Some times I think that God just likes to fuck with me. Other times I think why would God even bother there are so many other things God could be doing with time. I am feeling greatful today. I see God in everything and everyone, in each experience comical and tragic. I see God's hand, in everything. I see how I try to manipulate situations but then have absolutely no affect on the outcome. People, passions, and places will fade in and out of your life but God is constant. It's a fact, God is not a control freak, just sits back and watches it all unfold the way God knows it will. Maybe when things get a little slow God makes it happen. Allen says that he thinks that God is forcing humanity to play out the same story till we get it right.

Eve

Beautiful Depravity

Humanity

Passionate Charms

Splendid Prisoner

Drunkard Dreaming Vampire

Fragrant Perfumes Scent

Tense Words

Worms Regrets

Poison Wine Embrace

Steel Guilt Trembling Transgression

Melancholic Crying Stars

Night Rain

Torrid Silent Ocean Tears

Sunset

Vague

Subtle

Bitter

Sensuos

Cold

Repentance

Nightmare

I was driving back from another state, maybe California. Wherever it was it was a long way from home. It was late at night and I felt as if I could not keep my eyes open another, minute. They were stinging, heavy leaden, but I only had an hour to go. The kids were in the back of the Yukon asleep. I blinked and I was a few blocks from home, or at least that's what the street sign said but I did not believe it. It didn't look like home, it looked like Viking Drive in Camarillo but it was suppose to be Honduras street. I pulled into the driveway and heard noises, shuffling sounds in the garage. I banged on the garage door a few times then opened it. Out ran Iris and another cat. I went inside with the kids, there was no furniture in the house. Gwen came in and announced that she was selling a house down the street and that she was also selling the contents in an estate sale. She said there was a table there that she thought that we could use. I left the kids with her and walked down block to the house. I opened the door with keys and went inside, there was a dark wood secretary with carved dragons on it, a small old round wood table and the table that Gwen wanted me to see, which was mod and not my style. I wanted to see the rest of the house so I walked down the hall, I noticed that the floor was being re tiled, with some old Gothic looking tile. There was a pile of dried quickset near the bathroom and that was where the tiling job had ended, abruptly someone decided to abandon the project without even cleaning up the excess quickset. i found it odd. I peeked in the bathroom and that is truly where the nightmare began. There was an old claw foot bathtub and a woman sitting up in it and she had blood on her face. I do not know why but I assumed that this woman was Lindy and all I could think to say was I love you. I walked away and she followed, she was dressed and had no blood on her. I exited the house and as I was leaving I saw scores of Realtors entering the house, I wanted to get it locked before they reached the door. A woman walked passed me into the house, I said."What are you doing" She answered that she was the owner of the house. Gwen followed behind her. I noticed that I was carrying two toys out and I was embarrassed to be caught t aking something from the house. As I walked home, a little ghost girl skipped behind me. She was very happy. As I was about to open the door to my house I asked the woman from the house, "Does God allow this?' To that she answered, God does nothing. Then I asked, "Who makes this happen?" She relied he does, the master. By the master I knew she meant someone who was not good. I instantly knew that this woman was not Lindy and felt afraid. I asked why she had left the other house, she said that I invited her to by telling her that I loved her, that now she could go wherever I did. I went inside and I found my mother there and I told her that something terrible was happening, then my mother turned into a doll. I began to say words to protect myself but the words would not leave my lips, I was petrified. I was unintelligible. The boys were in the back yard and I went outside and found some dolls and I tried to destroy them. Then I felt my back and there was wire coming out of it and I pulled hard and it hurt. It came out and I heard a radio announcer say, reprogram yourself.

I saw a bottle of Chianti, the kind with the wicker or straw wrapped around the bottom. There was a drip candle in it and I just watched it drip. I watched it forever and when the candle would melt down another one would be put in it's place.

Dylan lyrics dujour

Lines from Maggies farm

Well, I try my bestTo be just like I am,But everybody wants youTo be just like them.They sing while you slave and I just get bored.

The NeverEnding Christmas

Yesterday I got MORE gifts!! A box chock full of books and a large gift certificate for Amazon.com. That Ying sure knows how to spoil a chick! We should become Mormons and then I can marry her.

A few lines from a Dylan song.

Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than people who are most content.I don't have any regrets, they can talk about me plenty when I'm gone.You always said people don't do what they believe in, they just do what's most convenient, then they repent.

