Inspiration and Guidance

When you seek inspiration, it's ideas you want.  When you pray for guidance, it's ideas that show the way.  But you have to pay attention!

Ramblings

Ms B told me I had to get an Ipod...she knew I would love it and I do. Today I discovered that if I do a voice memo recording I can get a really decent recording of me playing music! My friend Cary bought a bass amp and has been jamming with me, very fun...I'll share some of that soon when I get a recording now that I figured out how!

Ideas

Any powerful idea is absolutely fascinating and absolutely useless until you decide to put it to work.

Conscience

Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness.  Listen to it carefully.

(Two today because I missed yesterday!)

Destiny

Destiny doesn't push you where you don't want to go.  You're the one who chooses.  Destiny's up to you.

Henry Ford

Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right. ~ Henry Ford

YouTube - Van Morrison Twilight Zone 1974 Live At Montreux Jazz Festival

Great rendition live...and a test of my Blog This button
I am going to get this song on my ipod and practice playing improvisationally on guitar

YouTube - Van Morrison Twilight Zone 1974 Live At Montreux Jazz Festival

Living as you wish...

You don't have to fight to live as you wish.  Live as you wish and pay whatever price is required.

For Ying and Mish

What is BlogThis! ? - Blogger Help

Problem Solving

No one can solve problems for someone whose problem is that they don't want their problems solved.

Today's quote - a little late. I've got the flu!

There are grand rewards for those who pick the high hard roads, but those rewards are hidden by years.  Every choice is made in the uncaring blind, no guarantees from the world around you.

Coherency

...is overrated, don't ya think? Maybe not...

I love all you guys and I guess it is good to try to get something out, even if it doesn't flow easily. I am trying, these days, to remember and enact using that knowledge that is so sharp edged but certain, that the only moment that counts is THIS one and nothing else matters but love. Bills don't matter, annoying people don't matter, annoyed people don't matter. If there is one thing that I can take away from the well of hurt and loss there is that. The fresh, searing part of the hurt will go away in time, but I have to hang onto the good things that also fade into the day to day worries and challenges and joys. That's not always easy to do. I am very grateful you all are out there (and in my heart).

Leaves

I try to transform my thoughts into written word, and I’m almost there but not quite. A sentence or two escapes and then I haven’t anything else to say and it’s not that there is a lack of moving, memorable moments in my life it is just that right now, writing is a lot harder for me. I cannot ever remember a time when I have been at a loss for words but it seems that is where I am right now. This is just the way it is for me at the moment.
The leaves this fall were lovely, I wish that I would have photographed them. Usually all I get to see of them are yellow dead hanging limp on branches, or the dry brown ones rolling by me on the pavement or dancing in the wind. This year we had an autumn and to me it was glorious, reds, wine, peach, fiery oranges it was a treat for my eyes. Most of the leaves are gone now but there is a small tree, I imagine it’s a maple but I don’t know a lot about trees. It has beautiful deep red leaves. I am glad every time I drive by it. Leaves make me happy, after they have fallen I love to watch the wind scoop them up and carry them away.

Victim

If it's never your fault, you can't take responsibility for it.  If you can't take responsibility for it, you'll always be its victim.

Fire For Mish

I keep trying to link this but it won't work. Go to www.poem hunter.com and search for songs about fire. There were a bunch of good ones.

To Learn

To learn anything, you must put aside the safety of your ignorance.

The Shards

This is a new pet project I am on...I want to put a studio band together...and we are going to have a 'pottery set', with appropriate songs...like...Bend Me Shape Me, The Wheels Go Round, and Fire. If you have any songs that fit into this please pass them along =)

Turns

The smallest turn today will take you to a dramatically different tomorrow.

Boredom

In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom.  It is not always an easy sacrifice.

Oscar Wilde

“Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities.”

Change

Before you'll change, something important must be at risk.

Unknown Truth

Not being known doesn't stop the truth from being true.

Problems

Avoid problems and you'll never be the one who overcame them.

My Christmas Wish List

All I want is one of these mirrors.  If anyone locates one, let me know. I'll send cash.  No expense spared.

World's Most Unique Travel Destinations

World's Most Unique Travel Destinations

Add to the list, B!

If you want to  meet someone who can fix any situation you don't like, who can bring you happiness in spite of what other people say or believe, look in a mirror, then say this magic word:

"Hello."

Life

Life does not require you to be consistent, cruel, patient, helpful, angry, rational, thoughtless, loving, rash, open-minded, neurotic, careful, rigid, tolerant, wasteful, rich, downtrodden, gentle, sick, considerate, funny, stupid, healthy, greedy, beautiful, lazy, responsive, foolish, sharing, pressured, intimate, hedonistic, industrious, manipulative, insightful, capricious, wise, selfish, kind, or sacrificed.

