B's Blog of the day

rabbit blog
Very Humerous and definately off the beaten path

Clueless and Pitiful

One of the great things about blogging is that you can give other human beings the experience of listening to your hormonal ravings, or atleast reading them anyway. I was about to write a lengthy piece of literary genius(not) concerning how my husband is a complete psycho. However he just came up here and apologized and gave me a hug. I really shouldn't have been up here. I should have been out the door headed toward the nearest Margarita. I said, "I'm leaving, there is formula in the cupboard". I decided that the sensible thing would be to come up here and vent because I know that I probably would have wanted more than one drink. Then who would drive me home? Poor little Ranger would have been stuck drinking some nasty crap while his mother boozed it up. Maybe this is PMS talking,or perhaps I really do want to kick Kelly's ass or cry. Crying is always good. I missed Kelly so much this week but now that he's here again I like him better when he's gone. He came home and was not especially cheerful due to work BS. I don't know what posessed me but I felt the urge to have him acknowledge that I was doing the Loan Officer thing for him/us and that this was not what I would choose for myself. Apparently this bit of info really pissed him off because I then got to hear about how ungrateful I was. It seems that Kelly was doing something nice for me to get me out of the house because to hear him tell it I act so miserably. Maybe I have a tendency to think the worst of people but it seemed kind of coincidental that Kelly's loans were not getting taken care of while he was offshore and logical that he might want me to take care of them in his absence. As I take care of everything else in his absence, his children, his rental properties, etc. Plus he has recently mentioned that I should make some money so that we can hire a housekeeper, due to the deplorable level of scum in our home. Which I am responsible for obviously being that he is gone half the time and I am the wrangler of the little filth makers. Kelly was extremely hurt that I would think that he could be so selfish. Of course he was hurt in a loud angry way. I was hurt that he was thinking that I am so damn pitiful. Like I really needed him to hand me a job. What I wanted to say is Hello! Dumb ass man, I choose to be home with my babies. No it's not always a picnic. Doing the dishes sucks, but it certainly is not my only option. If you felt sorry for me, you could have bought me a massage or something. A massage is a gift, not a job. I then told him that some times it is depressing being a single mother over half the time (with four kid's!). Yes it really sucks that while he is home he is doing other things besides me. I pissed him off sufficiently for him to forbid me from going to the Loan Office. I wanted to say, bite me buddy it's too late. A job by the way that you work 100% on commission, a job that will require great effort on my part. Mostly I just feel stupid right now and I am anything but stupid. Naive, negative, not stupid. I welcome any comments from the peanut gallery.

Blog of the Day

KBlog-The Kaos of Kevin's Psyche
Funny, cute Christain Blog - PArt of the childrens ministry program has links to cool things for kids

How to get a blog this button

BLOGGER - Knowledge Base - What is BlogThis! ?
All of you should have one of these it makes posting pages and links that you like to blog very easy as in click one button write what you want to decribe the site and hit one more button. Great for blogging on the fly if you are surfing and find something you want to share

Politically correct I am not

To those of you on this that don't know me quite as well as the others, you should be warned that I am rather mouthy when it comes to politics and religion. On the plus side, I am a big believer in the constitution which means I fully support your right not to agree with me. And I also like to argue, so opposing views are always welcome. Remember it is never personal and I promise not to be offended if you don't agree with me. Most of the time I just won't care, I think everybody should have an opinion and it would be really boring if they were all the same, so if you have something to say about current politics "Go for it!!!!"

Favorite Bumper stickers from current politics

Blog of the day

I Am Correct
Irreverent, funny and cooks - must be the perfect man

Ya' all don't be tryin to fix nothin

I had to chuckle as I read Brandy's email. God bless all even tempered men. I've yet to be attracted to one, so perhaps they were not exciting enough for me. Brandy needs a Margarita. I only find it slightly humorous because I have been through many similar situations with Kelly. Every appliance in our home looks like Frankensteins monster. I once had this terrible washing machine that made a sound like it had an airplane engine and was going to take off. I was so happy when it finally bit the big one. Kelly just bought another piece of crap to replace it so that he would have something to cuss at occasionally. Before Kelly I never heard of anyone refer to a washing machine as a filthy whore. Apparently washing machines are female. Maybe dryers are male, mine is not working at the moment (that stupid pimp!). I better hurry up and call the repair man before Kelly decides to fix it. I think I will tell him that the repair man said it was not worth fixing. Nah, he wouldn't believe that. For Holloween I will take pictures of my appliances so you all can be scared. I almost wrote Ya 'all. I am becoming a true Texan. I cannot believe that I have lived in Texas for eight years. The squirrel story, well it's too bad I filed it somewhere that I have no idea about. It was a little too squirrely anyway. Hello Shirley! I
am so special ED when it comes to computers. Computers are just cool type writers. My 5 year old son Blaze will be taking computer programming at his Gifted and Talented school next year,maybe he'll show me how to find my squirrel story. Then he can take the Algebra part of my loan officer test for me . After that he can start fixing the truck and the appliances. Too much fake sugar in the 0 carb candy bar but it tastes like actual chocolate. In my entire life I have never done a single thing because it would look good on a resume.

Welcome Shirley, this is fun having more action here. I am here working on the pole-dance sculpture today...had the girls here this weekend, we were all three singing together last night before they went back to Gary's...it was fun...Michelle Branch mostly... but then, I had a 'low' when they got picked up...so I decided to go out and karaoke...since I was all warmed up anyway, and that was fun. I need to load up a glaze kiln too, and have been working on the house, getting rid of lots still and it's all good.

Quote of the Day

Remember, Killing people is easy. It letting them live that is so damn hard.

The Saturday from hell & Hello Shirley

I feel for you Lydia, Never have found a breast pump that works. Loan officer will at least be a good thing for your resume. Maybe one of Kelly's schemes will work someday and you'll be rich and he will still be working all the time or at least that is how it always seems to work in my life. As for parenting advice - that's it for now until another wave crosses into my brain and forces me to write more gibberish. However I am always willing to give advice if you ask - won't guarantee it is good advice but everyone who knows me knows I will always spout if asked. I still want the story with the squirrels.

