and toads to examine....)

Toads, Frogs, and Princes....

Hmmmm....All this deep talk of life changes and tadpoles. Do we see a theme here?
B - I tried to tell you that when you become a grandparent life becomes something totally different than it ever was before. I could never find words to express it, and never believed it when other people talked about it. It's something you have to experience for yourself to ever understand. Suddenly, all that "dumb, archaic crap" that you heard about becomes a reality. Lydia - if you think being a parent is wonderful - just wait! I envy Lydia,, as I think she has found it much younger than I ever would/could. Life IS seeing the difference between toads and frogs. I think it's the most basic similie for what we are supposed to learn before we are allowed to move on. Brandy has told me for months, and now I totally agree...Lydia, you are to come to the ends of the known universe and be one of the "old women in the woods" with us. I promise it will be boring, but never dull. Somehow, I think you know the difference.
Brandy and I got way too damned philosophical tonight, and I intended to blog it all. But, somehow it has already left the brain cell we share, (which has somehow magicallly now become commmunal), and seems totally unimportant at the moment. Suffice it to say that life is grand, even when it sucks, and I hope all the blog ladies of all ages dream of magical moments and life on the edge.

You can't blame a girl for trying...

Brandy, it was a great effort on your part. My appreciation for the effort and time spent can never be expressed. Unfortunately, I have read the novel, (always read an SK novel, never see the movie) and seen BOTH versions of the movie enough times that I didn't need sound to read the bunnies' lips. (It doesn't hurt that my grandmother was born deaf and I grew up reading lips and signing - even if bunny lips only go up and down.)
You have picked a bad time to challenge me. I am uber-gramdma today. Three days with the children of Satan and you can't phase me. I scoff at attempts to ruffle me. I laugh at your bravado. I sneer at any attempt to sway me from my path to deception and doom. I quiver with glee at anything thrown my way.
Okay - I buy an Uzi and go postal on anything that moves that is under 10 years old.

Sunday Musings

Ah the times of our lives. We flow inward and outward like the ebbing tide. One day the water is clear the waves calm, the next day you get sucked into the undertow. And so much of it is so senseless. We hurt eachother, we live in fear. fear of life fear of resposibilities but most importantly fear of failure. Failing to live up to the image our loved one carry for us. Failing to live up to our own expectations. Finding out our being is not what we have been telling it to be for the early parts of our lives. Finding out that there is more to life than greatness, Finding the magic in small everyday things. The smile of a child, smell of spring flowers, Lying naked in your backyard pool reading and soaking up sun. These things cost nothing and yet they are great treasures. Why don't we teach our children that.

Twisted Tortured Artist (but not starving) And Animal Lover

I am so thankful that my family may never have to rely on my art to pay the bills because although art has a lot to do with perspective I must say that at this point in time I really do suck. I played with the twisted brush program (Brandy made it look so easy) and other than a few odd pieces that may be appreciated truly only by those under the influences of mind altering substances .Nothing substantial or even whimsical was created by Lydia. We went to PALS (Pets and Life Shelter) where Blaze chose an energetic little male cat. He's Black and gorgeous! I tried to persuade him to chose an adult female that reminded me so much of my Moo-Moo kitty that I choked back the tears and it felt even worse when the kennel attendant told me that she had been there an awful long time and that I was welcome to take her free of charge. I wanted to so badly and silly as this may sound she has been in my thought s almost continuously. I even hatched a plan to convince my 21 year old nephew that he needed a cat and of course I was going to offer him a lifetime supply of kitty litter, cat food, and vaccinations to take her in. I was talking to Lindy about this and she came up with an even better one. She told her father Charles that there was a cat at the shelter that reminded her so much of Moo-Moo and that she had to live in a cage and that she was a sweet wonderful cat and could she please please have her. So if Moo-Moo II is still there on Thursday she will be Lindy's cat. I have my doubts about the ex's parenting skills but feel that he is at least capable of rearing a cat. If she has already been adopted than we will all be really happy because that is all we really wanted for her. My  Moo-Moo cat was the only animal that ever inspired me to write a poem in her honor. I called it Sandpaper Tongue. I considered bringing her home and declaring that she was indeed my Moo, but Kelly isn't that slow. I could have acted shocked if he asserted that this was not my long lost cat. The kids would have known better but I'm sure they would have played along without even being prompted as they are cat lovers also. I want to do something cool for PALS like advertise for them or pay for the adoption of one animal each month. I really want to volunteer there and I am welcome to but I need to figure out just how I will do it. Maybe I can organize a pet adoption day at the mall. Maybe I should just deliver cat food and litter when ever I can. Rebel Weenie whose devotion is almost an annoyance came from PALS.  I feel that I am some how indebted to them. Maybe I should stand outside animal control with a sign that reads. Loving animals are destroyed here each day because people refuse to spay and neuter their pets, but then I would have to hold up my sign for everything and it is hot outside and I am lazy. I am lazy and sickly content to complain and take no action. Our pastor intern said something to the effect that we are an activist church. Maybe some times we put our money where our mouth is but this is a far cry from activism. We perhaps have one activist in our entire congregation. I was about to go on about him but always easily distracted I have changed my train of thought.
FROGS! I have just witnessed what is probably in at least the top twenty
animal\ nature experiences that I have ever had. First a little background info as I may never have mentioned this before. We have so many frogs and toads around here that it is almost unreal. I find a frog on my car nearly every day. Sometimes I do not notice the little frog on my truck until I'm at HEB or somewhere else and I then have to rescue the little hitchhiker all the while marveling at how Kermit managed to stay attached during the ride. The difference between frogs and toads. I recently asked the Brandy this question and I think that she said that Frogs are the ones that look neater when they are squished on the road. I think that is what she said anyway. While  I do not know the exact clinical or technical differences these are my observations. Toads are fat and bumpy, they have short legs, cannot hop very far, move sort of slow, they all with the exception of size look about the same (at least the type around here do) The smallest ones are kind of cute but the big ones gross me out. I've seen then nearly as big as a softball! They do not seem to have any fear of me. Toads also have a sense of humor, there is this one giant toad for instance that has a well developed sense of humor. He somehow figured out that he really grosses me out but that I am basically a good person and I would never let any harm come to him. So Mr. Big Ugly Toad waits until I come home from some errand in the evening and I am not paying attention and jumps on my foot right as I am about to open the door. Then he laughs as I shake him off my foot. If  I do happen to be paying attention then he just tries to get in the door while it is open. More than once I have had to coax him into a plastic bowl with a serving spoon. I use to pick him up with my bare hands but he would pee on me every time and he looked like he was enjoying it.  Now the resident Frogs around here they are something else. I have yet to see one bigger than a quarter. They are lithe and long legged and they can hop quite fast and far in comparison to their small size. The frogs that I've seen in my yard vary greatly in vivid lovely colors ranging from lime green, dark green, flesh tone, brown. They are shiny and have beautiful eyes. The most important thing that I have observed that distinguishes the toads and frogs around here is the fact that my frogs have these little suction cup thingy's on the bottom of their feet and can climb like spiderman. I am always noticing frogs stuck to windows and occasionally on the windshield of my truck. Now that I've lectured you readers of the blog with my vast toad and froggy knowledge I will bless you with my ultimately cool nature experience. I was standing in the kitchen doing the dishes when I noticed a half dozen frogs perched on the glass of the my kitchen window, and tonight they revealed to me for the first time why they like to hang out on the glass so much. They sat still on the window waiting for the various flying bugs that were attracted to the kitchen light! The bugs would land and it was a joy to watch these little creature devour their meal. It was so much fun to watch them chase the little nats and moths. It was pretty darn cool. I guess you had to be there. Tune in next time for Tadpole mystery. Where I will attempt to answer the question. If we have so many damn frogs where are the tadpoles being born? I really want to know this.

