Crush

So I must admit that I am starting to find my boss to quite attractive lately. He's succesful, makes a shitload of money, and isn't bad on the eyes either. Plus it always helps that he has one of the best personalities as a male. So I might slightly have a crush on my boss. Just wanted to confess that today. Thanks for listening.

The Daddy Channel

  Maybe he was just trying to fuck with me but he seemed dead serious. Kelly is wearing my father's favorite Ring. The one I wore around my neck next to my moonstone pendant that my dearest Yang gave me. My mom gave it to my Dad for his fiftieth birthday and out of all the rings he owned he liked that one best. He wore it everyday. It's gold with a large square onyx, it's bold yet simple. You might almost say elegant if you could call a man's ring can be elegant. I could tell that Kelly liked it from the moment that he slipped it on his finger, and said that he would be happy to wear it. I really had no intention of giving it to him, it was mine after all. Just a small momento, a piece of metal to hold and wear on a chain. I  gave the ring to Kelly,I reasoned that Kelly would enjoy wearing it as my father had and I would enjoy seeing it. I do like  seeing it on my husbands hand. Kelly has never struck me as especially open to any other worldly influence and has never expressed any interest or belief in anything mystical, magical, or psychic. So understandably I was pretty floored when he announced that he felt that he was being guided by my father in his decision making process because he was wearing his ring. I asked him what decisions my father had guided him on and he wouldn't say. I inquired if he felt inclined to be nicer to me, his answer was no. BUZZZZZ!!! Wrong answer try again.
 
 

Songify This - CAN'T HUG EVERY CAT (now on iTunes) -- a song about lovin...

Dreams

When I close my eyes I don't dream as often anymore. I just sleep, and then I wake. It's a bit dissatisfying really. I've grown accustomed to my second life. The one that I am living while I slumber. Last night I dreamt of my grandparents. My biological father Paul's mother and stepfather. They were sitting near one another, she was turned to the side and was not talking. I couldn't see her face and I was afraid for some reason. I looked at Pedro examining his wrinkled features, absorbing the fact that this a man that has been long gone from the earth. I thought perhaps I should say something to him, yet I had nothing to say. We didn't talk much growing up, he lived in this country for 50 plus years yet spoke only Spanish. I thanked him for being my grandfather yet I am not exactly sure why. He was not very grandfatherly, he smoked, drank, and gambled only popping in for a meal or to sleep beside his wife. I never saw my grandparents express any form of affection towards each other. I can't remember if he said anything back.
  I see my Aunt Lindy sometimes in my dreams, and B has made a few appearances. I wish my Dad would show up. I really miss him. Maybe we can sit down and have a cup of coffee and talk. I would really like that.    Next time I see B we are going to eat Petite fores exactly like the ones that we saw when we went to the art opening. They were so beautiful. After that we are going to the park to swing and if there are an dragons nearby we are going to fly somewhere. Maybe we will just walk barefoot on the grass, soft grass. The kind that where you leave a footprint in when you walk.

Isms

Ying - I forgot to tell you my newest ism is Steampunk.  Literature, design, clothing, you name it. Going outfitted all steampunk to the Maroon 5 concert next month.  B would be proud of me!

Chocolate Single Skeletons

Okay - you guilted me into posting.  I have nothing new, exciting, or interesting to say, but here I am. 

I am sending Bick to Las Vegas next week without me to visit my sister.  He'll be gone Thursday to Monday, so party at my house next weekend.  Bring your own chocolate and skeletons.

We got snow yesterday - about 4-5 inches and as we've been in a severe drought for 2 years, it was welcome. I was thrilled to see it falling, but easy to say since today it's supposed to be 57 degrees.

Being single - I think I've gotten so old and lazy I wouldn't have the energy for it any more.  Then again, I'm my own best company so it wouldn't be so bad.

Down to 8 goats but 3 are going to have babies in March, so I'll have some little ones bouncing around and that's always fun.   Up to 4 dogs now (about 3 too many) but I'm a sucker for anything unwanted.