We have a new writer gracing us with her wisdom - Everybody give Shirley a big hello - Shirl if you want a bio on the page send your short sentences to me of what you want it too say otherwise I will make one up. Scary thought isn't it. Les is dealing fine, Baby sitting for the next several years wasn't what we were really planning for this stage of our life but I am sure everything will work out in the end. So far April and Baby are doing fine. We have about 8 weeks left to go. She starts baby and Lamaze classes in the next 2 weeks. Baby shower is on April 18th. All of you are welcome to come and invitations will go out this week. Please come, so far we have about 8 people from moms side and the other 40 are from dad's so we need all the company we can get. There is a picture of her and her father on the blog if you look in the march archives. Pretty decent pic even if I did take it. She has refused any good belly shots so far but I will get at least one before it is over. Maybe I can talk her into playing pin the pacifier on the belly button and I will blow up a picture of it for posterity. For some reason I am doubting she would agree.

A really bad Saturday,

It really started Thursday, Truck started running like shit and have engine serviced light kept coming on. Trying to save us a few bucks since we just gave it a 500.00 fuel pump, my hubby in his infinite wisdom drove it to autozone for the free computer check which would have been great but of course the light went out when he got there so of course it would not give the proper codes to tell us what was actually wrong. The men at the auto shop and les discussed it and decided that it probably needed a tune up so 90.00 later we have new plugs, wires, distributor cap etc... The truck did in fact need these items so, so far so good. Les spent Friday afternoon working diligently to replace all the parts he had bought expecting the truck to run better when done. Too bad it didn't when he was done it was knocking up a storm and still running like shit. Needless to say he wasn't happy. Then came Saturday

I woke up at 4AM in tears and pain from cramps PMSing and bitchy and wanting to kill my husband for not providing me with enough sex the prior week to make the cramps go away. So I am up crying like an idiot over everything wrong in my life. Stayed up till 6 and went back to bed - Two days later and he still doesn't know I was pissed but then his powers of observation were never that great. - At any rate get back up at 9, still pissy and crying over nothing. Looked real good with those big puffy eyes for work. Postman wanted to know if I had a problem with allergies. When morning is over Les goes out to work on the truck again already wondering why he didn't just take it to the mechanic and as he is taking out spark plugs he had just put in he realizes that his problem is that one of them got in too tight The piston hit it and broke the top part off inside the Cylinder So now rather than looking at a 100 tune up we are looking at a 300.00 rip down of the heads to remove the stupid spark plug from the engine.

For those of you who know my husband well you know his very low level boiling point and after he takes off on the rant of life sucks Blah Blah bLah getting angrier by the second I get to become the comforting wife and calm him down luckily after 22 years I am pretty good at this but I hate the fact that I have to do it. I was the one feeling miserable that day and damn it just once I would like to be the bitch for the whole day when everyone else feels good so I can trash their day for them.

I told him God was going to keep making things like this happen until he learned the art of acceptance and gained the ability to just move on without it bothering him. He replied "Not a fucking chance in hell" Then we sent him off to a nap, the safest way to let his anger dissipate. I can called one of my crazy teenage friends requesting he bring something over to make les feel better. Which he did, he also brought a little grabber thing to get the part out of the piston (didn't work) but just having his crazy hyperactive ass here made les start thinking better. HE had to fix it or the kid would never leave. He did finally get it out by removing the plug telling the boy to stick his head over the engine and watch to see if it came out and then he turned on the engine. The piston shot that little piece of metal right up in the air and out of the engine, damn near hitting the boy in the face who was watching the engine - can't believe he was stupid enough to do that anyway.

vehicle still runs like shit but at least we are back to the 100.00 tune up. Les was happy in more ways than one and the night ended on a much better note. Except that I still haven't gotten sex not that I want it at the moment. I wish menopause would hurry up and finish because this on again of again bullshit is driving me nuts.... I did get to end the night with an official wifely I told you so on his getting so pissed off. It really isn't worth it, certainly not worth hanging onto the way he does. I do admit he has gotten better now it only lasts for a few hours when I first met him it could last for days, if not years. But then that is a problem when you marry a barbarian even a prim and proper Victorian one and I still wouldn't trade him for the world.

Kites Cats and Fat

I spent the afternoon celebrating Aramanna Todd's sixth birthday. Guess what I bought her? A big beautiful kite, it may carry her away. It was a box kite that looked like a Pegasus. She really dug it, thanks Brandy. I would not have thought of a kite, had I not read your story. Aramanna has been in and out of foster homes and is currently living with her mother. I think about her family a lot. In many ways her future is uncertain. But then again isn't everyone's? I guess I sometimes live under the illusion of certainty. Change is constant and so is God, it's all good. I cheated on my low carb diet and ate a piece of cake. I don't want the body of a super model, all I want is to fit into my old jeans. My old jeans are my new skinny jeans but before I became pregnant they were my I ate too much at Christmas had to buy new pants fat jeans. If I do not go to bed the status of the ice cream in the freezer is going to change. I cannot wait for Kelly to come home, I miss that man. I emailed Kelly a picture of a cat in a rescue in Houston that looks like my old kitty Moo-Moo. He said, "Get her if you want her". I just might. Maybe he can get her on the way home from work. It will be nice to have a cat around the house again.