And it just keeps getting stranger

Yummy Episodes

Look Dona - Stephen King And Bunnies How can you resisit

The Shining in 30 seconds with bunnies.

Ok This is a last resort to make Dona Fix Her Sounds

Alice in Wonderland - An Interactive Adventure! - Very Cool Site

Alice in Wonderland - An Interactive Adventure!

The Toad Spangled Banner for Melisa

Funny Greetings

Guinea Pigs in Wonderland - I couldn't resist

Guinea Pigs in Wonderland

A Tribute to the animals in our lives

Little Trinity's Private Thoughts

I admit it I even read the bunny archives. and visited the promo for bounty hampster which made me think of Stepahnie Plum for some reason.

With a little help from my friends...

Okay - I can honestly say the blog has been a God send. After reading comments from Lydia and Patti, I sat down and put a plug in the emotional, gut-reaction of, "No! No! I won't do this!" and examined it (and myself) a bit more closely.
Lydia, you hit the nail on the head. I am not physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually able to deal with this child in the way he needs and deserves. Is this a cop our or excuse to soothe my guilt over the way I feel? Possibly. Is it also the truth? Absolutely.
You are absolutely right, Lydia - Darrel really doesn't want to do this either. So, I sat down with him a little while ago and said I don't think the solution is yanking him from his home, mother, and brothers. At least not at this point. It will only feel like another rejection and abandonment to him. It's a last resort. I will spend Monday on the phone contacting child counseling services, parenting classes, support groups, etc. I will gather all the information needed and present it to his mother. We will become more involved in this boy's life (especially Darrel, as the boy adores Darrel and is bad need of a positive male role model), but ultimately the responsibility to do what is necessary is the mother's. Darrel agreed on all counts. I will try not to bore you all to death, but will keep you posted. I can't tell you how much it is all appreciated.

Beatings or Antipsychotic Meds

No way to know that the kitten was sick really. It had a virus possibly Pneumonia, the vet tech girl said that they go down hill pretty fast. I just like to torture myself I guess. Rainbow appeared a bit thin but otherwise healthy, she ate and drank just fine (I thought anyway). She was not very active but I attributed that to her age and that she may have been recovering from the trama of new surroundings. Rainbow did seem to enjoy our company and was always close to where ever we happened to be.  There will be another kitten if that is what Blaze wants. Kittens are plentiful here as so many people do not bother to spay and neuter their pets. I am a cat person but not much on kittens. I do not know why this is, as I have raised and bottle fed many orphan and abandoned kittens. I never had the desire to keep one of them but for some reason this little Rainbow girl endeared herself to me. Life is funny that way.
  I am glad to hear that Keegan the wonder dog is doing well. I don't know if what I am about to write is observation, opinion or advice regarding stepgrandson. Wow Dona, your my hero! You actually realize your limitations. So times I find myself doing things simply because I somehow feel that they are the right thing to do even if they are not the right thing for me. Perhaps you are in a self centered phase in your life right now but your feelings have nothing to do with selfishness . I don't think so any way. You simply realize your limitations. If this boy came to live with you it would obviously hinder and put a strain on your relationship with Darrel because this is not what you and Darrel both want. I think that it would cause undue strife. I don't know that you should listen to me, if you have any doubts reread my blogs and examine my sometimes immature behavior. If you wanted to let Darrel know how you feel in no uncertain terms and not seem like a bitch (which you aren't). You could cry and tell him that you are genuinely concerned about the boys well being but bringing him into your home would only damage him further as you are no longer prepared to deal with a child anymore let alone one with problems of this magnitude. Perhaps Darrel does not really want this option either but simply feels that it is the right thing to do. Time spent with an adult that has something to offer him would undoubtedly do the boy good. Sounds like Mommy needs parenting classes. I could probably use them too! Brandy will probably say that the seven year old just needs beaten on a regular basis. I think that he needs a stable mother and some psychological help. If he is hurting his younger siblings and playing with fire than there is a  serious problem or this could easily become a serious problem. His mother needs to seek professional help. Maybe he only needs attention or maybe he needs antipsychotic medication. Maybe he needs regular beatings. Once again I applaud you for realizing that this is clearly something that you are not up to. Mommy needs to do her part for her son., it sounds as if she is failing him. Maybe their is someway you can help the mother. Not financially, I mean spiritually, emotionally. Do some research and seek out those that are equipped for these things if you are inclined to do something for this boy. You and your family are in my prayers.

Thanks, Patti

Thanks so much, Patti, for taking the time to read, contemplate, and write. Yes, he is a grandchild - the oldest of the 9 grandchildren Darrel and I have between us. I agree with you, that this boy needs lots of love, sprinkled with the proper amount of rules, limits, and discipline.
The ex boyfriend is in the picture, but not living with them. He sees them every other weekend. Unfortunately, as Tracy (the mother) lived with the ex for 2 years, he is the only "Dad" these boys have known. The 7 year old met his real dad once, as he spends more time in prison than out. To this little boy, this ex is his "Dad." The guy is a horrible influence on him, but understandably the boy loves him.
I told Darrel (my hubby) I am more than willing to have the boy here more often, but it's sort of useless to try to lead him in the right direction when his mother just undoes every effort you make. I do understand why she reacts like she does - she's 25, but has the mind and maturity of a 16 year old and lets her "guilt" over what the kids have been through control how she acts and reacts to them. It's understandable, but not acceptable. She is currently talking about putting him an "boys home" and I see this as just another time the boy will feel rejected and abandoned. Which leads to why Darrel mumbles about having him live with us. I know this is the most obvious and most sensible solution, and probably the best one for the child. That's why I feel bad about the fact that I just don't want to raise this (or any other) child, but I also can't lie about how I feel about it. 90% of raising him would fall to me, as I'm at home all day. This is not how I intend to spend my "golden years."
Okay - I'm sick of listening to myself a this point. But, thanks for the comment Patti and feel free to continue!
Brandy - in response to your last blog - I don't want bigger boobs. I just want them back where they were 10 years ago.

Now you really can be all that you can be and more

iWon - News: "Bigger Breasts for Free: Join the Army"

I'm a liar, pants on fire.