I think that's all I have to say today.  Notice how I spaced my paragraphs so it looks like I wrote more than I did.  

eHarmony Video Bio

Yangless

I'm Yangless, and Ying really makes no sense without a Yang. Yang claims that she has nothing to say, and to that I say. Liar, liar pants on fire, she is just being selfish with herself. Selfish selfish selfish. The least she could do is write me some bad mag poetry or post pictures of goats. Oh well, I'll just be writing here all loser like and Yangless. Maybe if I make her fall in love with me again she will write something. But, I'm afraid I have forgotten how to be loveable. I have no clue whatsoever. On that topic, I have nothin nada zilch.

The List

My husband has three on Cleo's list, when I met him I thought he had four. As it turns out he was only acting adventurous to sucker me in so he put a ring on my finger and procreate with me. Jokes on him though because I am so much more of a slob than he thought and I've gotten really fat. I'm pretty sure skinny Barbie like girl was one of the things on his list. He has a lot of other things that aren't on her list but luckily they are on mine. Did I know these things about him when I started lusting after him? Hell no! I just thought he had really hot legs. In essence not practicing due diligence has been my downfall on multiple occasions. It takes a long time to really get to know someone. The main reason is because people lie. Yes we are all a bunch of liars. We want to put our best foot forward, and we do it with the best of intentions. So he may say he likes kids Cleo. But, he might only be tolerating yours because he thinks that you are super spectactular and he wants to sleep with you. This is a hypothetical situation, I am not saying that any man might be so lame but they could be. People surprise me all the time, I will think I know just one thing about them and then they will go and do something contrary and my mind will be blown. I could write a freaking book about this. Where was I? OH.... Just going to skip all the bla bla bla and say something that is probably contrary to many a free spirit. Delay the physical intimacy as long as possible, it might help.

Single Yet Again

So I am single yet again. Amusing, I know. I'm actually starting to think the problem is not the men, but me. Am I picky? Yes. Too picky? Perhaps. I just know what I want and at this point don't want to settle for anything less than that. So I have been thrown back into the dating world once again. What I am looking for:

Sense of humor (This goes with sarcasm, silliness, and plain old funny jokes. Make me laugh and we are definately going somewhere)
Stable job (and when I say stable I mean you are happy with your job, you have been there for awhile, and you make a decent amount of money off from it to support yourself)
Aust like children (of course this is a must because now I have a child)
Adventurous (Do I want to date another boring person? No. Need I say more?)
Likes to dance (yes, I have put this as a trait I am looking for. Why? Because I want to actually be able to date a guy and ask him out for a night of dancing without worrying that he is going to say, "I don't do that" I want to date someone who likes to dance dammit!)
Good in the bedroom (Is it too much to ask that I want all these traits plus someone who is great in the sack? I think not....)

Wish me good luck in finding the perfect one!

Yippy....

My husband is coming home one day earlier than scheduled. Yippy, I said. Really without enthusiasm but he didn't know it because we were messaging one another and I used an exclamation point. What I was thinking was, oh shit I have a lot of cleaning do before he gets home! I've had just a few days off in the last 18 days of his absence so just close your eyes and picture what that looks like. It isn't a pretty picture. Right now I could be doing something anything to better the condition of the casa but no I'm not doing that. I'm sitting here whipping out this little narrative. My right arm hurts. That's the one I carry my camera with.

Ok I am going to write something real now. Did you know that I am absolutely terrified of new people? I know that sounds silly. I am also afraid of post offices and mailing letters and packages. Go ahead and yuck it up Yang. It is absolutely true. I am quite screwed up.

Skelotons in the closet (like a ton of skeletons or several bigs ones that weigh about a ton)