Blog pick of the day

All things....Christie : Yes, but no sprinkles! For every sprinkle I find, I shall kill you! This took 4 tries to find most of the blogs out ther today were really boring or in a foreign language I couldn't read. This one is a college girl full of piss and vinegar as my grandma used to say

Silly Flash Game of the Day

Albino Blacksheep - Flash / Save Them Goldfish!
I liked the george bush mini clip shooter better but sometimes it is fun to save the local wildlife

Gosh Lydia, Brandy is right, we have a lot in common (housekeeping for one)...I've been turning over a new leaf here, in my current situation, cleaning up crap from the past ten (or maybe it's twenty) years. Dumping stuff I once thought was important, but it's just baggage now. It looks better and it feels good. Of course, I have a reason for this new energy...I don't have my kids here, most of the time...and at times I wonder why I want them here so much, when they do come here...I end up picking up plates, pop cans, etc....
Not so much for Leesie (14) anymore, sometimes her friends...but still for Aliya (she is 10).

I understand that Gary has a new rule in their house...no food upstairs (snicker, wonder how long that will last....)

I notice my daughter started a blog, Elyse's blog...and it's on my page...wonder if she read ours.... and I have to say, it was such a pleasure to see Josh and meet Amber today. What a couple of cuties! Gosh I am glad I'm not 20-something anymore....

More Of Lydia's Whining

After reading B's last entry I have come to the not so shocking realization that I could use some real mentoring from this babe. Brandy needs to write a book about her parenting philosophy (it would sell). Activated my card and set up paypal. The real question is should I really receive money for being insane? Though I'd love a day off, which sadly I have not had recently. On Tuesday Kelly announced that I should become a Mortgage Loan Officer. I have always said that my husband is a horrid sales person, but after the sales job that he did on me I have reconsidered. I have some how ended up doing lots of crazy stuff that I never would have done by my own volition. This is not a bad thing per say but at the moment I am left scratching my head thinking. How the hell did this happen? All summer I listened to the one that I love talk about a real estate investment mentoring program that he wanted to do because he believed it could be the ticket!~ I was skeptical, not that I was unsupportive but because this program cost about as much as a hot tub and consequently he found out about it over the internet. Not to mention the fact that Kelly is addicted to as I call them get poor fast schemes. In any case, I researched the program and gave him the thumbs up. Little did I know that I would be the one doing 89.5% of all the learning/research/work. Every Sunday @ 4:30 PM I talk to my very knowledgeable real estate mentor. My new motto is, Just say no. Apparently I do not really understand the word no. It just doesn't come out of my mouth. For when my darling one called me and announced that I would be attending 16 hours of Power Training to pass the Loan Officer test and handed me a job application I did not inform him of the new motto. His selling points were. 1)Make your own hours 2)Bring kids to work 3)Get out of the house. So that's where I've been the passed few days. It was horrid being away from the Ranger man for eight hours at a time. The breast pump I bought really sucked or actually it did not suck enough and that was not fun. Although my little black bag did start to spontaneously start to vibrate making it's vacuum noise loudly in class (sounded like a strange sex toy). That had some entertainment value. The nice things that have come of all this are that Nancy (Kelly's Mom) spent a whole day with Ranger. I am hoping that he used his irresistible baby charms on her and that she will actually desire to be his grandma. I also cleaned my house in anticipation of her visit. Her first visit ever. I am the worlds worst housekeeper. Loved by the roaches of the world. I would like a clean house, I really would. Poor organizational skills+tired mommy=chaos. I think that my writing would truly suffer if I had no complaints. My personal journal is a collection of elation, and complaints. That's just life. It's not often divinely inspiring. Sometimes it's incredibly beautiful and sometimes it's a bunch of crap, but every morning I wake up and I know that I am loved by God and I feel so blessed. I am imperfect, and still I am loved. I am praying that I can be more loving to all of the other imperfect souls in the galaxy.

Please go on.... and....could you be my mommy in my next life?

Another Boring day at the Storage Units & Memories of raising children

Only 25 left to go before I can finally have Sundays off so I wish the moving season would start soon. Working 7 days a week is not bad when you are working form your home but after 8 months Sundays off would be really really nice. Emily was kicking up a storm today in Aprils belly. Pregnancy is still amazing to me. That something so perfect can grow inside you and then turn into a human being sounds like something out of a fantasy novel. Its been fun to watch. Very glad I am not having any more of my own. Don't even feel the slightest urge to have more children anymore. I like my nice quiet peaceful adult life. Kids are fun to play with but walking around naked and being able to go to the bathroom by yourself (occasionally) is just as good if not better as you get older. Must be a hormone thing. When I was young and Stupid I wanted 7 Kids, 1 for each day of the week. After two Les got fixed and I really didn't want him too. I would have liked at least one more, now I am sooooo glad that he did. I loved being pregnant and I loved nursing but once they passed six months they weren't much fun for me until they were about 10.

I was a mean mother they did every chore in the house starting when they were 4 years old. I started them on bathrooms, Give a can of scrubbing bubbles and a wash cloth to a child and tell them to spray it everywhere and they think it is fun at least for the first few time. I never paid an allowance because work is something you do as part of a family. Their curfew was 10pm until they were 16 and 11PM until they moved out. I see no reason why a parent who has to go to work the next morning should have to stay up to worry about a kid. For most of their childhood they did not have cable and for a large part there was no TV at all. There was no soda there was no candy except for special occasions and holidays. I moved them to a farm when they were 12 and 9, 5 miles from the nearest town. I made them buy their own cars and pay for all their own expenses and insurance. They have both had jobs since they were 14 and worked in the family business before that. They have both survived all my harshness and done well, Hubby and I are amazed at times that they turned out so good when we were such rotten children from such screwed up families ourselves. There were times when I was too harsh. Third grade when Joshua was paddled every night because he wouldn't behave in school and other things that happened in a spur of Madness of whatever he had done at the moment. They was no explicit privacy, as long as they lived in my house and didn't pay rent I could walk into their rooms at any time and it damn well was going to be kept clean (this worked better with josh than April) I was not perfect, not by a long shot but I did try.