I'm back, to blog my rant. Don't stone me - B said I had to and we all know that defying Brandy is like asking for bad kharma. I will try to give the Reader's Digest version.
Darrel's daughter, Tracy is a 25 year old single mother of 3. Never been married, oldest 2 by same father, youngest by different guy. The kids are 7, 2-1/2, and 1-1/2. She works full time and admittedly does her best, as she is totally unworldly, naive to the nth degree, and has a 9th grade education. However, she has never acquired, or been taught, any parenting skills. Last Dec. 13th we moved her from about 100 miles away to Anthony, KS, which is about 20 miles away. She was in a very bad situation with the father of her youngest, who she had been with for about 2 years. Very abusive relationship. Anyway, lots of drama has ensued, which we have dealt with both emotionally and financially.
The 7 year old has gotten totally out of control, to the point where I worry about the safety of the 2 "babies." He is VERY abusive to them physically (kicking, punching, out of the blue and for no obvious reason, and even shoving the youngest out a window) and has begun to be verbally abusive to his mother and lately has begun to be fascinated by matches, lighters, and starting fires. (Which makes me realize the title of this blog is wildly unappropriate, but I really wasn't thinking of that when I wrote it, and besides, I'm generally wildly unappropriate myself.)
Anyway, my darling other half tonight began to fill guilty that he has not spent enough time with this child and went on and on all night about how he doesn't want to, but he has to start spending more time with him and maybe he should come live with us....
Here's where the problem arises. I've turned into a basically selfish, self-centered bitch. I know I should embrace this child and help him as much as I can. I know this in my mind. In my heart, I flat out don't want to do this. I raised my child and a couple of stepchildren over the years. My child was the adolescent from hell. I do not want to do this, especially at a time in my life when I feel I can finally live my life for me. As a mother at 17 (no one's fault but mine, I agree) I never had a life that was centered around me. I do now and I'm not ashamed to admit I relish it. Besides the selfish aspect of this dilemna (which I readily admit is a huge part of it) there is the fact that this boy's mother (btw, all 3 are boys) has asked a couple of different people over the last 6 months for help with this child as she "just can't deal with him." Both people have jumped at the chance to be involved, but told her, "You have to back me up. This won't work if I institute rules and then you undermine them." She, of course, agreed wholeheartedly, and then did just the oppposite. If he was told he couldn't watch t.v. for a week, she let him watch t.v. If he was told he couldn't ride his bike for a week, she let him ride his bike. Even after this "back sliding" was pointed out, she agreed she was wrong, but continued the same behaviour. Which has led me to believe she doesn't want to do what it takes to make it right and help this boy onto the right path - she wants someone else to wave a magic wand to make it right, with no effort on her part.
So...what do I do? Do I bide my time and see what happens? I really feel that left unchecked this boy will someday seriously hurt one of his younger brothers and be removed from the home. (Not that I think removal from the home would be a necessarily bad thing for him, but we all know what happens to kids once they become part of "the system.") The 2-1/2 adores his big brother and copies everything he does, and has begun repeating his older brother's favorite line to their mother - "I hate you." Not good. And a shame, as the 2-1/2 year old is really a sweet, loving, gentle soul when his older brother isn't in the vicinity, and a joy to be with.
Do I tell my other half, my soul mate, my reason for getting up every day that I want no part of this and damage our relationship forever? (Which is, between you blog ladies and I, exactly how I feel when I'm being totally honest with myself and not trying to be something I'm not.)

Too sad

I feel so bad for you and for Blaze, Lydia! Your tale made me tear up (okay - I'm not always the hardened bitch I aspire to be) and brought back memories of pets long gone but not forgotten. Kelly is obviously aspiring to be the poster boy for heartless anal retentive assholes. I say this with the utmost respect.
I remember when Catty (one of the other Catahoula Leopards we have had over the years) was run over in front of our house, as I stood in the yard watching. I cried every hour on the hour for weeks, but had to go out on the front porch to do it, because Darrel thought I was being an idiot. Of course, that was before he fell in love with Keegan the Wonder Dog (he's really a lovable but mentally deficient canine, but don't tell Darrel that) and I think he now has a clue what I was feeling.
I don't know what's worse - Rainbow dying or how to tell Blaze. I wish you were closer - I would offer him pick of the multitude of kitties that are offered to us on a daily basis. (Living out in the country, people feel you need to adopt every thing with 4 legs.)
I feel so bad about the kitty that I think I will forego the rant I intended to blog and save it for tomorrow. Of course, my adrenaline will be back to normal and I will have my "Irish/Italian" under control again, so I can't promise the rant will occur.
Btw, Lydia, if you buy the Anthony High School you will have to come to the area to at least finalize things and you will be only 20 miles from me, so I will be sure there is a large selection of kitties available for Blaze.

Goodbye Kitty

I am so sorry about the Kitty Lydia. Had no idea it was sick when I gave it too you. Does the doc have any clue as to what was wrong. I knew it was skittish but I don't think it acted sick so how could you have known. I have been around cats and kittens all my life and didn't notice anything wrong with it.

Tell Blaze I am sorry wish it had ended different.

Goodbye Rainbow Kitty

Sad news today, my little Rainbow kitty passed into the next realm. I was looking around the house for her and saw her asleep (or so I thought) in the litter box. I took her out and she was quite limp and meowing and gasping for air. I stared at her for a moment in disbelief and then I grabbed a new book of checks because I did not know where the checkbook was off hand and dashed out the door with little fragile body in my hand.  I took her to my usual vet clinic who I have always considered miracle workers. I get her there and my usual vet  Dave is not in. Instead rainbow kitty got to see Dr hardened no feelings man who said that she was trying to die and that it would be a waste of money to treat her. I recalled a time when I brought a catatonic limp kitten there to be euthanized and Dave asked me to please give her a chance. He gave him subcutaneous fluids vitamins and antibiotics and the kitten made a full and speedy recovery.  I said that she was depending on me to care for her and that she deserved a chance. So she got the fluids and the antibiotics and of course she died on the way home. Evidently she had been ill for some time and I feel negligent because I should have realized this and took her in as soon as she was left in my charge. Stupid Lydia thought it would be special if I waited til Friday when Blaze got  here so that we could take her to the Vet for her check up and first shots together. Some times I could just kick myself in the ass. So I'm home feeling somewhat depressed because my son's birthday kitten is gone and now I'm going to have to break this news to him. He needs no lessons on dying and the circle of life as he has experienced these things sufficiently  for his short six years. I considered going out and trying to find a similar kitten and trying to pass it off as Rainbow but Kelly says that we should never lie to our children. After Kelly gave me time to mourn ( a few hours ) he scolded me for having the cat treated after the vet said that it was a waste. He also was quite annoyed that I wrote an out of sequence check. I wanted to call him a cheap annal bastard but I did not.

Cheap Property Waiting for you to buy it Lydia

eBay item 4309414204 (Ends Sep-20-04 10:18:23 PDT) - 3 1/2 Story Historic School Building Anthony Kansas

Great building nice town - Perfect spot for those troubled kids
And you can buyit for a song. As long as you don't count the roof and the new heating and airconditionin system BUt once done you would have a spectacular place for a franction of what is would cost to build

Another Blog by a talented lady -

Beelzebublog
Love the photos don't agree with all the sentiments but she shows definite inteligent thought. Something we see so little of in todays world. BTW she is from Australia. I seem to be finding a lot of interesting ladies from Australia lately.