 I actually was going to edit several typos on my last mini blog. Oh by the way, I am no longer protesting literacy. I might actually take that grammar class that I have been threatening to take for the last decade. Maybe, unless I get distracted, and I am so prone to that. Distraction, it's a blessing really. It allows us to forget those little details. Sometimes we don't really need attention  to detail. There are some details that we just don't need.
  I went to visit my Aunt last month while I was in CA. She pulled the skeletons out and asked them to dance for me. They were happy to oblige her, they danced and made merry. They even invited friends, and thier friends,my they were scary. I wouldn't exactly say that they were skeletons. They were more of the rotting corpse variety. Hidden well, but oh the stench. I could smell it on myself for weeks after we parted, after several dozen showers even. I can still smell a bit of it on me now. I don't think that anyone else can smell it. They still look at me like I am a normal person and not this thing with a scarred mind. I'm fooling everyone, I'll become human again. If I just leave the crazy in California.
  What I want to know is, why is it when someone knows something truly terrible that they are always wanting to share it with another human being? Now don't get me wrong, if it is your business and I love you- Please by all means scar my mind. I'll bare it for you, and bury it for you. I'll share your burden. Just please if it in no way involves you or I or any others in our cast of players then let me live in the bliss of ignorance. I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is. I understand that this all sounds like a bunch of schizophrenia, and that's ok because TRUST ME when I say this. You do not want to know. You really and truly don't. I just needed to write about it.

I'm just going to say it, the block is gone, in it's place is a jumble of random nonsensical thoughts that I will attempt to transfer to this cyber think pad. At the moment there are a couple of puppies lounging around upstairs like they own the place. Lindy and I found a these bundles of cute along with  thierMommy running the streets near the local Elementery school. Given the severe cuteness that they were afflicted with I couldn't baer to imagine them flat on the asphalt. Just small spots of jerky and fur that would eventually blow away with the wind. Hardly big enough to even look gross after their head are squished and one eyeball pops out.

182 lbs and guess my favorite ice cream flavor and I will write you a story.

From what I gather, I was probably a pretty strange child from an early age I remember people commenting to my mother that I was like a tiny adult. I don't know where all of that business went because as of now I am like a large child, go figure. I feel as if I have been aging backwards like Benjamin Button except for my body hasn't quite got with the program yet. That's aging that's for certain. I might be giving up on  my life story it's already boring me.
  April wrote about chocolate and that is definately more interesting. After blowing up like the Good Year Blimp I decided to shed some of my very large reserves. So 60 ponds lost pretty easy. It's creeping back up thoug.h, make that 55. So I have about 45 more to go and I am not reasonably certain I can do it. Maybe it's lack of motivation or desire. I wasn't kidding, I will write a story for anyone who can correctly guess my favorite ice cream flavor. So come on all you four readers of the blog get to guessing.

O La La Chocolate

Mike and I got to spend some time out of the house. We have had plans to go to a chocolate fest for several days and just lucked out that Emily was still sick so dad watched her and we got time out of the house. I love Emily but time out with Michael is just so much more when I don’t have about losing a kid while out at night. However the point is not the night it is that I wanted nothing more than to eat a chocolate covered cheesecake. We stand in line and have to wait a good five minutes we get close to the front and we discover this particular booth believes chocolate COVERED cheesecake means we are going to drizzle a tiny bit of chocolate over this cheesecake and charge you double for it. I can see trying to get away with that at your standard festival but if you’re going to set up at a chocolate fest you had better dip the whole thing in chocolate a maybe twice just for good measure. Luckily we did find a set up farther down that knew the true meaning of chocolate dipped cheesecake and it was O LA LA Chocolate.

My stepfather Gene (used to call him that when I was a kid) left us a little over a month ago. Those of you that know me probably know that he was the man that raised me, he was my Dad. Those of you that don't know me, you really should try to put yourself in my orbit. I'm pretty fantastic, pretty weird but fantastic. It's not as if I'm going to make much of an effort to get to know any one. I'm freaking terrified of people, I do best with pushy overly intimate people. Less effort there, just let them lead the way to the funny farm, just go along for the ride.
  I miss my Dad, and I think I was a lousy daughter. When you escape the insane asylum that was your nursery you don't go running back, even if you love the other patients you just don't do it. Stay tuned people, I'm about to tell the story of my life. I'm not even going to lie so  a lot of it will peobably be incredibly boring. I don't have a great attention to detail so I'll be lucky if I even get a few pages out of me. I could just be threatening. I probably am. Maybe.
Life of Ying the ADD version (with no lies maybe)
 I was born, from the pictures that I've seen I was pretty damn cute.