The things I did give them were honesty and support and unconditional Love and homemade food. I never lied to them about life and never believed any of this touchy feely self esteem crap. When I told them their grandfather was a drunk and proceeded to explain drunkenness and spousal abuse to my young children my mother came unglued. I tried to make sure they had the information they needed to grow up. There were never any taboo subjects in our house, sex, drugs, etc.. We discussed it all at such a young age there was never any feeling of embarrassment for any of us. At ten I gave Josh his first book on sex - Sexually transmitted Diseases and what you need to know.- Even I hadn't know advanced syphilis could look so bad. The book made its point and my son always practiced safe sex. I told them that if they ran away I would hunt them down and drag them home because they weren't getting out that easy, I told them if they joined a gang I would kill all the gang members and they would have nothing to belong to. I told them if they were ever strung out on drugs I would tie them up in the basement until they understood that wasn't allowed and became human again. And my all time favorite "Go ahead and call child protective services - But make sure you pack because I won't be the one moving.

I taught them honor and solidarity. To respect people who earned it and to not be anyone's pawn just because they are older, richer or hold some powerful position. I taught them to love their country in all its glory not just the rhetoric you hear today. That being an American meant you could questions the laws, that you didn't have o stand up for the pledge, go to public school or do anything just because someone wanted you to. I thought them to respect the government within its constitutional limits and to question those who abused their power. I taught them that there is in the end family, and then there is everybody else. And that family does not have to be blood but that we choose our true family as we grow. I taught them the difference between reality and fiction. I taught them how to shoot a gun, so that they would know the damage they can cause. I taught them that there is in the end no excuse and that they must take responsibility for all their own actions because I was not willing to shoulder them blame.

I gave them so many lectures (my favorite form of punishment) that they have them numbered in their heads and they know what mom and dad would think of anything they would ever try to do, or as my son summed it up after the columbine shooting when a shrink stopped him in a mall to ask him how he felt about it all. "If I did something like that my parents would stand inline to kick my ass" And he was correct.

The best three rules of parenting I ever learned are these
1. Never pick a fight you can't win
2. Have consistent rules that end in walls so that they hit something and know it when they mess up
3. Be brutally honest to yourself and them - give them reason they will understand and grow from for things you want done

Example - It is always a good thing to know where your kids are but parents are afraid to ask because the kids do their silly you don't trust me routine. Okay so maybe we don't always trust them but there are valid reason for knowing where someone is, even as an adult I rarely go anywhere that someone doesn't know about. The easiest and most honest reason you can give a child in this case and have them readily accept is that it is not a matter of trust it is a matter of emergency. If for example your father has a heart attack I need to know where you are in order to find you before I go to the hospital. (Even when my children were 16 & 17 years old I still required name address and phone number of where they were going to be)

Oh well enough parenting for one night- besides my fingers are tired and you are all probably bored reading this rant.

God I love Kids

This is Donas Story but I had to preserve it for all time (The Mother is her daughter and CJ is her grandson). How I wish I was there

One of the best moments while I was in tx

- picture anal retentive "I'm in charge" mother standing face to face with me at the back door. I have Cj on my hip - we have been in the back yard flying little styrofoam airplanes. she is ranting at him about something - he has a styro airplane in his hands and is patiently listening to the rant. finally, i guess he's had enough ( i know i had) and lets the plane fly, straight at his mother's face, which bounces perfectly off the point directly between her eyes. The look on her face was priceless and you can't imagine how I choked on the hysterical laughter that was ready to burst out of me. Needless to say, after a couple of "UH! OH! UH!"s - she picked the plane up and threw it in the trash. She then proceeded to rant about how his punishment for that was the plane went in the trash and he wasn't ever going to see it again. When she finally stopped for air, he turned to her, hand on hip, and quietly and calmly announced, "Well, you know what Mom? I"ll just buy another one." and walked away.

I know I know, you can always pay, or otherwise convince some poor sucker to climb up there and do it for you but it isn't brain surgery and I was looking forward to the feeling of accomplishment (and the cool air too)... but OH WELL...

The sculpture turns out to be a five- six inch gag gift, a figure of a woman doing a pole dance with big silicone breasts...wearing a red thong bathing suit and platform high heels to match. I took the job, quoted $200 and got a hundred cash down. Whooo HOOO I told the guy, he got the RIGHT artist to do the job! Now, to create this gem...I'll shoot a digi when it's done.

Blog Help

Heard complaints from a few of you that have lost blogs after spending effort to write them. I know this sucks it has happened to me too. The easiest way I know to prevent it is : (Expanded instrux for the less techy of the group)
Before you click post and publish
Right click over your text
Click select all
Right click again
Click copy
Now click post and publish

Not a perfect solution but workable if your blog gets caught in a server overflow dump you can right click again in an empty new post and paste and then publish it again. At least you don't lose stuff this way.

Fun Site of the Day

Bush Shoot-Out - Miniclip.com
Grab your gun and defend the whitehouse. Just go see you know you want to

Blog of the Day

Irregular Times: News Unfit for Print
Great political site for the more liberal leaning of us. Have to read "# How the Homosexual Agenda Destroyed My Marriage"

I have had an interesting day here. Tried to do the manly, independent thing and replace a fuse in the swamp cooler (on the roof)...after a couple false starts, I got the new fuse in and darn, if it did NOT fix the problem...BOO...so, while pouting, feeling worthless, the phone rang...a customer asking about a small figurine (sculpture) commission and inviting me to discuss it over lunch tomorrow. I agreed, and felt SO MUCH BETTER! Now, who to ask to take a look at the cooler....hmmmmmm....it's hot here... Off to pack up to do a raku firing for fifteen Indian Scouts and teach a throwing class at the same time....Pottery teacher WONDERWOMAN!

Be a good wife and maybe he won't fool around - Gag Me Please

iWon - News
We think we are so liberated and then this stuff comes back to haunt.

Attention Deficit Disorder

It is at times like this that I feel like the bubble head that Kelly sometimes remarks that I am. I feel inept.

Oh where oh where has my little blog gone?
Oh where oh where could it be?
It's words were short.
But its wit was long.
Oh where oh where could it be?