And the ass prize goes to....

And of course, don't forget the infamous finish to B's retort:
"...and I can always lose weight."

Feel free to publish the Pig chat B. Everything is a blur from that experience but not wanting to disappoint here it is with some embellishments of course as I have forgotten many things by now and will have to make up those things which I cannot remember. I was helping Aramana's mother Julie empty out her storage closet. Mainly I was helping by transporting her belongings and looking after her children. (Julie cannot drive) I was parked in the back driveway of Julie's slummy apartment when Shawna (aka pig thief) shows up. Not an unexpected event as she lives in the same crappy building. Actually this is how I met the hooligan. Who up until recently I believed was a very nice girl who was delt an unfortunate hand in life. Well  Shawna bops up to Julie and offers to help her pack my truck. I was hoping that Julie would refuse her help but understood when she accepted because Julie was very worn out from her move. Most of which she did single handedly. So I'm sitting in my dirty green roach infested Yukon feeling more than just a tad bit uncomfortable wondering if Shawna was going to say anything to me. Felt a bit sad when little Kelly yelled theres my Shawna. I tried to distract myself by playing with the kids and prayed to God that the time would pass quickly. In spite of her  previous insincere apology it became evident that I had not yet forgiven her because for some strange reason my blood began to boil. I was maintaining quite well as I have never much been one for direct verbal confrontations (with the exceptions of confronting my mother and more recently Kelly). Within a few minutes Shawna's   20 something girlfriend shows up. She looks like a cross between Miss piggy  and a pitbull.  She says, "Don't steal anything Shawna!"she giggles and looks right at me. I look over at her and ask what she said because I was intending to give her a mature motherly lecture (yeah right). Then Miss Piggy comes up to me gets in my face and yells at me for supposedly forcing Shawna to admit to her wrong doing and squeezing an apology out of her. This is the blurry part. Don't know exactly what she said but  suffice to say it  got under my skin because I hopped out of my car as she was driving away of course and yelled. "Try not to steal anything else from children." (or something along those lines) Then vile mouthed creature gets out of her car and gets in my face again and says something like I'm gonna kick your ass. She possibly could have just said nothing. I don't remember now. So I was standing there in front of her knowing that my children were in the car but at the same time hoping that she would hit me because I was genuinely ready for her to taste the pavement.  A remark was made about the size of my ass. Fat ass bitch was what I think she called me. Did not say anything that I am ashamed of, no curses came from my lips but I was left feeling remorseful not so much for my actions but that I enjoyed the confrontation so much. It felt pretty damn good to act on the impulse I felt quite high and I tortured myself for enjoying it so. I came home looked at my ass in the mirror to check out my booty to make sure it was not fatter than usual and immediately wanted to blog about it and was without an outlet as the blog was down. I instant messaged what is probably the more accurate version to B. So there it is THE PIG part TRE.  In retrospect I would have just run Shawna over while she was loading the truck and then claimed that the devil made me do it or I could  tell her family to sue GM because the Truck suddenly flew into reverse while my foot was accidently on the gas pedal. Just kidding I would  do nothing probably. Shawna and her freaky gal pal's existence is punishment enough for almost anything that they have done. They are screwed up kids probably with screwed up parents. I just don't know what came over me, one minute I am praying for the girl and the next I am acting so contrary. Perhaps I have multiple personalities. What shall I name this facet of me? Foolish Lydia, Petty Lydia, Hostile Lydia, Angry Lydia? I just don't know. B's words of wisdom for me were,"Better a fat ass than a dumb ass." So very eloquently put!  I am so very human and even though  I claim to know myself so well even I surprise myself at times.

My warding stones aren't working...

Okay! Okay! I'm blogging! Brandy threatened to send assorted mythical, magical creatures to torment me unless I did. So, I sat this a.m. with a cup of coffee and began blogging my way into infamy. Two large paragraphs done and Netscape shut down on me. I said some appropriately vile words and walked away, resigned to the idea that I am not meant to blog
However, I do read every day (and sometimes multiple times a day), if that counts. In an attempt to totally avoid doing anything productive, I turned the computer back on and there was Lydia, repeating Brandy's message, sans the threats. I can't live with the pressure. I'm killing myself at the desk in front of the pc with the blog on the screen and a message scrolled across it in my own blood - "Beware the Blog." Okay - so I read way too many horror novels. I guess I'll just blog and live another day.
I enjoy reading about your topsy-turvy lives so much more than writing about my boring flat-line life. Not that I'd have it any other way - boring is good. When something exciting happens around here, it usually has a negative bend to it. B, I totally agree about living in the middle of nowhere and when we are old and widowed, you will live here in isolation with me. Sometimes being out beyond the known universe is a bit inconvenient, but I can live with that. Now if I only had a house with plumbing and electrical systems that date from at least the last century, I'd be happy.
Cj was here for 4 days last week and we, of course, had a grand 4 year old time. We played (a lot!), went swimming, played with the water hose, made cookies, read books (again - a lot!), visited my sister's now-closed bar and played video games, pool, and darts, went shopping, went for "special treats" (it's so easy to please a 4 year old when his mother has practically NEVER allowed him to have things like ice cream), helped "Grandpa" around "the farm," lots of other fun things, including catching LOTS of grasshoppers to feed to the dying-of-old-age ducks, as they need the protein. If someone had told me my ducks would only live about 2 years, I doubt I would have brought them home. I've grown rather fond of "my girls."
I have yet to hear The Pig Part Tre, but I add my voice to Brandy's and insist Lydia posts it. Lydia's tales, both real and imaginary, always brighten my day.
Keegan, the wonder dog, returns to the vet for more surgery in a couple of weeks, but is obviously feeling his old self, as I woke this a.m. to find he decided he felt well enough to chew my shoes while I slept. Fortunately, they are the shoes I keep at the back door to slip on to go "do chores" around the place and are much abused and covered in paint, along with cow, chicken, and duck poop. I think the chewing just added to their farm yard appeal.
We've had one crisis after another here lately. Nothing really bad - just the usual kind that remind you are alive - like hundreds of dollars in car repairs, central heat and air frying, - the usual mundane traumas that happen to everyone, but cause you to see actual dollar signs being sucked out of your accounts like a Kansas tornado is passing.
Darrel's grown kids are driving me to drink again, but I've resigned myself to the fact that it's just a part of my life that I will have to deal with forever. I think this is what they were talking about when they mentioned the "or worse" clause in the wedding vows. Of course, being "resigned" to the fact in no way means I haven't had ample opportunity to hone and perfect my bitch skills. I'm getting better and better at the big NO! and recently eliminated the words "give" and "giving" from my vocabulary. I definitely think if B ever redoes our profiles that I would have to be the meanest of the bunch.
I guess I better stop now, as this sudden rush of blogging after so long of no blogging has made my head begin to spin and my extremities tingle.