The children are all busy looking for Mommy's keys. The boys want to go to Toys R Us. The girl wants a ride to the movies. I am listening to Bob Dylan CD. My pup is outside. I think that life is pretty good at this moment.

It Must Be Christmas

Because..........

Darrel is ensconced in the Royal Recliner and watching Bad Santa - which as far as he's concerned is the best holiday movie ever made and should be on everyone's "must watch" Christmas list.

I have a full belly - full of bad things I don't eat the rest of the year - mainly tons of dark chocolate that my Moon & Stars sent me.

We had a relief mailman yesterday and apparently this one is an elf, or at least human, unlike the regular one, as he delivered a huge package from Texas right to my door. It contained an enormous amount of teas, body lotions, body butters, body gels, perfume, (do I stink?), blouses, sweaters, tee shirts, a large variety of chocolates (all dark, of course), candles, a huge pile of gifts for my Bean dog including treats, chewies, things to make her smell good, a WebKinz dog, a tooth brushing kit, truffles for the Beloved Bick, and more but the chocolate has gone to my brain and I can't remember right now.

Bick the UnChristmas got me two of the things on my list (I thought if I got one it would be a Christmas miracle, so the joke is on me), besides getting me a Journey of Love diamond necklace that I secretly really really wanted but didn't ask for and never in a gazillion years imagined B.U. would get me. Although no one will admit to it, I am positive Ying had EVERYTHING to do with that particular gift! And I got one of the sweetest things ever - last night he asked me to go ride with him today, since he had to work. So, we pumped wells together this a.m. and a grand time was had by all!

NORAD TRACKS SANTA 2007

NORAD TRACKS SANTA 2007

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

Older white women join Kenya's sex tourists | U.S. | Reuters

Older white women join Kenya's sex tourists | U.S. | Reuters

eBay Store - Best Buy Outlet Store: Best Buy, BestBuy, bestbuy.com

eBay Store - Best Buy Outlet Store: Best Buy, BestBuy, bestbuy.com

More Bad Poetry

Sweet twilight
Taste your lips
Steal a sip of my cup
Winter soul stings
Flee empty hold
Sharp Pull
I wrap words
Silent naked eyes

More Pretty Lights for Christmas

This one has much better photos than the other and no tacky dead reindeer.

A slideshow of Yahoo! Front Page's favorites on Flickr

TackyChristmasYards

My fave is Santa's reindeer shot and hung from a tree.

Bad but funny
(No they aren't real deer)
TackyChristmasYards

Diamond for Christmas

Hubby doesn't know it yet, but he bought me Diamond for Christmas. No.....not A diamond, but Diamond. Here is his picture:

Goats fined in sex scandal | Metro.co.uk

The joys of Bible Belt life.....

Goats fined in sex scandal | Metro.co.uk

Mother Nature's Christmas Lights!

NASA - Christmas Eve Sky Show

NASA - Christmas Eve Sky Show

The Tequila Worm by Viola Canales

Every time Lindy reads a book and enjoys it she is passing it along for me to read so we can discuss it. This week it was The Tequila Worm. Eating an actual Tequila worm is a Mexican folk remedy for homesickness. No not drinking the bottle of Mescal just eating the worm ( but you have to chew it). A major theme in this book is comadres, learning who your camadres are and how to be a good one. I attempted to help Lindy identify her comadres but we both had a tough time doing so. I tried to impress upon her that it is a quality not quantity issue. The mother that made all the crazy crafts in the book reminded her of me and I can see how Lindy might think that but I secretly have fancied myself a creator, an artist and not just an insane crafty gal. I guess Lindy knows better. One thing that the book did for me was to help me realize that I have never helped my children to connect to Lindy ( my daughters namesake). I don't tell enough stories, or share enough of the joy that she gave me. I have been selfish. For the longest time it was just too hard but I have no excuse now. I am going to make a great effort to help connect them to everything, often times we live in a disconnected world. It seems like no one has any sense of family or loyalty. Everyone is out for themselves, but it is okay if we are not. Let the world be as the world is and we can be what we are without apology.

I have nothing in the drafts pile!

Thank You Cindy Lou Ying

I have to give Ying kudos for melting the Grinch's heart. I was telling Bick, The Wonder Husband, about Ying posting her Christmas list on the blog and planning on giving her hubby a copy. Very unexpectedly, Bick The UnChristmas said, "Why don't you do the same thing. I might be running into Santa this week."
After picking myself up off the floor, pinching myself, and swinging back a straight shot of tequila, I am here to officially compose my Christmas wish list.