Once again I have somehow managed to lose a blog, it was no literary masterpiece, but it was mine damn it! A little piece of me. Just words, meaningless little characters on a page. I tried to set up yahoo messenger and of course I just felt frustrated and confused. Maybe I like being frustrated and confused. Maybe I'm lazy, who knows? Then I went to paypal and remembered that the one credit card in the house that has my actual name on it has not been activated. I wonder if I could use one of Kelly's? Okay I admit it, my husband is more than somewhat controlling. Last time I asked him to activate my card (it's a joint account) he said no, because he already has cards and I would just lose the card anyway. If I want something he says that I can just pay cash because we have plenty of money. Kelly Nolen really believes that this girl with ADD can handle nothing. While it is true that I lose my car keys in the house 3 times a day on average. I'll tell him that I have to activate the card tonight. Maybe I'll just do it and then listen to him groan about it. He groans all the time anyway. I am going to go to the phone and activate the card right now.

Good Morning Everyone

Almost enjoying this getting up early everyday to blog and play with my babies(sugargliders). Learned last night that one should not tease a young sugar glider with a piece of chicken to coax it back into its cage. Lucky for me when Riley got a hold of my finger the chicken was trapped between the finger and the teeth. Felt like I had a damn snapping turtle stuck on the end of my finger. shaking it around to try and get him off. He didn't break the skin but it is still sore and bruised. Les of course laughed.

Added a messenger box to the blog yesterday so that we can chat and others can chat. Easy way to post messages. Thinking about putting our bios on a separate page with more info. Then I would have more room for other permanent links. Would like to put up favorite links from all of you so if you have some you want me to use let me know.

Missing Dona, She is always working lately and hasn't blogged in a while. Talk to her occasionally but I still miss her. Someday when we are old we will live together and then I will be annoyed at her constant presence. (never Happen).

Yesterday I had a whopping two customers, can you say boring. Boring is a reason we got this job but I still haven't gotten used to planning my life around it. You have to be perpetually prepared for a customer so you can't both take naps or have wild sex (unless you leave your clothes on). My slowest computer is in the office and I end up working on it because the hubby is constantly playing stupid games with lots of annoying noise. Very hard to write or concentrate with aliens blowing up on the speakers. Will try to do more work on the blog and other websites today. Lydia I need you to go to paypal.com and open an account so I can set up all the donation buttons at the same time, If you need help call me, you also still need to set up yahoo messenger. Mishy and Dona I will need your user names and passwords or you can set up your own and send me the Html to put in the blog template.

Have to go delete the 100s of offers I have received today for bigger breasts and penises not to mention the xanax ads before the morning exercise routine
will try and blog again later.

B's Blog of the day

re:invention BLOG
Great Small business web site for women. May put this on the permanent links list if you all agree. she has done a lot of work on this one.

B's Site of the day - A place to post fantasy writing

Wizards.COMmunity Boards - Once Upon a Time

Interesting place - anyone is allowed to post and the general public rates them. lots of so-so material but some good stuff thrown in to. This is just the creativity board on the site the rest of the site deals with role playing games. Probably a site Amory would like MIshy if he isn't already a member.

I tend to write/talk/sing/vent/spew to anyone who will listen to me these days, in the interest of purging and moving onward. It appears to be working, as I have been feeling much happier, content, motivated lately. Took my four kids to dinner last night, it was wonderful, as always, they are a joy. Working on the turtles sculpture...did I mention that? Cleaning my house/studio....customer stopped by to check out a sculpture of hers that I fired...very beautiful thing, maybe I will photo it, after I get my software back on this computer...wish I knew where that cd was....I need office, and Eudora and Photowise for my cam.... Back to the cleaning here...hot today...

Web Site of the day - I like the postcards and the glossary under games the rest is pretty much meaningless to me

HARS mag - Postcards

I Lost the damn tweezers again

Things I hate about growing old. Used to have really fine hair now I have a beard growing in my chin, not to mention the mustache. Nothing like running your hands over your face and having them ripped apart by stiff beard hair you didn't know was there. Okay so blood isn't dripping because of it but it is still an annoying thing. And the worst part is it won't go away. You pluck and it grows back, faster stronger and stiffer than before. By the time I am 50 they will have bionic powers and be capable of doing chin ups on their own. And chemical removal is not an option as I am allergic to everything at least everything made for the face. So I tweeze them as they grow in. This is something I try to do in relative privacy as men generally aren't into watching women rip hair out of their face, they prefer the if I don't see it ,it doesn't exist world. Which of course is why women work so hard to cover up everything men don't need to see.

At any rate, Took an early shower yesterday at about 11am, Shaved everything below the neck and went outside to get some sun. All I have with me or on me are a book, a towel, and the tweezers (of which I have 4 pairs but only one pair works at any given time) Pulled a few of the really long and annoying ones and then got wrapped up in my book, (Currently Reading Little Big - And yes MIshy you were right it is a good book, I think Les will have to read it too.) Went to go inside and the damn tweezers had disappeared. Now its not like I was wearing clothes or had any place for them to go they just vanished into thin air. I have now been searching for 2 days and they are gone gone gone. I mean all there was, was concrete, one chair, a towel and a book so where the hell did they go. Maybe the wind ate them. Going to exercise and shower nw so I will be ready to walk the 30 feet to my office.

But I like Corney, I want the story about the Squirrels

Nothing exciting to day. Sunday is the closest thing I get to a day off just 30 more units and its all day sunday at the beach. I may not get to go to china but Ican go to the beach. Getting new Swim Suit this year decided 4 years in the same one is being more than frugal enough. Celebrating the loss of 20 pounds - too bad I still need to lose 20 more and if I lose 38 more the husband has promised to take me danicing. He made this deal 20 pounds ago when I wasn't trying quite so hard - It was all a diabolical plan on my part, he says he is still not worried. :0) I feel for you Lydia with all those kids I think both you and Michelle are crazy. You two would like each other, There are a lot of similarities in your lives and views of the world. I have been wanting to pick a monthly cause to put up a donate button for and I think If no one objects we are going to request money for Lydia to get a day off. All of the rest of us are years beyond children with diapers and have probably had more sleep. We will ask for donations so she can have a night to herself - enough to pay for the babysitter and whatever else she wants. Then every month we can trade and see if we can get donations to whatever we need I think MIshy needs one for her trip to china. Maybe if I can figure out what donna and I want we can put up one for each of us and then we can all beg accordingly.

