So so said goodbye to facebook today. It was a multitude of reasons. Mainly though I wanted my life back. I am not an animal rescuing machine. So I thought maybe I could use it as a platform for animal activism but I was not successful in that regard in any way that made an impact.

Mothers, like father's I have had many. My bio Mom, I guess I should just call her my mother because really who else is there. She's bat shit crazy and I love her but it is what it is.  She wants to come and live with me and that is not ever going to happen. I can do crazy on my own thank you very much. She is pretty much a kleptomaniac, and a little bit of a con. A shoplifter for sure. Thinks of everything in terms of how it relates to her. Is jealous of my own children for goodness sake. She is generous, she will spend all the money that she stole out of your desk on you. She will steal your check book and take you shopping lol. She appears to be reasonably sane but it just isn't the case. If you look at her to he wrong way she will cry. She will threaten suicide for attention and since two of her siblings took their lives you will want to pay attention. I could go on and on but the point is Mariah Young you are not alone lol.

Motherly Love

So I have been meaning to post on here for about a week now about my latest on my evil mother. So a few months ago (September to be exact) Eric and I petitioned for my mother to have her Grandparents rights taken away because 1. she wouldn't stop teaching my daughter about her religion, 2. she wouldn't stop harassing both Eric and I about how we were parenting wrong, 3. she was overstepping her boundaries by stating that she wanted more visitation with Riley and basically just displaying the most erratic and off the wall behavior I have seen her show in quite some time. 

So we won the case because my mother basically refused to show up to the 3 hearings that were held. She also refused to be served even stating via text that she was not going to make it easy. And she didn't have to go to court unless she was served. 

Well the judge read these messages and was not happy. The judge gave her three chances to show up but to no avail. So the judge granted us our petitioned and revoked my mother's grandparents rights.

Fast forward to last week and some man served me at my place of work (don't know how she found out where I worked) a lawsuit that my mother filed against me stating she wanted her Grandparents rights back. Of course, I was surprised. but not that surprised since this is my mother we are talking about. 

If she would just learn to calm down and lay low for awhile she would be able to talk to her grand daughter again and eventually see her again. But instead she does the exact opposite and files a lawsuit against me. I suppose I am just disappointed more than anything that she can't just be a normal person.  

I make a concerted  effort never to allow fear to be the pilot of the airplane that is my life but at times I am so consumed by my fear based thoughts that I become irrational. I am not proud of this. I have overcome many fears and live with and cope with others. I feel the fear and continue on with my path. Today is overwhelming. My greatest fear is of abandonment this has prevented me from forging and sustaining an innumerable amount of friendships, and relationships. It took me forever to learn how to love. For all intents and purposes it seems as though I am single. I say that with some regret because I have a lot of love to give. Today I am struggling with this fear. A friend became annoyed by one of my many cats jumping on the keyboard multiple times and he said he could not visit me in my home anymore. Pretty much this is the main place we see each other so I became hurt immediately. He did not speak to me today and I feel as If he never will again and I know that is not logical or rational but it is what it is. I cannot think myself out of the way I feel. It is so overwhelmingly real. The really shitty part about loving people is that when they go away it hurts. I am not any good at that part. People leave and that's life. Sometimes they don't want to leave but there is no way they can stay (Brandy). Sometimes they stay as long they can but in the end they just can't handle all that is you. S