#1.) Ditto on Yang's #1. except I won't use it to visit myself.

#2.) A New Zealand doe, preferably about a year old already. If she has a sister, I want them both.

#3.) The following all fall into the same category (keeping warm) so do not comprise seperate gifts, but must come as a package: spare snow gloves so when one pair is drying I still have a pair to wear out, warm wooly socks but not too thick so I can still get my boots on, at least two sets of long johns, some warm (but not flannel) pajamas (no gowns - must be tops and bottoms).

#4.) A full hour massage with Cory.

#5.) Jewelry is always appreciated, in any form.

#6.) A bottle of my favorite cologne and if you have to ask what it is, then you are too stupid to be married to me, because even if you DON'T know, a man with 1/2 a brain will go look at the bottle in the cabinet.

#7.) Since you have no clue what I've already read, a gift certificate to any bookstore will be greeted with kisses.

#8.) I forget what #8.) is.

#9.) A lost God.

#10.) Everything.

And if you get the reference of those last three, you get absolutely anything you want for Christmas. (Yes, even THAT!!)

X-mas list for Kelly

I think the wind was saying, "Hey bitch put the poison down and go drink a gallon of water or you are going to feel like Caca tomorrow"but I just ignored the wind saying hey you are messin up my hair. My head hurts. I am trying to cure myself with herbal tea. Dona left the party sooner than I did because she is my elder and so much wiser. Kelly has been asking for my X-mas list so I thought I would blog it for the world.

1# 200 gift certificate for Continental Airlines
They seem to be the ones with the lowest fares and if I catch a sale I can go and see my Yang.

The rest of these things are in no particular order really

Ultra sonic Jewelry Cleaner (available in Jewelry section at Walmart)

Tabu Perfume (It's cheap like me)

More diamond earrings, I need smaller studs to wear on top of the larger ones
Good quality, either white gold or platinum with screw on backs

I would also like black diamonds they do not have to be white

CD's to replace some old ones that the kids have ruined

Tracy Chapman Matters of the heart
Edie Brickell Ghost of a dog
Violent Femmes the one with blister in the sun

Pedicures for a year

A clone of Rebel

Better Judgement

A get out of jail free card

A better singing voice

For you to cook for me, something anything please.

For you not to pull away when I hold you.

Everyones's favorite drunk blogging

The wind is speaking to me, I have no idea what it is saying but it is speaking. Whipping about making my hair a tangle, it's cool. It's all good. I am the only one up. It's just me and my Margarita. Nothing is complicated everything is good. I am ultimately alone but I do not mind my own company. Last week A said that he would like to give everyone the feeling of peace that he had sitting on under his back porch, under his trees. I concur, well said A. If everyone could get it that would be a most excellant thing. I spent the morning with lil B. I have missed that child, she has a wonderful spirit, she keeps playing the hand that life has dealt her. We went shopping, I couldn't help but to spoil her. Someone needs to. I want to get a two by four and knock her father upside the head. He doesn't know what he is missing. I may see him tommorrow. Once again I will plea her case but he won't give a damn. I am going to lay it on the line tomnorrow. I am going to say hey you selfish fucking prick are you going to be part of your daughters life or not, She is waiting for you to love her. It is a sad scenario to witness and I cannot help to relate to her. I don't think H has it in him. He is too damn stupid to see that she is the best thing that has ever happened to him. I can't believe that I ever called him a friend.

Mag Poetry

I am spending the evening with Tequila and Mag poetry in honor of the most holy of spiritual holidays (International Yang Day, of course)

No title


Harmony Balance Passion Living

Do you feel free?

Drunk Angel

My drug is deep

Waste my time

I like to write about you

You see the art

Create with me

No black paint

Happy Birthday Dona!

We will party when we see each other next! Which will be hopefully soon, I am saving for another plane ticket. We can drink Tequila and smoke cigars and look at the stars together, or you can come to San Antonio and we can find some witty Texans with questionable moral value to entertain us. I love you!

God has a wicked sense of humor.