:)

Thank you for the words of welcome. I am feeling good today, less exhausted and more excited to be alive. Today was beautiful, Kelly cleaned the house and that in itself is pretty lovely. We went out to look at some real estate with all children in tow. It is always good to get Kelly out of the house, he tends to hide out at home brood over things. My husband suffers from depression and sometimes I feel as though it may be contagious. I certainly allow his attitude to effect mine more often than I should. Inspired by Brandy's kite memoir I wrote a Blog about the squirrels in my back yard. I then deemed it too corny to subject any one else to, so I saved it for myself. I have absolutely nothing to whine about so I feel almost at a loss for words. Should have included whiny in my bio. Usually I am very reserved about my writing and am reluctant to share it with others. I'm thankful for Brandy's invitation to Blog. So this is a big deal for me. I'm patting myself on the back. I'm sharing my writing with other live human beings. Go Lydia! I am my most enthusiastic supporter.

A new blogger! Welcome Lydia, loved reading about your family...I can certainly relate to the four unruly kids and the 'slightly' controlling husband (or so I used to think mine was, thinking VERY controlling...these days...as I slowly become more aware of how MUCH it affected me)... wow... and, in our separation, I see more clearly the effects, on our incredible kids...and some of them sadden me, because I think he passes some of his weakness on to them by virtue of that controlling nature. Fears..are so prominent in his life, they take over and rule. I try to be understanding, but I am still so very angry at his actions and cruelty that it is still hard for me. Detachment is a'happenin' though...at least it sure feels less like a bunji cord, pulling me back to him....

memories of my youth #2

Kites - March is always the best time for kites - I remember the kites of my youth well. One of my earliest coherent memories is of a neighborhood kite and rubber band airplane extravaganza. I was probably about 4 or 5 and my mother said this only happened once so she doesn't know why I remember it but it was an awesome day. The neighborhood was 1 block from Central and baseline at the foot of the South Mountains in Phoenix. (This area was the boonies at that time mostly orchards and commercial flower gardens.) Our street was only one block long. It was a beautiful spring weekend and everybody had their kites out. A whole Armada of colors flew in the sky. I had a wind up balsa Airplane (I still love that thing) we all ran up and down the streets working hard to get the kites to fly in Phoenix's airless sky. It was a cotton Candy sort of day. The type usually found only in movies, the ones you can't imagine having in real life that make you look back upon your childhood as if it were a dream and wishing you could escape back there. As I grew older I learned how to make my own kites, Treasures made from old newspapers dowels rods, and some torn up sheets tied together for a tail. The longer the tail the better it flew. I can still remember other visions of kite flying only by the kites, I have no idea where I was flying them just the kites.

Mishaps - When I was 9 my Stepfather bought this huge Box kite kit and after building it he took all of us out to a field and we let it fly, It was high in the air when he asked me if I want to take over. Being a kid who wanted more than anything to fly the kite I took it, unfortunately the kite was only a wee bit smaller than I was and had the wind in its wake I let go. It flew higher and father that I thought possible. Took over an hour to find it but find it we did. I don't really remember how I acted that day probably my usual smart mouth self but that brash young exterior hid a child who was very truly sorry for letting go and was infinitely happy when the kite was found. The hunt became an adventure in its own right.

There is a farm in Oklahoma that wore the tattered remnants of a Huge shark in a tree that the children let capture it.
I have had dragons large and small, trick kites short and wide but the kites of my childhood held together by elmers glue and bits of wood and string are by far still my favorites.

To this day kites can pull me back into my childhood mind, that happy carefree place where birds talk to me from their branches, meadows are magical and I will never grow up.

Mommy Dearest

I do not identify with my mother. Not even a little bit. Sometimes I wonder how she could have even given birth to me. We are about as different as two people could possibly be. I am practical, she is frivolous. She talks, I listen. I talk and she interrupts to say how whatever I said somehow relates to her. I forgive her, she holds a grudge. Yet still like a child I desire for her to take an interest in who I am. She lies to people about my life, like the imaginary daughter that she has created is somehow better than me. I am vain, she is insecure. Though vanity and insecurity may be related. I like my life, it is not perfect. Sometimes it's not fulfilling but for the most part, it's pretty damn beautiful. At times I suspect that she is jealous of me, and that is sickening and perplexing. I cannot imagine ever being Jealous of Lindy. I am so proud of my daughter! I see myself in her and at the same time I see this totally different new person. That really knocks me out. I am enjoying watching her grow. When my mother visited this summer and she tried to impose her will upon and manipulate Lindy, I was livid! My mom keeps asking to take Lindy for the summer. I think not. Oh,yes mother I will give you the opportunity to stunt my daughters emotional growth. Yes, you may repress her and damage her self esteem. Yes, teach her to be shallow and vapid. I don't think so. Yeah I'm a little bit bitter :). I'm working on it. Kelly says that when we feel like strangling someone we should pray for them. My prayer list just keeps getting longer and longer.

Lydia's Bio
Knows herself but is confused by others
chronically inattentive
Loves her somewhat controlling husband (#3) and her 4 beautiful unruly kids
Over analyzes everything
Loves to write
Wishes she could go on an adventure
Prays

In case anyone needs the actual web page address here it is

Wisdom of the Ages - Women, Young and Old

Hello Lydia

Lydia you wrote, I am so happy, I keep inviting other people but some are shy and some are just lazy and they haven't written yet. Remember you don't get a bio unless you actually write something people. Speaking of Bios I put up a preliminary one for you if you want it altered let me know. When you get better versed on computers and start learning web design I will make you an administrator and you can change whatever you want., Until then you can edit any of your own posts you just can't affect anybody elses stuff. If you want to see something changed just send me an email, message me (PS You still need to set up yahoo messenger) or just blog it and I will take care of it.