I want to know

I want to know what utterly captivating events are unfolding in the lives of all  wise blog women. I know that it is B's job to motivate and pester us to write but today I will assign myself this duty. Please please please blog! I miss all of you. 

As always I am suppose to be doing something profitable with my time. At the moment I am suppose to be researching the owners of the vacant houses in our target areas so that I can mail letters to these people in hopes of getting them to sell us their run down real estate for a song. One can always hope that someone will bite or jump on this grand opportunity to rid themselves of their annoying property taxes that they are paying on decaying buildings that are doing nothing but causing an eyesore, bringing down property values for their neighbors and giving people a place to shoot drugs. of course my letter will say nothing of the sort. It will say Dear owner of nasty old place, I noticed that your dump is vacant. I am a greedy real estate investor and want to make a buck. Give me your place for free because you are not as smart as I am. Thank you and have a fantabulous day! I wanted it to be very personal and say that we would like to rehabilitate the property so that we can provide quality affordable housing to low income people but Kelly said nay. So basically it will say. I am interested in purchasing a home\apartment in such and such street area whatever. I noticed yours was vacant, if you would like to sell your property please call me at 1-800 my husband is tired of working off shore. Today is the Blazer man's big day. I made him a cheesecake with strawberries on top and also a strawberry cake with strawberry filling and strawberry icing. Tomorrow he will get his kitten! Thanks Brandy. I knew that I did not need another cat but Blaze does! He will be so thrilled. Lindy and Blaze are spending the month with their Dad but I will see them tonight. Today I will buy a big stupid bow to put on the kittens collar. This little cat is going to knock Blaze's socks off. Well it would if it were winter and he was actually wearing socks. Housepests are still here. I am so glad that the kids found  a place to crash and that Tessa will get to continue her education. I don't suggest that James join the army though. I would hate to see him die for no good reason. I am telepathically sending this message to James. JAMES do not join the Army. You will hate it. There are many better ways to serve your country. ARMY NO BAD BAD BAD IDEA! Of course my father and brother may read this and never speak to me again. They never spoke to me much to begin with. I was once in the Airforce (sort of). I will publish that story I promise. It is most hilarious and sad and directly leads me to the place I am at today so I am grateful for that.

Political funny of the day - You must have sound to enjoy

JibJab.com

Very Cool things I will never be able to afford

Funfurde

Woman's Blog of the day

Living in Egypt

Lazy Days and Mondays

Hi All,

I get the blog working and none of you write, I see how you are. Busy, Busy Busy, and I understand the feeling. Yesterday I spent a wonderful 2 hours shopping at Barnes and Noble Thanks to my boss who kindly sent me a 100 gift card. I am usually very careful what I buy since books now cost more than most drugs and it was very nice just to wander around and pick up whatever I wanted. Came home with a large stash that will soon be making its way around the country to Dona and then To Michelle. After shopping we had a nice lunch at On the Border. Food was great Bus Boys were the slowest I have seen in ages. Ended up bussing my own booth so I wouldn't have to sit at a table. When I was younger I would have never considered doing such a thing. Sometimes being old is grand.

Update from the edge. The children have found a place to land with one of the boys relatives on the condition that Girl continues school and boy gets a real job or joins the army within the next 30 days. But they are being fed and watered on a regular basis and no longer living with drug addicts and crack whores to have a place to sleep. I find it relatively shameful that the family didn't come forward sooner and that out of all the people they knew it was the drugged out crazies that let them into their home. And a scary home that was. Glad they are out of it.

I miss April and Emily since they are in Phoenix visiting and showing off Emily to my large many parented family. They sound like they are fun but about ready to come home. Large cities are not for April anymore and I can certainly understand that sentiment. I would take a farm with no neighbors any day of the week.

Received a credit card in the mail today in an attempt to reestablish good credit after bankruptcy. It was here for all of 10 minutes before I cut it up and decided it wasn't really worth it. They are nice to have but they are better not to have. It was a pretty card with this great fantasy scape design Kinda wished I had kept it just for the picture but in my usually lopsided way of thought I decided that right after cutting it in half.

Pixarra who makes the twisted brush Paint program visited our blog and invited me to display my bad art in their program gallery pages which I thought was kinda cool. Still making more and more things for the cafe press site. Don't know if I will ever make any money off of it but I am having fun playing. After so many years on Ebay which taught me to hate my computer it is nice to have fun with it again.

I made the picture smaller again on the blog in hopes that Lydia will retain some sense of sanity. Wouldn't want her going postal on us. It the letters are still over lapping the pic then you need to do one of two things. Set your resolution higher. (To do this if you don't know how - Right click on any empty spot on your desktop (The first screen that comes up when you turn on your computers) Click on Properties and then settings. On the bottom half on the left you will see "Colors" this should be set at 16bit or higher. On the right is screen area. I keep mine at 1024 X 768. But 800 X 600 should work also if your screen isn't truly puny. If the text still overlaps I suggest buying a new new monitor. (Mishy :0)) I forget at times that not everbody has a 19" or greater monitor which is what I design on. I have the ability to test it on all screns sizes and resolutions but I don't put that much effort into it because everybody should buy a bigger screen. Yard sales are great for regular 19" monitors now because all the people with real money are buying flat screens and selling their other ones.

Lydia Get your DSL working - Call me I will help or call their tech support which is actually pretty good for something that belongs to SBC. I spent many long hours ont he phone with them when I had to set up mine and I knew what I was doing. Thier system just take a bit to get working. BTW you don't have to use a luch box tell me what pic you want and I will put it on a purse for you. I wish you would write Pig part tre. I save the chat if you don't want to write it all again and I see nothing wrong with embellished memories they are much more interesting to read and usually more instructive than reality. Besides I can't put up all my great comebacks for your next encounter if you don't post the story.

Well thats all for the night I had some amazing Philosophical stuff to write but I forgot what it was.

I beg your Pardon, Its my fault the blog went down

When we moved last July my bank never managed to changed the billing
address on my credit. After 11 months of different billing and
shipping addresses I finally called the bank and made them fix
it. The real reason is that the hubby was trying to pay insurance
online and they did not give him a choice of using the old address so
since he couldn't do it . I called the bank. Things always
get fixed faster when they start affecting the hubby. (I had this
stove top once that kept electrocuting the children and myself and Les
did not believe us until 6 months later when it finally zapped
him. Then of course it was fixed the same day. ) Anyway I
finally had the address fixed on the card but forgot to change it at
Yahoo and at my adult site also but they hadn't turned me off quite so
quickly. I fixed it on Thursday it has taken this long for Yahoo
to get off their butts and turn me on. For the past
three years I have been fairly happy with my yahoo server service but
lately they are failing in many ways.

I emailed their site support late wednesday to find out why the site
was down since it was still reading active in my console and they never
sent me a notice stating that they were having trouble with my
payment,(which would have been the business like thing to do).

I finally got an answer today
(Thank you for contacting us.
We apologize for the inconvenience this situation has caused you. We

will follow-up on your concerns of your escalation with our Engineering team.