Note to self when making requests to the almighty if you are going to ask for something more than the standard God's will remember to be as specific as possible because God has a wicked sense of humor. You will get exactly what you asked for no more or no less and it really is all in the details.
So that was a good one God, I am not sorry yet but I am sure that soon enough you will show me the error of my ways and I will be repentant. I am trying not to be so human but it is so damn hard.
I had this dream where I confess my sins to a priest and he just wants more details and when I am done he says be sure and come back and tell me what happens next.

Lindy's first crush and people named Daniel Part 1

Lindy came home from school today and told me that her former best friend S was making fun of a boy because he was not masculine enough. Lindy was very confused by this and we discussed it for a while. I inquired as to who the boy was and, when she said his name I knew.
My daughter has her first crush and it is innocent and pure and the sweetest thing ever. I must say my daughter has great taste. Daniel is a beautiful boy, he has a beautiful face and wavy black hair, a nice physique and is always flawless in his attire. Which is quite an amazing feet for a 13 year old boy. He is a confident speaker, a graceful ballet dancer, and does not take shit from anyone. He is going to be quite a man some day.

Mothers can fix anything!

Lindy: Mom fix my smile (it is picture day today)
Lindy smiles with awkward fake smile
Lindy: See it's terrible.
Lydia: Think happy thoughts
Lindy: Like what?
Lydia: Think of something evil to do to Paloma.
Lindy smiles a bright beautiful smile. (That's my girl!)
Lindy: I am looking in the mirror.
Lindy: I love this smile! Mom you are so good.
Lydia: Yes I know, if only I could use my powers for good instead of evil.

Help Plant A Tree

For every person that signs up, they donate to American Forests. They have planted over 25 million trees and now we are joining them in their effort to plant 100 million trees by 2020.


Plant Me

Visitors

I may be under in the stars in a sleeping bag in some remote area on Friday or Saturday night. The Geminids are coming to visit Yang for her birthday. The Perseids were lovely and even worth the 100 plus mosquito bites that I received while watching them. http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20071207/sc_space/bestmeteorshowerof2007peaksdec13

Happy Holidays from the Goats

Turn the volume on before clicking.

Happy Holidays from the Goats

Christmas Present Wedding Dress

Wedding dress for sale. Or whatever - you can use it to play dress up or to throw paint on and think of your last husband.

David's Bridal Wedding Gown Dress Size 6 Strapless NoRs -
David's Bridal Wedding Gown Dress Size 6 Strapless NoRs - (eBay item 220180464439 end time Dec-12-07 16:07:30 PST)

Thought for the day

My life is like one of those dreams where you realize that you are dreaming but still try to bring an object back with you. Upon waking, you open your hand and there is nothing (rationally you know that you can't bring things back from dreams) yet you are still surprised that all you have is a handfull of air.
I'm sure Dona could edit this and make it make sense, or maybe not.

Even unbirthdays can suck!.

We went out last night a rain check birthday for moi so to speak. Couldn't just go out for no reason like most people that enjoy spending time together or can at least tolerate one an others company. Don't go to Logan's Roadhouse in Corpus Christi, it really sucked. Our server had to much crank before work and my theory that this could make you a better waitress is completely blown. Food sucked and the service sucked worse. Company at this point was so so, drinks were okay. I had yet to do any real Christmas shopping so we went to a few stores afterwards and, that was not a good thing. There is a reason God has spared me shopping with this man. He could not even feign enthusiasm for the sake of my rain check birthday, it was worse than a root canal. I have had two root canals so I should know. I would have been content with him following me blindly with a blank look on his face. That would have been just fine with me. But no,he nearly lobbied against each choice I made. Complained about the price the everything, and refused to make any suggestions as to what we should actually get for the kids. Well that is not fair he did say gun's, knifes, and sporting goods at one point. I tried to make light of the fact that he was being a miserable jerk by saying, now I know why we don't go shopping together.At which point he responded like the big fat whiny ass baby that he is. I know, I can never do anything right for you. It was supposed to sound sarcastic I am sure, but it just sounded pathetic. Next we went to Barnes and Nobles for coffee and I do not usually get coffee at Starbucks and accidentally ordered a frozen drink. I walked around the store shivering. God has a wicked sense of humor, seriously. I had been wanting to spend some time with my husband, but now I am actually asking myself why? I keep telling my daughter that she should strive to be near and around good people that enjoy her company. Funny that I do not even follow my advice. So that's that. I should be thankful for every moment that he is away that I do not actually have to spend in his company.