Quick rules of the blog are as follows:
1. You are not allowed to be politically correct. Write what you want how you want and I promise nobody will be offended. Okay maybe they will be offended but So what!!!! Why should you care.
2. There are no rules.

Just to help you feel at home the following are not politically correct but are our true opinions at the time. Both are from an ongoing poetry project called Soul of a woman. Feel free to blog or send me anything you would like to put in the collection

Concerning Step Children We have the Poetry Offerings of Dona in a quaint poem titled "Stepmother" I know you will understand (PS. Now that they are all grown she likes them better but occassionaly we still hear Dona Scream)

Round gather my children all so dear,
The tale of stepmommy & children, you will hear.
Not of her blood, not of her bone,
Why, oh why, won't they leave her alone?
She ran, she hurried away from her chubby old ex,
To find a life of quiet boredom and raucous sex.

The perfect man she thought she had found,
But his fucking children keep kept coming around.
"I can't stand it - I won't take anymore!"
She screamed as she dashed right at the door.

"Stop!" he said, his voice full of love,
"You've forgotten your dog, your cat & your dove."
"Keep them, you bastard!" she said with a shriek,
"To escape those kids, all I love you can keep!"


Claws of steel, ripping skin
Teeth of pins, chewing flesh
Beserker rage inflaming her brain.
Deep, spiritual satisfaction, as
their blood runs down her chest.

Good stepmother.
************************
The other offering we have for you today is a distillation of feeling after two years of hormonal crying therapy. I love my husband but the poem still holds true in some areas. He has tried to change but in the end he is still a man!!!!!!!!!!!

A Husband's Lies

You say you've always wanted
a real grown up girl
A woman with opinions,
her own place within the world

But your actions say different
so I give you what you need.
I play the perfect little wife
Applaud your every deed

Your pain is always greater
your facts are always straight
If I speak my mind, I'll pay later
So what would be the point.

I will follow where you lead me
Your desires my every whim
Some day I hope you will hear me
chances though, are slim

I tried to tell you everything
My dreams, my hopes,
the heights to which I aspire
You filter my words
through your own madness
Never hearing my desires

You whisper softly in the night
Please don't leave me, please
Yet you wake up in the morning
and push me away with ease

I will walk this world in silence
Only answering your pleas
You will never notice
There is nothing left of me

I am a carefully crafted machine
Left in The rain to rust
But you will never notice
Until I turn to dust

My first Auction

Okay not really my first, as I am a seasoned auction buyer from when I had the eBay business going. But the first at the Storage Units I manage here. Went well kinda hectic lots of paperwork so very busy day. But all done now as long as they come and get the stuff and haul it all off.

April picked out her crib today very very pretty. Visited the hospital yesterday and was told how young I looked by all the passing nurses. Nice to hear but I'll bet they say that to all the Grandmas. They have to give us something so we don't think about how old we are. Doesn't really bother me much. The hardest part is just imagining my daughter as a mother. I know she is perfectly old enough and responsible enough but damn it just yesterday she was a baby herself. As hard as this has been to truly grasp - I try imagining my mothers mind when she first found out I was pregnant at 12. Easier to imagine my daughter. I am lucky my mother let me live and I can hear the laughter in her mind when I told her I was old enough to handle it. Talk about not having a clue. I could have done it but the sacrifice to myself would have been great in ways I could not have imagined at 12. Not that I had a whole lot more imagination at 15 when I did it again but at least by then I could legally hold down a job.

And in the end it worked out well, I love my kids and would trade them for the world but now I do understand what I gave up to have them. I also understand just how young I really was and how stupid in so many ways.

A youngun from England - B's Blog Pick of the day

Kissing Chaos

Okay so its not christmas but its still cute - Silly pick of the day

Holiday Snowglobe
Okay so its not christmas but its still cute
Move it up and down and watch the little men bounce off the glass. Fun stuff

Technically Challenged

I was going to title this technically retarded and then I thought that this might not be politically correct. So, I'm technically challenged. Literally and in so many ways. My first hurried blog exists somewhere in the cyber world for I know not where it went. I titled it, "She has lost her mind". Indeed, what little mind I have I cannot find. This is not the result of too many drugs only too many children or rather too little time for myself. I do not know exactly when it was that I began to dream of such things as an afternoon to myself or a trip out of town. Recently I've began to regard these things as I once regarded a visit to a foreign country. I know this time will pass all too quickly but I find myself mourning the adventures of my youth. I do not know what wisdom I have to impart, the little that I know for sure is that I know very little. The most interesting part of my day was finding a frog in my bathroom. The kids dug it! They are much like myself. Blaze said, "That little green guy can hop!"
Kelly 2 said, "Ribbit"
Lindy said, "Can we keep it mom?"
I persuaded them to liberate Kermit in the back yard after he had been sufficiently traumatized. Kelly 1 is snoozing, he's on my shit list right now. I was suffering from kid overload when he got home and wanted nothing more than an a half an hour to myself to decompress. So naturally I became
unbalanced when he would not hold the Ranger man. Ranger finally conked out and I laid him down. Then sweet Kelly wanted to be held.
I thought that I was online, apparently that was not the case because the phone just rang. It's my mom and I could write a book about her.

I'm going to try to be better, I so much need to journal...at least SOME...and a paragraph is very non-intimidating....really....honest.... Today I am going to buy a harddrive (and call you Brandy)....and clean clean clean..studio and house...girls here this weekend and workshops coming up...MUST FOCUS. Norma being here helps with that, nice to have help.

Making turtles for a commission, a mama and three babies...mama about 3" across...seventy five bucks, paid in advance, for Mother's Day, cool huh!? Love making little animals...