Life does, however, require you to feel the consequences of your choices.

Creative or Crazy? (I know which one I am, and it isn't creative...)

A creative mind makes uncommon connections.  So does a crazy mind.  A creative mind makes uncommon insightful connections.

Winston Churchill quote

“Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most times he will pick himself up and carry on.”

Winston Churchill

The Individual

The individual is always the exception. 
"Everybody can't, . . ." but anybody can.

I'm A Goofy Bitch

Went "to town" yesterday and slid off the black top, landing in a ditch. (We've had snow and sub zero temps here for several days.)  I put the pick up in 4 wheel drive low, but it seemed to me that I was only making my situation worse.  Cell phone to the rescue.  I called the beloved and said, "Can you come save me?  I'm in a ditch."  With a huge smile in his voice he said, "Well, you goofy bitch, what are you doing in the ditch?"
Within ten minutes he had arrived, hooked up the tow rope and pulled me out of the ditch. The entire time he smiled and laughed and gave me a hug and kiss before he jaunted back to work.  I think I'll keep him.  My ex would still be telling me how stupid I am and how much trouble I caused him.

Responsibilities

The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, "I've got responsibilities."

One Challenge

One challenge of your adventure on earth is to rise above dead systems: wars, religions, nations, destructions - to refuse to be part of them, and express instead the highest self you know how to be.

In living color

The mark of me being a child is by honoring thy mother by getting something she would hate. Lol I love you mom but I'm getting a tattoo today.

Questions

Is this my highest sense of right?
Is this the direction I want most to go?
Is this the way in which I can give my greatest gift?

Most of the Time

Most of the time.
My heart is filled with joy for you, it sings a song of wings.
I know that's how you want me to feel, you would scold me for anything less.
It knows you completed the task you had, your lessons here all learned.
I know you now soar far beyond, new adventures never dreamed.
Most of the time.
But once a day my heart feels bruised, the pain of loss so keen.
All I want is you back with us, lost chances found again.
One more time to play the fool, to share the words in books.
Another spin around our minds, the laughter from deep within.
Most of the time.
I know this isn't what you'd want, it's not how you meant us to be.
You told us to dance rejoice and laugh, as you travel on ahead.
I'll try my best to do as you said, and hug the joy with arms wide spread.
But don't ask me to stop missing you, it's something my heart can't do.
Most of the time.

Brandy Lare Dickerson, Known to many as the Dragon Lady from running her small book store in Anthony, KS called The Dragons Lair. Born October 13th 1964. A beautiful wife, mother, grandmother, sister, potter, writer, artist and friend flew from the earth on December 4th 2010 after a long fight with Leukemia. She lived many places during her 46 years but her favorite will always be an old farmhouse in Oklahoma outside of Manchester. Brandy enjoyed feeding those she loved good food and giving books to anyone who would take them. She liked wearing capes and didn’t use an umbrella because she preferred to get wet. The family would like to express their sincere gratitude to her bone marrow donor. Please consider honoring Brandy by joining the donor registry at www.bethematch.org. She is survived by her parents, siblings, husband Les her Victorian Barbarian, her children, whom she was so very proud of - her son Joshua Dickerson and his wife Amber, her daughter April Marie Dickerson Lopez and husband Michael, and her much loved grand daughter Emily Marie Lopez, the Weather Witch. A memorial will be held in Brandy’s honor at the Valley Garden Center in Phoenix, AZ on Saturday, January 8th at 3 p.m. All who knew her are invited to attend. Per Brandy’s request, no crying is allowed unless they are tears of joy and dress will be very casual for she believed comfort was more important than anything.

What I had to say.

Mom gave us honesty, support, unconditional Love and homemade food. She never lied to us about how life went and never believed in any of this touchy feely self esteem crap. She tried to make sure we had the information we needed to grow up. There were never any taboo subjects in our house. She tried very hard to fallow very basic rules when raising us
1. Never pick a fight you can't win ( however she did it anyways)