Again, we apologize for the delay)

This shows me that they did not in fact even bother to look at the account or they would have sent a letter saying if you had pai for your service then you would have service I hate mindless email. Just ignore me if you are going to do so don't pretend to care.

Had this problem with the new messenger also which all should avoid if possible
WIll post those humorous letters later.

At any rate I accept full responsibility, amazing how much you can miss one little thing when it is gone.

Oh Happy Day The Blog Is Back

Once again I can subject others to the hamster in my head. The words are not freely flowing as I thought they would so easily once my super blog power returned to me. I was going to write "The Pig Part Tre" In which some really immature behavior on my part would be chronicled but too much time has passed now and I will not. When ever too much time passes I tend to embellish things as I have a very romantic memory. I also have a little kitten around here somewhere as well as some housepests. The kitten is a very tiny thing with big eyes light grey, peach, and white calico fur. She is  a little girl of course as nearly all calico cats are.  I only acquired her because Brandy found her and knowing that I love cats offered her to me. If  I can acclimate her to this roudy house,crazy dog, and prissy princess kitty I may convince Kelly to allow her to reside here with us. In any case she has a temporary home until I can find someone that I deem good enough to be blessed with this small furry creature. The resident animals are pretty much in shock as we have some housepests. Julie, Aramanna, Justin and their two cats Sylvester and Tiger are staying here with us until the renovation of their new apartment is complete. Actually the cats were perfect guests, now if only the same could be said for those pesky humans that they brought with them. The new crib should be ready tonight so I will have my privacy once again. Right now the kids are making a mess with construction paper. which will keep them busy for at least a few moments while I type. I am babysitting Aramanna and Justin while their mother is at a birthday party.  I wasn't dying to do this but given the choice of being around Mommy and kids or just Mommy. I chose children. I really cannot leave Julie here alone because she allows her children to destroy even those things that I thought were indestructible. Even though in my home my I allow my children to create many disasters when I am in someone else's abode I practicly follow my children around with a dust pan catching their crumbs. My children also realize they are not at home and that they should "TRY" to behave accordingly. I think that it is a matter of respect.  I want the world to know that the print over the picture on the blog is really annoying me. I could go postal at any moment. On a positive note. In a moment of complete clarity and relaxation I came to the shocking (however obvious it may be to everyone but me) conclusion that a real huge reason that the elder Kelly is so angst ridden is because he  can NEVER  relax. Even when he is laying on the couch with a book in his hand he is in hostile mode. I told him that he should speak to his doctor about this and to that he said nothing. Something wacky is is going on with the blog spell check. It is more broke than usual.

Crazy Woman Art - Surviving Menopause through Art

Surviving Menopause through Art | CafePress

I just opened a new store to showcase my wonderful new art or my wonderful new bad art depending on how you look at it. Take a look and buy my art. or

click below and start a store of your very own

Stupid Political Comments of the day

Bush the wimp.
Last week, Bush declined an NAACP speaking invitation because of "hostile political rhetoric" from the group's leaders. "You've heard the rhetoric and the names they've called me," Bush told the Philadelphia Inquirer.
(Of Course they call him names he has been responsible for destroying of our civil rights than any other president. But not even having the guts to go speak to them. Shameful)

Kerry
"We've got more African Americans in jail than we do in college. That's unacceptable," he added.
(Okay this isn't a stupid comment but it is a stupid fact.And a very sad fact also)
But I haven't heard Kerry talk of legalizing drugs and that will be the only way to end this problem


David Korb, a former freelance writer for Fox, told a news conference that when things were going badly for U.S. troops in Iraq, a senior Fox producer laid down instructions to the writers.
"'Remember when you're writing about this, it's all good,"' Korb said. "'Don't write about the number of dead, or about troops being under fire or under attack. Keep it positive. Emphasize all the good we're doing, like rebuilding schools and bringing democracy. Yoo-hoo for us! It's big progress."'
(Do they really think we are that stupid - Oh Wait,some of us are)

And Speaking of Stupid John Q Public
"Since 9/11, there has been no major terrorist attack on this country," said Bob Shea, a 52-year-old independent-leaning Democrat from Westfield, Mass. "So I have to say Bush and his administration have done a reasonable job."
(We didn't have much in the way of terrorist attacks before 9/11 either, nor did we have so many soldiers dead, So many of our civil rights violated etc... How anyone can see Bush as doing a good job is beyond me.)


And Last but Not Least - A personal observation
Lately I have been reading polls on how the economy is imporoving and the job market is doing better because unemployment rates are down. Yet I haven't heard anyone state the obvious. Of course unemployment is down. We have called up thousands and thousands of reserve and national guard units because of the Debacle in Iraq. Lets face it as long as he can keep them fighting and dying in Iraq the numbers are gonna look good at home since somebody is going to get their job. - Like Duh

The PIG Part II

Well by now everyone in blog land is probably tired of hearing about the pig and for those of you that are not familiar I am not speaking of my husband. Even though he like most men is prone to his piggish moments. The pig the pig the pig, have a tendency to dwell on things. I wish that I did not but I do. I Shawna's little brothers today and of course as any little red headed little brother's would they ratted her out big time. I told them that I was not upset (big lie) and that if she apologized that would be the end of it. She called me later on acting like nothing happened, so I said Shawna I spoke to your brothers bla bla bla. Of course she lied and I told her that she could lie to herself that she was not fooling me. Tried to lay some heavy guilt on her. It only made her angry but I did get my apology. She said she did it for personal reasons. I asked her what they were that I may sympathize. She told me that her parents were 1000 dollars behind on rent. I let her know that I knew that she did not give the money to her parents. I also told her that I might be able to help her parents. Then she got even more pissed off and said she doesn't need any help because she has a job and her boss is going to help her buy a truck. Then I said, "That's good I hope you don't steal from them too." That was that. Lord please help me to be more like you and please enter Shawna's life and show her and give her all the good things that you give me. It is a lot harder to kill people that are on your prayer list. That's what I always say anyway, at least from now on I'll say that. April called today inquiring if we had any houses for rent as her place is too small. I was probably not incredibly helpful. Mostly because I think that she has a good deal on her rent and I think she ought to save her pennies. Also none of my business. FYI, don't say anything to Lydia that you don't want on the blog! Normally not a blabber mouth but since I ditched my personal journal this is the only place in which I chronicle the mundane details of my day to day existence. We will have a two bedroom about 850 square feet that will be ready sometime this month. Really nice neighborhood. It's $675 for April. Only got Kelly to agree to $ 25 discount for Emily. I think $675 is more than our mortgage. Renting is such a waste. Not that I wouldn't want April as a tenant as her and her parent's were perfect tenants. We have a three bedroom that should be done at the end of the month. That one is probably going to be $650 but the neighborhood is so and it will have window units. Hint- Window units = higher electric bill. It will be very pretty though. We are going to start the process for getting approved to accept section 8 vouchers. Some prospective tenants have asked if we take section 8 in the past and I would like to say yes. Guaranteed rent from the government is a good thing. Didn't get to see that house this morning, the woman flaked out on us (she probably already sold it). We would have rented that one for $500, a nice four bedroom in the scary part of town. That would have been a great house for a family like ours. I hope a family bought it and not some investor that is only going to chop it up into little apartments and charge people too much rent.