Brandy's Blog of the day pick- Just My Opinion

Just My Opinion
Interesting and opinionated, just like I like em. DOn't particularly agree with them all but a good read.

I'm not fat...but I will blog...been dealing with my stupid computer here..hoping Ms Brandy will do a phone consultation tonight to help me get some of it straightened out.... Got a trial-roommate, a young divorcee, 24, she's pretty cool, so far we get along well...she is helping me clean/organize for her keep, for a month trial.

Studio is doing well. Starting to really get excited about gearing up for China...YIKES! Two workshops before then I really need to clean out the glaze studio BADLY.

Typical MOther Daughter Confab - Warts and All

April: good morning

dragonez: Are you sure I have to go exercise in 4 minutes and that doesn't sound so good

April: i got to sleep till 745 im sure
April: i never get to sleep past 7

dragonez: Thats about when I woke up
dragonez: Have you blogged yet

April: nnnno i havent really had time

dragonez: That the excuse we alll use

April: most likely cuz its true

dragonez: I invited shirley but I haven't heard from her yet

April: i didnt think you would

dragonez: In my case it may be true but I also put it off as I do all my writing
dragonez: Didn't think I would invite her or didn't think she would write

April: well ihave been working and by the time i get home mikes he and that does not make the best writeing atmosfer

dragonez: I know the feeling as I have your father playing loud noisy games I told heim I am going to buy him a head set
But I have been trying to work thorugh it anyway 1 paragraph doesn't exactly take long and even if all you doo is write I'm fat I'm Fat I''M Fat
dragonez: It still helps the blog along

April: lol okay

dragonez: Must go work out now and punish my body that atye the giant hersey bar with almonds this weekend and gained 4 pounds

April: i need to buy some black and white film

dragonez: Why

April: for when the baby come o love black and white pics
April: I*

dragonez: So take them on the digital and print them I can do that now
dragonez: Even on 4X6

April: i wanted a camera for x mas for a reason i dont really like the digital photos
April: they never turn out right

dragonez: No Prblem They do still sale balck and white film but I am doing Digital too
dragonez: Jusat because I can send them so quick

April: thats fine i dont care
April: in not talking like right when shes born just after were home

dragonez: Oky Dokey
dragonez: Got to go exercise now

Compulsive behavior 101

Does anyone else out there plan events down to conversations they will have in each and every circumstance that might happen at any given event. I hate social events I don't know what to say and to be honest don't usually care what most other people have to say. Nobody wants to have interesting discussions it is all just polite drivel and how much can you truly get to know someone in the 2 hours you have to be at a social event. Ugh They give me the willies. Not to mention the fact that my party planning skills are zilch unless all you want me to do is cook and maybe serve. I will even wear those cute little French maid outfits if I don't have to actually mingle. Since I don't know what to say I just sit and reel through conversations in my head and the more people the more conversations I have to have with myself get me into too many people and I just shut down look stupid and hang out at the buffet. It can be very exhausting and that is before I actually arrive and then there is making sure everything is done, luckily for this baby shower I will have my mother, you never think you are going to want your mother a a party when your young but then you grow up and realize what an ass you were growing up and that it is truly amazing that your parents let you live and didn't send you off to a nunnery somewhere. Back to my mother. She will be here and will save the day as usual, thank God because I do want the party to be nice. Children shouldn't have to suffer because of their parents phobias and I am quite capable of spending an afternoon with people I don't know and probably won't see again for at least a year if not longer, because they are family, and I suppose being family they will have to come to understand that really I am just a lunatic they haven't locked up yet and maybe just maybe they will grow to love me for the space cadet I truly am.
Everybody thinks I don't want the party because I don't like the family, I don't even know the family how could I not like them. My world where I am comfortable consist of a window looking out onto the rest of the earth, I have been looking through that window for a long time, very rarely do I go out it and sometime when I go out it is fun and happy and the world is a good place but then there are the other times when I feel like a shadow wandering through the masses never looked upon and only seen through the corner of your eye. And then there are those times when 22 years with my husband shows through and I say things I really really shouldn't. These happen more and more the older I get.

Kristin Thomas Spam Poetry

Kristin Thomas Spam Poetry

Great spam poetry- Cute Idea - Adult subject matter
Something to do with those 100s of unwanted emails I receive daily

April Test Blog

Testing 1 2 3

Hey, my computer is virus ridden again...so much for AVG, have it over at my girlfriend's today, cleaning it out, putting Norton's on and a regular firewall and will get rid of the M.E. os, and put 98 SE on instead....I am SO SICK of M.E.!!
More later, gonna go get some other work done since I have no computer to waste my time on this afternoon.....

Earth.ini corrupt . God.sys not found . Reboot Universe?>_

We're not in Kansas anymore!

Okay, so I was excited about Texas. I'd rather go to China!!! Mish - I"m so jealous, but yet so happy for you!! How exciting. I don't have anything new to report, but thought I should blog since I'm leaving tomorrow and won't have blog access or time for 8 days. (Like I do so much of it when I"m home!)
Brandy knows from the pictures I sent her (still waiting for that picture of April, by the way....) that Jaden McKenzie has turned into a red head. Well, quite by accident we will be a matching set while I'm there. Had my hair colored yesterday, by the same person and in the same manner I've had it done forever. As she was blowing it out, Joanne screamed, "Oh my God!" (Not something you ever want to hear while in a beauty salon chair or on a doctor's examining table.) Seems she forgot to add something and instead of 3 shades of blonde highlights, I am now a red head. She felt terrible, but in all fairness, she just had major surgery, is having complications, and not her usual efficient self. Besides, it's not like I won't be back in her chair in 4 weeks and she can fix it. It's just HAIR! I do think it's funny that Darrel has never given one hoot about what I do to my hair, but the only request he has ever made is don't go red - he HATES red hair! Somehow I doubt it will keep us from having hot monkey sex tonight, since I'm leaving for 8 days tomorrow.