2. Have consistent rules that end in walls so that we hit something and know it when we messed up.

3. Be brutally honest to her-self and us – she gave us reasons that we understood and could grow from.

She also had a lecture for everything, so many lectures (her favorite form of punishment) she would say that they have them numbered in our heads and we know what mom and dad would think of anything we would ever try to do. When she was to tired for a long whined lecture she simply went with sayings here some of our favorites and I assure you they will be put to good use with my miss Emily : And what does that have to do with the price of tea in china. If we could explain it to her in a logical way how our being able to drive a combine at 4am would change the price, there was a very good chance she would let us.
We could always tell when we when getting on her nerves as it came with the warning of “Come closer so I can smack you”
I personally heard many times “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.
We always knew the fight was over and we had lost when she told us to "Go ahead and call child protective services - But make sure you pack because I won't be the one moving. And our all time favorite is BECAUSE I SAID SO.
It is said that the mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy. What a caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.
Mom loved every one and worked very hard to not judge people. She brought home many people over the years that were in need of a family. We lovingly call these people our strays and I can’t imagine my life any other way. People often felt she always did things the hard way. Between having kids at a young age, quitting her job, home schooling us and moving to a farm with nothing it may have looked like the hard way. However I have had more time and fun with my mom in my short 26 years than most people will get to ever have with their parents. She was truly a child at heart and if only I could find the bravery to act as freely as she did. I remember her making up songs on the way home from the book store about farmer john and what had his bad pig done now. She would eat flowers and sing in the grocery store. She would say anything to watch the shock of the people around her. To torment my brother when asking for new things she would tell him “I have panties older then you I don’t see why you need anything”. Josh always told her it was really time for new ones”. My mother lived in such a way most would call her eccentric, and free spirited, but we just called her MOM.
My mother was a big believer in God and knew that when we die we go onto a better place. Maybe not with harps and angels but certainly another plain of existence. One where we understand so much more then we can as we inhabit these weak human forms that are so easily damaged. She always thought of hell as a state of being, when you wake up on the other side and know the truth of the pettiness and angers you carried through life, because you lived in fear, of death, of life, of loss, of failure, of love.
To be true to her beliefs, she didn’t think people should cry at funerals she felt they should have a joyous feasts for the person who escaped this world, completed their trials and gets to move on to the next adventure.
After much contemplation and a long discussion with my brother we feel there is only one way to sum up how we feel about it all.

Our mom is better than your mom and it’s just not fair.

Feelings

Feeling lost and alone among so much family is indeed a dark place, however than again maybe it is just normal.

Trust Your Wings

A fledgling leaps because it trusts its wings; a lemming leaps because everybody else is doing it.

One's an adventure into new dimensions, the other's suicide.

I really screwed up!

Okay so last year I wrote a truly heart felt letter to a boy. It was probably one of my best works. Well it didn't work out so well, so I thought I might send in it in a different direction. With one minor faux pas on my part. I failed to change the name of the recipient. Now recycling letters admittedly is not a good thing. However forgetting to change the name of the addressee is inexcusable and I think now that perhaps I have ruined my chances with the only guy in school actually tall enough to date me. I suck... There are a lot worse things than this, I have experienced some of them recently. I went to my mother for comfort and she could not stop laughing. Please, worldly women of the blog tell me what I must do. Sincerely, D

Comfort

You can tell a lot about a person when you know what gives them comfort.

Thank you Lydia (a.k.a. Ying) & Michelle (a.k.a. Mishy)

For speaking and singing at our B's memorial today.

to blog or not to blog (Ying is cleaning out B's draft's pile)

as with everything else in my life the question of whether or not I take time to blog depends entirly on how lazy I really am and since I haven't blogged since October you can guess I am pretty damn lazy and there are so many thing I was supposed to blog about beside my laziness and my current addiction to Paint buckets on worldwinner.com this is an evil game destined to drive one mad and has taken me longer to become competant at than any other game in my life not to mention costing me more than both of my trips to vegas combined.

SO since you dont wan to hear about my addiction i will go onto the rest of the story.

Starting in October - For my Birthday I dragged my husband to the Hoover Inn for a night of wild sex, a stroll down Corpus Christi's pathetic business district preview of the Snopes Knife shop at the grand opening a drink at a bar whose name I can't remember and Dinner at Katz 21.

the knives were cool, the hotel was interesting it was the oldest operating motel in corpus and had been redone by the family. It was very pleasant in its recently redecorated rooms which he hubs couldn't smoke in which meant we spent a lot of time onthe front porch. Much better for families than sex.
Unfortunately though I did like them they are no longer open guess I should have done he review sooner. And no there was no wild sex, but at least I wasn't on the rag like last year when we went to the ocean house which is very romantic and one of corpus' few bed and breakfasts.

Diner at Katz 21 was 5 star and considering my company paid for it down right dreamy. http://www.katz21.com/

The best steak and lobster I have had in decades perfect service sedate classy atmosphere and quiet. I loved it and will definately go back.