Art Gallery - I liked his Dragons and plan on using some so I thought I would give him a little recognition

Art Gallery

A Trip back in Time

page-four

U.S. Expands Anti-Mad Cow Restrictions

And PEople wonder why I don't like make up

iWon News: "WASHINGTON (AP) - The government told cosmetics makers Friday they can no longer use brain and spinal cord tissue from older cattle in lipstick, hair sprays and other products."

I understand the annoyance factor myself

Its okay to be annoyed with both Kelly and Tessa. We here in blogland give you permission. If Kelly wants alterations done take them somewhere that does them in 24 housr for twice the fee and have them do it then give him the shirts and the bill.

As for Tessa I understand both ways. We have told them that Austin would be better, James was even agreeing it would be best and I think it would be better overall to get them both out of Corpus and their normal way of life. Break bad habits and get rid of bad influences.

Tessa's problem is she has never been out of Corpus at all. You and I were at least dragged around when we were younger and understaood that all places are essentially the same some just have better views. She doesn't know that yet and she is scared

Her sister also has nominal custody and said she would fight if Tessa tried to leave not that I think she can do anything seeing as how Tessa will be 18 on Sept 22, She knows its a good opportunity she is just scared to death to be all alone and that no one will like her etc..... The biggest problem being she is 17. I told her that if she doesn't do this she will regret it in ten years

They are both planning on returning to college whether here or austin as I explained the government would pay for all thier schooling plus give them money to live on if they would just fill out the stupid FAFsa and send it to Delmar. It would give them more than enough money to get an apartment and get started.

I would go to Austin and I told her that but no she is scared and wants babies. I want to shoot teenagers everytime I hear that come out of their mouths. Maybe put them on secret birth control or something.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I was originally going to write a nasty blog about how Kelly is not helping me one damn bit and that I am miserably depressed and the at any given moment at least one child is crying. Then I read B's blog and began to feel annoyed by someone other than Kelly. Don't know who I'm annoyed with really. Maybe Tessa's sister. Maybe I'm annoyed with myself. I know that I should be thanking God that Tessa will have a home but instead no I'm just thinking to myself that oh yeah living in someone else's crowded apartment is way better than autonomy independence and hope. Yeah that might last a few months and then by that time she will no longer have many options. See I am perfectly capable of being cynical and cruel. At least she now knows that she has a choice and she still does. She can call Erin any time and she can even talk to other kids in the program. Does she realize that she will get a free college education plus room and board and job assistence? Oh well. None of my business anyway. Okay I'm still mad at Kelly. The man says be back in a few minutes and I have to call him after 3 or 4 hours and ask what he's doing. I should try that trick. Hey babe see you in a few moments. The guy likes to hang out at the loan office and smoke and joke with his pals (okay he's not really smoking) at the most inconvenient times. Okay I'm jealous I have to give like two week notice in order to go anywhere without the kids. I'm pissed off! Now if he was actually making money at the office I wouldn't be so annoyed. He's got doors on his home office now so what's his excuse. He bought a fax machine, printer, scanner, copier but I guess we don't have Nestor, Caroline, and John here so it's just not the same. I'm trying to resist the temptation to call him on the phone and bitch him out. I keep offering to clean the house if he would just keep teething baby and 3 year old out of my hair but like that is really going to happen. I usually don't get this annoyed but today he hands me three of his work uniforms and asks me to take the sleeves off and so them for him by tomorrow night. Like I'm suppose to do this when? Kid's both napped at the same time so I could be doing it now but it will do nothing to relieve my aggression.

The Edge Awards - Tribute to Keith and Virginia May

Momma May's Beans and Things - my second real job - Burger and bean joint in the husk of a very very old tiny Dairy Queen on 19th Ave in Phoenix. I believe it is now a strip mall. This was my second for real not paying me under the table job. My first was Duck and Decanter. (good Restaurant, Still one of my favorites - but I liked the first location best).

When I moved out of my house at fifteen I was working at momma mays, cleaning grills and training managers since I was not yet old enough to be one. Being of paranoid mind and body I bided my time before moving out so that I could do it properly. Worked out moms schedule so I could get my stuff out while mother was out of town plus I cleared it with the owners of Momma Mays so I could stay with them for a few months while I saved money for an apartment. Even Altered my birth certificate to make me old enough to get said apartment.

Looking back Keith and Virginia May were my first exposure to people who took in strays. Both were in their Mid Sixties. They had a big house next to the freeway. The land parcel used to be out in the country before the city grew up around it so both lot and house were large and accommodating. Virginia was also an excellent cook which is of course why she opened her own restaurant. Woman actually made butter beans I liked.
She also made the best Cinnamon rolls, Texas Sheet Cake and Potato Salad. To this day I still follow her cinnamon roll recipe for Christmas Morning breakfast.

Keith and Virginia were good church going people but they never complained once when I refused to go. Virginia's only complaint to me the entire time I lived there concerned John(Joshuas Father) and that she did not approve and that if I was her daughter this would not be going on. The going on of course was that we were fucking like bunnies in her house. This house is where Joshua was conceived. Not very polite on my part to their elderly sensibilities but I was 15. The very definition of young and stupid.

their Son lived there with them he was in his early 20s and lived in a trailer next to the house. He had a pet Owl, very cool. Spent long hours in his trailer discussing politics life & music (he was in a band) and he kept trying to get me into bed but I was virtuous and John was the only person I was will to cheat on the current boyfriend with. Had older men all my life try and get me in bed but at the time it never crossed my mind it is only looking back that I realize what they were after. Lucky for them I was naive and stupid and saved them from themselves.

I stayed about 3 months at their house. Don't remember doing many chores or even my own laundry. I do remember Virginia was much friendlier when I moved in than when I moved out. Imagine that, she tries to be nice and gets to wait on another child. I think she was trying to do the daughter thing as she had three boys. I am sure I was a disappointment. Most 15 year olds are.

While I was living there another Older man moved in An ex- Juvie Handler from Arizonas juvenile Prison System. A Drunk Who didn't think much of teenagers. From what I remember he was a friend of Keiths. Recovering Alcoholic on Antibuse to keep him from slipping.

He was the last manager I trained before they closed the restaurant. He hated kids, was mean and belligerent but after living with us for a few months he began to mellow and I think realize that not all kids are bad or that at least I wasn't that bad and could hold my own in an argument, Like that was ever in doubt.

After 3 months there attempting to save money and still not having enough, I lied to John and made him give me money so I could move into an apartment. I moved out of their house I am sure to their relief. And into and apartment of my own (another story another time). I never went back to the house and I don't think I ever saw Virginia again but I did see Keith several times over the next 6 months we would go to Dennys and he would slip me 20s. Okay I really only called him when I needed money.

I used them shamelessly because I was so young and stupid I had no shame. They on the other hand treated me honorably and gave me a home when I had no where else to go.