Then there was thanksgiving and we forgot to play Alices restaurant for the first time in 20 years(we should be flogged) If you don't know what this is then you are sadly uneducated and you should run out and buy the CD now.

Christmas was spent in Harlingen with and christmas dinner was Johnny Corrinos best christmas dinner I have ever cooked.

This year for Christmas I gave all my family the privilidge of donating money to a drug addict to help her turn her life around. Obviously she didn't really want to because then she pronplty stole from our business so we would fire her and she could qulaify for food stamps. Next year I am donating fruit trees to impoverished countries. But lost money not withstanding it was fun to watch . People amaze me at how they can take oppotnities and destroy them and then want to be victoms. Grow up get a job and suffer witht he rest of us.

February was Las Vegas always a good time. Exspecially since hte company pays and my boss picks great places for dinner. I have good boss. Did I mention he pays

then came March when my oldest child got married. Being the wonderful child he is we stayed in a beach house in hawaii. The plane trip sucked the milk was 7.50 a gallon and the wedding was beautiful. the house was beautiful but he submarine and whale watching and other tourist goodies were wonderful. A grand time was had by all and hopefully they will last forever. My new daughter certainly is a cutie.

Guarantee for a difficult and happy lifetime

Guarantee for a difficult and happy lifetime:
1. Find what you love to do more than anything else in the world.
2. Do it, no matter what stands in your way.
3. Give the gifts of what you've learned from that love to others who care enough to ask.

Nations

The highest nation is a structure of values, and its patriotism is conscience.

Nil

Most happy, successful people at one time have considered suicide. They decided against it.

The Reality of Love

Know that ever about you stands the reality of love, and each moment you have the power to transform your world by what you have learned.

Politically incorrect Word of the day

Honkiong- the ghetto in Hong Kong where all the poor white people live.

PFLAG National Blog: Obama Administration Issues New Rules for Faith-Ba...

PFLAG National Blog: Obama Administration Issues New Rules for Faith-Ba...: "Virtually unnoticed by the press, President Obama issued an Executive Order in November establishing criteria for federal agency funding of ..."

Opponent

You learn most when you play against an opponent who can beat you.

Awaken by my own laughter

I've been sleeping like crap lately, I keep giving myself lots of plausible explanations for this. Some times it is the headaches and other times it is just a mind filled to the brim with thoughts. Thoughts of the day, of all the yesterdays. The movie in my mind on rewind, play, pause. I finally got to sleep and as I felt myself drifting off into a peaceful slumber I awoke to the sound of my own laughter.Which was not at all unpleasant. At first I thought that it was someone else's voice and not my own.
It was December 2, and April and I were walking out into the hospital parking lot. We were carting off a whole bunch of Brandy's stuff from her hospital room right after she was moved to ICU. As we were packing up we were amazed at how much stuff she had in there. A security guard pulled up and asked us if we wanted a ride, and we took him up on the offer. I think that we were both physically and emotionally exhausted. We were sitting on the back of a golf cart and April accidentally let go of the cart that was connected to our golf cart train via her hands. We both sort of watched it roll away for a few seconds before we acknowledged it. We both laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. Then the security guard who was obviously having fun chauffeuring us around the parking lot took the scenic route to April's car and we laughed about that too.

Design-O-Life

Everybody came here with a Design-O-Life Personal Future Construction kit. Not everybody remembers where they put it.

Mind Control Information (Yes Lydia is publishing Brandy's drafts this one is from 2006)

Mind Control Information

Happy New Year - Late as Usual (Unpublished Brandy from Jan 30, 2008)

Lydia says I should blog. And of course we all know we have to do everything Lydia says. I have been a very very bad blogger for the last week, month, okay year. I have actually been worse than just being a bad blogger, I have been pretty much bad at everything. Or in other words I have been really really good at doing nothing at all. Except gaming on my computer, I need a 12 step program.

Just call me slug and save me a seat at the scrabble table.

Lydia also said I should do my last year in review which of predisposes that I actually remember the last year and everything that went on in it. I did go to Hawaii for the first time to watch my son get married, and to Vegas for the second in which I ate at the top of the Eiffel tower. Very tasty Too expensive but nice.

There were also many blogs I didn't write about such things as the clouds passing overhead while I jacuzzied. It started out as a dragon egg and hatched into a dragon which became a whole flock of dragons.

Don't Be Surprised

When you pull a propeller through compression, don't be surprised when the engine starts.

Humanity

Humanity isn't a physical description, it's a spiritual goal. It's not something you're given, it's something you earn.