I never told them thank you and I doubt they are still alive. These two people without meaning too and without knowing that they had, taught me a great deal. My marriage is closer in atmosphere to theirs than it ever was to my parents and I bring home strays. The big difference is that I don't get as upset when they don't do squat. Because I remember myself and figure it is just punishment for my past failures. Besides it is fun to watch them as they grow up.

So here is to Keith and Virginia May - Great People who had a profound influence on my life which is still very evident today almost 25 years later. If you are alive and out there and have ever wondered if what you did that summer was worth the aggravation well it was and will continue to be so. All Because you helped one stupid girl.

Other beneficiaries of your ongoing example are

Pav- Ex Druggy Extraordinaire - Now art teacher and loving father of Milla
Tiffany - Saved from relationship with an abusive drunk - By my daughter
Lindsey - Given a home after parents ran out of room and because her step father didn't like her - Kicked out of her parents house during Christmas - Also brought home by my daughter.

All three of these lived with us over the years when we had large houses and all three took advantage of the situation. Of the 3 Pav is still my favorite and he is the one who spent the most time with us. As appropriate following of tradition his daughter was conceived in my house.

Now there is James and Tessa - I no longer have the place to house them but they are still benefiting from food and help. So on to their update. Lydia came up with an exceptional plan for Tessa. I pitched it and she was actually considering it. Right up to the point where she talked to her older sister who helped raise her and declared that she couldn't move that far away. The good news is that in order to prevent her from moving away they are now checking with their apt. complex to see if it is okay to let them stay there for a while. So with any luck this current ordeal will be over soon.
Thanks to all for input and options in particular Lydia who knows her way around the systems here in Corpus Much better than I do. And who is considerably more social than I.

I Here by declare July 12, to be Keith and Virginia May Day. On the Calendar of Brandy's World. Thanks for your kindness and your support. You done good.



If I ever get Rich I will buy lots of farmland preferably with 2 or more houses on it. I will collect intelligent strays that have no home and give them security and unconditional love and support, and teach them how to do proper chores. Expose them to art and philosophy and let them relax and become who they can be in hopes that they will go out into the world calmer and more grounded and do the same for future generations.

Homes and Insecurity

How to make money and help people at the same time. Affordable, safe, clean, housing for low income people. This is exciting! After church we drove around looking at what some people actually have to live in this town and we discovered after calling the slum lords pretending to be potential tenants that people are paying from 350 - 500 dollars to live in one bedroom sub standard housing. It was hardly believable. How do they live with themselves? I just don't know. Kelly and I have actually manage to put our brains together and come up with a scheme pleasing to both of us. The real estate investors market is tough in this town it seems to be a rich persons game. We are not rich! Not even sort of. We are rich in ways that are not monetary. I couldn't really get excited about real estate until now. We are going to be successful because we are good people. We are not greedy pigs. I like pigs personally, they are very intelligent creatures but they tend to consume a lot,lay around and wallow in mud. While laying around and wallowing in the mud are not bad. I'm not a fan of excess consumption. Feel free to remind me of these things when I am filthy stinking rich.

When Lydia is rich she will

donate houses to homeless families

build Headstart centers

travel with her family (a lot)

may have cosmetic surgery

Can't think of any other good things at the moment.
I'm going to look at a four bedroom house with an efficiency apt. Tomorrow morning.
It is in a neighborhood that desperately needs renewal. Here's an observation and well probably more like a judgment- I blame real estate investors for a large amount of the decline in property values in certain areas of this city. I can't find my digital camera but I think that I am going to buy a new one and take pictures of these places and talk to the tenants and create some sort of web-site. Will need B's help with this of course as I am a compuchallenged person. I think it would have good educational value as well as be interesting on a human level. Not that I don't have anything else to do with my time. Maybe I should start volunteering at the HUD office. When I'm rich I will volunteer more. Most places have a minimum age to volunteer. Lindy can't wait until she is old enough to volunteer with me. It really is a shame because children are most interested in things while they are young. When she is older she may not care about these things anymore. I could be wrong. I'm having a tough time with my two oldest. Lindy and Blaze seem to have grown away from me. Maybe this is normal but it sure does feel like shit. I am afraid that their dad is brainwashing them by the little not so subtle things that he says about me. I tell my children that I love them each day and I certainly try to show them this. I feel insecure where their love for me is concerned. I know that it is party time at their dad's house. I am not the most stable person in the whole world but I try very hard to give my children stability and things that they can depend on.

Twisted Brush Gallery from Pixarra

Gallery

TwistedBrush Tutorials - For those of you who want the program

TwistedBrush Tutorials

Gotta love family

I am in Omaha, with my family, visiting with three of my kids. Our visit has been all that I hoped...A bunch of us drove down to Arkansas to visit my youngest sister with her new baby Cameron, who is 2 months old now. That was an adventure... Niece Beca, here in Omaha is 19 with a ten month old angel baby, she is doing a really good job mothering...but my sister Sue does a LOT to help (besides housing, feeding and supporting them both), so I have been thinking a lot of Brandy, April and Emily...and relating...what a lot of work! My girls have had a blast with the babies and witnessed the work involved (seeing their 19 yo cousin with an almost toddler and babysitting for her was an eye opener)... We have bunches of video and pictures and will be happy to share some when I get home. Here is one of us girls in mom's living room... That is me, mom, Leesie, Beca and Lexy on the floor and Aliya

Todays history lesson

Every Topic in the Universe(s?)
read the July 4th blog in this one and the one before it

Loan Girl

Not often one to try and strike up bargains with God as this is futile. Some times I think that I know a little bit about God's plan for my existence and at other times I'm just waiting for directions. I know that I don't always please God (free will and all). I don't know that God cares about many of the unimportant details. I think that God just loves us for who we are. I think that God has a sense of humor and some times does things to be funny or to just make our lives interesting. A few days ago I was making snide remarks to Kelly for not watching the children the one time I asked him to do so that I could study for my loan officer licensing exam. I was trying to mentally prepare him for the blame that I was preparing to place on him when I failed the test. Undeserved blame of course because I had plenty of opportunities to study that I chose to blog, play on the internet, pluck my eyebrows etc. I waited so long to study because I am a procrastinator and am always underestimating the amount of time that it will take to do things. So a few nights ago I get my little books out and make very lame attempts to study every chance I got. I mainly looked at all the things that I had highlighted during class even as I was really not sure why I highlighted these things. So this morning before I took the test I laughed at myself told God that if I passed this test it really must mean that I'm suppose to be a loan officer because it would take some act of God for me to get a passing grade. I took the test and there were many things on it that I was not familiar with. I go through it as quick as I can and I finished the two hour test in 40 minutes. Not a good sign! I asked the proctors when I could retake the test. That's when they informed me that I passed! I felt a combination of glee and shock. Which is really a funny feeling. I never thought that passing this test would please me so much. So I don't really know if God gives a hoot about this but I'm going to really try to make this work. Kelly said that he knew that I would pass. I don't know if he was just being sweet or if he really believes in me more than I believe in myself. So tonight Kelly and I are going to temporarily break our diet somewhat and have a really good meal and of course I will have a few drinks as well.